ie ? white paper by rea But Bate 'tey's a8 Bame = me keeper <7 looks after folks what is Phe s ak solid sense, has a my Betsy, the solidest ver Ww as T haven't the ie slightest idee, sir, just how the But Joe id a Soahee beenBetsy, and Betsy she'd otghter been Joe. : That gal she will go end the medder, an' toss up e hay like a nm She'll work 'ie the ead 1 an the shadder as bard, "ir, as ever she ca But? Joe be'll, », out S there at dawdle. At I don't mind a-h3 vin' my home, sir, the home of a poet at all. I must may | like for to listen to verses of spring an But -- 4 don't like for to see, sir, an' what my bein' awhirl, Is the p Toate writ by a bos, sir, an' all the hay tossed by a gir It seems to me sort of outrageous, a sortofa terrible blow That eo be should oughter been Betsy, and tay should oughter been Joe ; Because I have unas told. Mandy--my wife sir; a splendi e-- That muck that wee w fittin' for women ain't fiittin' for men kind to do. I've sort of a-twitted the lady on weakness 0' woman am that, And havin' the thing turned around. sir, 's the thin at's a-knocking me flat. An'if there'sa way in creation for changin"em I'd like to know So's Joe oe be made into Betsy, and Betsy be made into Joc --John Kendrick Banos, in Harper's Bazar. The German Band. The a ip in band, in the noonday heat, on a corner of the street. ORC ciner and Mederwurst ith cornets under theirarms were first ; Next Schmidt with a clarionet thate shone ; . Then Hans Von Beck with & great trombone ; While after them there would sways come Litthe Dutch Fritz with Bis big basa drum, And, as the gathering crowd be ered, Birkenbeimer, the leadcr, cri cin--zwei-- --drei--+o ! tor". Vier--funf--led hef go!" Tom ar oom pety-woompety-woomp they And fo! 'ks "wherever a took their ome WwW outs always say, en they heard them ay, There = as nothing | to equal the German band! LAUGH AN D LEARN. af china ware ie tbe oldest The makiry industry. Command larg fields, bat cultivax emal enee. -- Virgil. 'There,are about 44 yards of eewing on- lady's kid gleve. (he Shah of-Peraia is the proud father o eighteen children. ~ Corseta have been found en the waists of Ezyptian mum miler. Oae-third of all the landed preperty of Rasala is mortgaged. @ O! the population ef Spain ene-fifteenth are sald te be nobler. -- Zhe prefane man always takes a cursory view of the obher side. Every member of the Osage tribe ef In- Aians is worth $15,771. Tae death of an o-sified mio in Tennes- ea is reported. He died ha *. We oannot aiways oblige, bat we can always epeak ebligingly-- Voltaire. i A rude species of marioer's compass was kaowa te the Chinese aa early as B. O. 1115. N«uralists sesert that the hippopotamus Will Deoome extinct within the nexs twenty years. A fever thermemeter ia now made in chatelains form for the use of trained nurere. Daring the past thirteen \ years the U. §. psteut office has gramted 2,500 paten's to women. France has bad sizky-ineen queens, of whem thirteen, an'odd number for Inok, led happy lives. The remarkable statement is made that the average Engliehman uses ferty ef salt a year. The tranamissien of measages perched en them. ' Seme Southern bdities attribute the intro- duction ef meequitees to railway oars, cspe- clally the, Palines sleepers. Btevensen's full name is Robert Uenle Balfour Stevenson. The novelist dropped the third name from his signatare years ago. The war of the rebellion was the most disastreus ef all modern wars, cesting 830,- 000 lives and more than seven billiens ef dollars. It ia well enough to have yeur knewlede at-year fing' re' ends, but when you wan: te;pass an examination {tia beteer to pat it on;the end «f your cuffs. i: *' You look gweet -neugh to eat," ssid Joab Sassafrae te bis beet girl on Sanday afterooon. " You just wait titl sapper time and you'll see me eat," was her reply. . After the Feotball Maal. After the maul was over, After the maul, * One of the old retiiédies for nese bleed was to put adropet vinegar ia the ear. saa wae eapposed to be curable if a Grop,¢} cabbage jatce was defely. injected ear. ' Paal Da Caatlla says baat' the man whe the world's !nventers aod be frem t mi 1 to the ra lread the wheel is pomethbing mac cannd: do without. enrions estinetes that the p-eple United Srdtes drink 8,125,010 gallens of water every dey of the year, the average dally censumptien amounting to a pint (he average residend ef Lenden ents '| Parliament of the through tele- |. ope wires --_ net injure birds thad may invented vce wheel was the greatest of all}. ' fer A statistician with an Spp-+tite fer the in the --------E-- -- Betay and Jee. ov. DO I'm sort of upeot in, my mind. sir; I'm kind of when you buy + - wrought u 'alioes or cloth- Yim filled up with tro 'rouble 1am, sir /iny beart ing ? Don't of * Tyo got a we a@ eon, sir. He's weak ee it yon *- asa fe lace (: you But*then I've a daughter who's stronger, I an find "it . nor hér mother nor And that is the thing that upsets me--it fills where M Jao be had meter be been Betay and Betsy ~~ <7 ¥ "she'd oughter been Joe. , noe Bons outs Why, Joe, b 't good for his salt, sir. He and then, al 'allecd a ne up to xin reams refund the He pace he's a born reshakespere, and game when is sold on that plan. It's the mer purifier so certain and effective that can be for cure, o back. It's not like the ordinary spring medi- cines or sarsaparillas. All the year Fround, | it cleanses, builds up, and invigorates the system. If you're bilious, run-down, or dyspeptic, or have any blood-taint, noth ing can equal it as a remedy. a TTT. seven peurds of carrote, thirty-four pounds of oniens, one hundred and :eventy-two ef tomatoes every year. Parisians indi- vidually~ censume thirty-eeven peunds of ia) hbatiechod Seder le? spotells' Looast ocean ¥; for the firat 230 miles the gradient is but six fest to the mile. In the next twenty miles the fall is ever 9,000 feet, and a0 precipitous is the descent that in many places depths of 1,200 te 1,600 fathems are encountered in very close p oximity to the 100-fathem line. With the depth ef 1,800 to 2,000 fa'hems the een bed. becomes a slightly undalated plain 1,200 miles wide. The greatest depth ia the Atlantic fe 300 miles or se nerthward ef the Ieland ef 8». Thomar, where seund- (ogs of 3,875 fathome were ebtained, er scree four miles in depth: -- Nautical Maga *> + Life losuranse bas daring the pa twenty years come to be considered mach ef ' necessity fer the protestien P the heme and prevision fer the family as Fire Insurance is regarded as indiapentabdle for the protectien ef property. In this conn sotien we are pleased to netice the ino tien by act ef the Dominien eme Life Association ef Canada with head office in Torente. The cempany is autherised to transact the bual- new of Life losurance upsen o plan and ts under Gevern neat sapervisicn. The 'rates are calculated fer pure Life Insurance unmixed with Bankiag and are, therefere, frem a third to «ne half leas than these charge by the oid tins companies who are piling ap emsrm~as reserves and profi.s which oanuet be used or revuensd to those who contribute thym. Tne " Home Lite" seems to bs in itns with the wants of aheee people, woo, while needing tnwrance, sheald not be charged twe prices tor that * | article. This Item for Men. The fanny barber pub up a new siga in his shop lasuwesk. I:read: ' Shave and hair cat while you wait." Old Muggridge read it and grunted, " Hamph! I deo't sea anything fanny abeut that." "QO! course you den's," said Henry. ** You den's eee any fan in it beonuse it is always somebody elee who is gotiunz the ehave and hair vat while you wait." Iam a little boy just 11 yeazs old. My little sister haa takeu fwur vottle: of Piso's fer Consumptien, and it ia the firas thing that hav ever dace her any govd. Sune is ouly 4 years old, and bas had @ bad cold ever since sne was » year old till new abe is almost entirely ever in --Hrat FREDERICK, Keensburg, liis., March 20th, 93. Krexssvga, Iil., Nov. 18.h, 1893. DraB Sim,--My sister ia eatirely over her cough. We have been asing '** P.20's Cure for Consumption' fer several years, and ars never wishoat a bottle, Yours' traly, Bier FREDRICK. Childish Simplicity. Little Emilistta committed some trifling offence, fo which, se a punishment, she was pub oy her mother ia « corner of the dining reom. In » few miautes, when she had ceased orylog, ashe siowly lifeed her syes, and, heaving a deep aigh, said : ae "New, come, do come aud kisi me, mother dear--I forgive yeu." Have You Asthma ? De. will mail a trial package of '* 'Sshiffmann's Asthma Oure" free to any saoff:rer. He advertises by giving it away. Never fails to give inatent relief and cures where others fai. Name this paper and send address fer free trial package. Shouldn't Mix Their Primka in ite prearnce ! oae it disentangled |! ia danger in it. 'Why Limp About With paloful ceros? "Puwam's Painles OCern Extracter .will remove them pain- leasly ina few days. Use the safe, sare od painless cern cure--Putmem's Corn fete: At draggiew'. (he Rt. Rev. destined if Gay--Indeod, L fear a0, bishep ; non one for the lest thres days. PT ee every case, or you' have your money pounds of potatess and fifty-seven pounds | So writes carrots, forty-nine «f potatoes, fifteen of} eniens and seventeen of tomatees per annom. | and R. Schtfimana, 8b Paul,. Mina., '+ b & STAIRWAE OOEE OS RNER.. * Ie there « bare eee acead 'h ef the firet and the. of the secent . b of You the ged denim. © Balld a window seat, and cushion it in derk ret. Have a low p'atierm, sbont North Pel bam, July 24, 1880, and his testimony suppo ethers who have experience: the wenderfally. etrating erviline--the 2 erviline ia just a to take as te) ruben antl is phe best remedy in the N is acid by dealers Mand--Chelly Smoothiip hasn't mach of ® meustache, it is truce, buc you ought net to abuse ib. Marie--Neneenac. How did I ever abuse his meustache 7 Mand--He teld me the other day that yeu called it down. Hopeless. Physician (severely)--I have no heaitatien is saying, sir, that year wife's nerveus fits ned by your staying ont so late deooter, I from an incurable divease. An. English lady cured herself of somnam- buliem, afver trying every kaown remetly in ing vain, by sewing up her night drcsa at the bo at the sleeves. tom avd rieg 4 reists on 2 Guerantec. ack or Chest ahitob's F -- will give great satista sztisfaction,--a$ ILOH S/AS&CATARRA | iss -REMEDY. Pep. arson ? Brion tts DE ton te THE WONDER OF THE ACE' | vou wu SEVER 00 WHTNONTIT AFTER >It makes your Hands Soft & White Eby thy appearance to the ekin. Eby's Electric Salve » Old Sores, Serafulous Ulcers, fore Has no equal f ne waking mals Rheux Cares Consn ghreat. Seid Lalla Lome Sie. lt te i i el de nee. Diseases, Pim 7 pped Oorns. Burns, Piles +B Ou Ask your Eby's El¢e- > tric Salve. oo 25c. per Box --- ">. A. A» > i <4 Hams, Bacon, Lard, Lowest to she oar , Blackwell & Co. Roronse, Mow ao Landing May be Made a Dalightfal ; Sourging Pines. mption, onal sistem ae ' 1 Dru eT eee - a a Tt : i ih if? il si taal ih He L f fit F It aj } E if 3 5 a bit The -reaalts however. ee is with cheuma Mentreal, "Torente,-- Hamilten, Lenten, Winnipeg, and by retail denggiats generally. How te Carry Fractions. One ef the best methois of aunasing imc" tiens in the head is te make a remark which detracts frem the dignity of » New Yerk policeman. wiceiad celebrate EBM LAMBS | rn | semkaeang meronttcanthacpantine ae PRICES, B Vont baer Clty, [ i ate! prussic acid up wo the 2,000,000) dreadfully it weuld be a} OF PURE NORWEGIAN COD 'LIVER "OIL AND 'HYPOPHOSPHITES OF LIME AND SODA, will restore a lost aati igh erm Alben's Wits. Gror ict itostratioms Ho terri Gerd §i 'for i ani push the megs eae ea ORR CSD wT ane BRIGGE 'empermnce strest, on ereate AGENTS tei 3 HERE ASSESSMENT SYSTEM. HOME LIFE "ASSOCIATION = CANADA. Head Office. Toron Pe Ln by Special Act =" the Domin- atheor teed: Gapital $100,000. Pure Life Insurance at popular rates. Agents wanted. Now Wondertal $1 AN HOUR Sone Sermatte Mall 100. 10c. as ; wanieed. Weiss taeagreen. ee ae a, fion Pariiam ed Buy a Watch Sua ITS PEER . Write for cus to ee MOWEY & Uc. TOROMSO Dan. fr pa ANYFOBA FARMS. NEAEK WIMNI- peg. Two to five dollars peracre. Why pay more! Torrens titles, Send for partic ulars or call on owner, F. PROUDFOOT, firs door north of Post Office, Winnipeg. Man. 50 ACR. Fruit Farm for Sale, ad- joining Waterdown Sta ton on G. Ty Ry., 5 miles from Hamilton. About 3,000 trees, chiefly peaches, pears antl' plums. Good hcuse, barn,etc. A snap for a EY NICHE 7 WEST TUPPER ST. BYIFFALO NS s 1 wh Lh, & che boo wa § Ss Mother Green's ime fe Reliabie TES. ¥ tila. and Always. SUBSTITt - ot snaiteri, Taney theorssazie » atte REFUSE From: al! Resarysans 8 particulars, ae cemts LBt-LANE MEDICINE CO.. Mormeaz, Cax.4 pushing man. Will be soli cheap. Address C.& F, A. POW, Hamilton, Ont. 'Ff LAMD "gs of io tue Sa Ist Pav: ; name ntetiie AT LIT IL " Babsthoar Compan?' in Minpeset.. eud for Maps and) Ciren. tare. 'They will beeeui te you Please _e this advertisment. ee of a an 'versity or College niversi A pation pecial attention 'thinking @ of ae their open after PS. Ww ugh WESLEYAN LADIES' COLLEGE AND CONSERVATORY GF MUSIC, Th yo pa ty contains ctoris, of Queen's, of Trinity. of Albert,and of most echolarly instruc ost the social and educational advantages of a city of 50,000 inha his princi at line, ph will receive Gih. (Founded "a, 'ery teacher in the BR ar jeee H is an honor h uates of the Toronto ilton, all one full time tion in Literatiire. Scieuce, Mus inf smear pe gen ee 8. T. »., LL. 2. People inthis 19th ° century are bound to Tee the 'best that can be had for the money. * GRANBY That is why Everybody Wears -RUBBERS. DR. HOWARD'S ELECTRIC . U It DER PILLS. BEANE S sat diecovers, ty the invenser of this clase Cure Weakness of Brain, Body, Nerves and caknem of Brain. Body. Nerve eis, a Solatica, Neuralgia i » boxes, Bg oe 4 am. Da, ete Reeekville Ont DAVID MORTONESONS) aA Made from ORIGINAL BESIONE - and PATTERNS. -- are Supath it in | Firitsh and Superior in Quafity uf Material and Workmanship They Excel in Baking Quali- ties and in Economy of - Fuel, an and Convenience. yx macie #0 or tite | Sasa aw Serer gl! nome ------ or email: ineny gach CUTTRISS 440. 18#