aa Wine men out of ten, say the doc- # never learn how to take care "hands in winter. It is not coal heaver that never has tlean hands from Nevember y, but almost any man who active outdoor exercise using ands without gloves. gloves frequently changed ot keep some hands clean, and air of old gloves will soil hands at have been seven times washed with soap and brush. Every man who cuts wood, who handles tools, who does anything more active and laborious than paring his nails finds it hard to keep his hands really clean in winter. Soap makers have tried for cen- turies to find the right combination ! for cleansing and softening the hands without rendering them too | tender for active use in the open gloves that he has used every dey for twe or three weeks and he will find argument en augh for the i Gloves a menth old are apt and even the idler's gloves would often sheck him if he knew the in- side of the finger ends as well as the outside. 4 A DUEL IN THE RAIN. Seconds Kept Pistols SheHered Un- der Umbrellas. A duel with pistols--and umbre!- las--took place recently at Paris in the pouring rain at the Pare des Princes between M. -Henry Bern- stein, the well knewn playwright, and M. Francis Chevassu, drama- tie critic of The Figaro. It rained so hard that the seconds found it necessary to load the pis- tols under umbrellas, and they walked about examining the ground with umbrellas up and _ trousers tucked well above their ankles. Um- brellas, 'too, were used to measure off the distance by sticking the | points into the sedden grass. When for a moment one of the combatants, M. Bernstein, 1 air. Many a man's toilet table hhows how hard he has tried to find the right lotion for chapped hands, which is really another term for soiled hands. Dozens of such | lotions have been invented, anl some of them are effective, nearly all.are expensive ,and most of them do not meet the __ LES, Fac d ' in good condition. MEAL OF SOME Nothing better, simpler, or cheap- er has been discovered for the win- ter care of masculine hands than the old country habit of using meal { somekind when the hands are washed. QOat meal is good but re- _ latively expensive. Cern meal if e coarse kind is much cheaper and perhaps better. » Corn meal. plus a little fine toilet soap will thoreughly cleanse and heal the hands in half a dozen washings provided some simple oil or ointment like vaseline is rubbed in and then wiped off. After such treatment for three or four nights the hands usually heal. If they do not then a few drops of lemon juice rubbed on at night will sometimes finish the healing process. The lemon juice corrects the alkaline condition which is often the seeret of chapped hands. After preaching the virtues foap and water for generations the KIND. dcctors are beginning to say that'| the use of soap may be easily over- done, and many men find that the way to keep their hands in good|' Byidition is to wash them with meal | ead of with soap. Some men bn entirely without soap for nds, but that happy state is ~ willy attained and is usually 'ached by way of the combina- SOAP, MEAL AND OIL. iWhen the hands have once been brought into thoroughly good con- ' dition by the use of this combina- _ tion the soap may be dropped or used only at rare intervals and the meal made to do the work. Most soaps in their zeal for clean- liness burrow deeper and deeper in- 'to the hands until they become 'racked and sore. The deeper the cracks the more frequent the neces- sity for soap and the harder the cleansing process. Meal accomplishes echanically and perhaps without any chemical action what soap does mainly by means of the latter. _ Only a small part of the natural ofl of the skin is removed by the mal! and no deep channels are bur- rowed in the hands, Meal, by the way, must be used with care to revent clogging the plumbing ie 'wash basin. Hot water may be necessary for a time for those who wash without | soap, but after a while the hands may be kept clean most of the time by 'the use of meal and cold water. Tt is cold water that hardens the ands and enables them to resist | the effects of cold air. If hot water is used it should be at night, when the hands to have a long exemption from ex ' ite, to cold air. That also is the ! oY applying oil \ ascline emon juice to chapped hands -VASELINE RUBBED IN. hile the hands still d wet from the hot 4 meal the vaselin should ibbed in and the hands or several minutes ia vater. Then "ws e process yashing should inoved with aot paper unless you 1 afford to grease the man should go to bed. ay next morning the hands shoul d by shed in cold water with a littl are or are warm use of 1 rewasneu more of ' "*h 1 e such treatment does bring the hand s of the man who ally takes active open air ex- | nto good condition he pect that the water he uses is chard or that there is » conditi on vg his s attentic @ men find it a nds to &° A abhi rut long and teh men are lot. only very of fine texture | Sy have learned 1 ap. Bare har al sight on the win f and the hands bi to such a that any kiod never {3 beyond sre surface of the ae EB doctors are saying now th ut jin in good saedion is largely nsing or that it needs at "mechanical aid of such pd water afford. may systenl Ivwantagweous to gloves apt clean hands yrovided use are ter f ily be ids may ea: ; condition but | needs of | those who wish to keep idle hands | of | of | | { _{and ¢ sight |) | / ! water | } be | } hots. ; ' ,. = Phis exit nulsion made in! he towels ane | a general! , wa | from the shock all | closed lhis umbrella and walked about in ithe rain, Professor Pozzi, the emin- lent surgeon, who was assisting him, was afraid his potertial patient | might catch cold and strongly ad- vised him to hoist the umbrella again and not to run more risks than were necessary. Presently, a distance of thirty thirty paces 3 having been measured out the principals closed their um- brellas and took up positions. On the word being given, M. Che vassu fired, his shot passing over M. Bernstein's head. M. Bernstein, inatead of firing, placed the pistol behind his back. His weapon was then taken from him by one of his s'conds and discharged. On being asked why he did not fire, M. Bernstein shrugs red shoulders and replied, "I forgot. The duel arose out of the critic- ism written by M. Chevassu of M. Bernstein's play, "La Griffe.' M. which M. He M. the satrical paper C omedia, Bernstein considered offensive. therefore sent his seconds to Bernstein, and after two jn iterviews the duel was decided upon. ee LACE-MAKING IN IRELAND. yuomfoldmg BIGVIPOrd Home. Qo Keeps Girls at of the people Cavan, In 1905 some lo ootehill, county | view to providing pleasant and pro- fitable employment for some of the girls of the district. A competent teacher was secured, and suc cessful has been the little industry that the amount realized by the sale of the work during the past four and a half years has amount ed to $17,325. so at heme in profitable empioyment who would otherwise have emigrat el to America. The demand for a Trish hand-made lace go great, it has been mere' by more than one manager of a lace depot, that good class of is be executed in twelve months. girls have shown a remarkable adaptability if acquiring the beauti- ful art. Multiply the Cootehill score or two and some idea is gain ed of how local industries are springing up in the Emerald Isle. Case ¥, ea "ee BREAD-BAKING. ELECTRIC Ble: | been not spread very | because of the | procuring rary ovens have but their us¢ rapidly, cost, the difficult, the requisite current. |In the' little Swiss town of Kerns, iwhere electric power cheap, the jclestric baking-ovens has just been ablished in a satisfactory man ner. In a furnace less than fect San 100 of bread, loa of and three pt baked at one can be of the sane one cent a . bread. "tric availabl | or lof i 1s pounds one be bakings The more can time made 12 hours. cos is a little three-quarters per pouna TOOK HIS BREATH vkin of head took him "T have game, you time with A dapper frora little the d hionable hotel stepped up to him, and said. little the dinner as mis roon man Ww inink wha tthe Wi riter by th« habied arm, to your This had your paying. ' exclaimed the from the » official mista fourth 4 here is you 've { re useal, \ ( ul Usir, breaking grasp, and looki ly in the face, "you Tt is the fifteenth |"? Before the waiter had he man was i little MRT, waiters stern loose ng the are next street: WHY Hi'S for loc king says the Philos fellow I O¥ recovered -- fr "but-a KQUAL OCCASION. "T fear I "Never marked square TO am not worthy of you."' mind about -that," . re- the young' lady with the jaw. "Between mother VWI ean effect | imagine we aol a do os il "in the way he : s- a, great deal dirtier inside than sie | side if the user takes any exercise -- more violent than.an ordinary stroll | srnstein wrote a reply to it in the} of | Ireland, | started a lace-making class with a! One hundred girls have been kept} there are orders booked that cannot | The / occupation of lace-making is clean, | healthy and not laborious, and Irish by a} probably | | . { e1gnt | in | pounds | in | heating | nd | a ---Cun't give you an order. grouchy Young Pri / } os ene a wie FE SUPPRESSED. 2 Story That Won a Prize and Yet Was Never Published. A number of years ago a series of prizes for the best detective story was offered by a certain wel! known western newspaper, und the late ¥. R. Burton, in collaboration with a fellow craftsman, entered the competition. , Wheir story, the theme of which in | xe | volved an ingenious method of reb- | mathematics, in spite. of their ob- jections toe the study. Princess Mary is fond of fishing and of all sorts al out-deor-amusements. A few years age she was a decided tem- boy, and her taste for adventure on land and water often made her lead her admiring brethers inte situa- | tions from which they were eaxtri- cated with some difficulty by their | attendants. | bing a safe in spite of the protection | afforded by a time lock, was one of the | five which won prizes, and the authors' 'portraits were duly published in the | issue of. the paper which anpounced | The -- prize money, constituting a considera- | the result of the competition. ble sum, was promptly paid over, but to the anthor's surprise, although the other four winning stories were pub- lished, that of the time loek failed to appear. After a few weeks a repre- seutative of the paper called upon Mr. Burton, explaining that the editor was anxious to know what authority he had for his story and whetber it would really be possible to rob a bank after the fashion that he had set forth. With the help of a pencil and a few diagrams Mr. Burton easily proved the accuracy of the method to the ap- parent satisfaction of his interviewer and thereafter looked forward to a prompt appearance of the story. But a few days later the secret of the de- lay was revealed. A special envoy of the paper waited upon him, full of consternation and apology, and pre- pared to make any amends within rea- son, but was emphatic in announcing that it was absolutely impossible to publish the story, because after ex- pert investigation they had become convinced thut if it should appear in print it would destroy the protective power of every time flock safe in the country, and the representative of the newspaper did not take his leave tn- til he had obtained what Mr. Burton under the circumstances easily grant- ed--a signed agreement reteasing the paper from its obligation to publish the story end solemnly pledging him- self not to attempt to publish it else- where. Aceordingiy the curiosity | piqued by this bit of inside history is likely never to be sige nea ease HE BOUGHT IN 1 PARIS. | Then He Found He Could Have Done / Better Nearer Home. Enrico Caruso, the famous tenor, | told a curious story once while in | conversation with a man prominent in musical circles in Philadelphia. The two were ascending the stairs from | the basement of the Believue-Strat- ford when at the first landing they halted, and Caruso pointed to a mar- ble bench of ancient Florentine pat- tern, "] am a great admirer of those | benches," be said, "and last summer I had a strange experience with them. L had just purchased a villa in Italy and was always on the lookout for some- thing decorative in the way of novel furniture. "While in Paris 1 happened to see one of these benches and at once con- cluded to put a dozen of them about the grounds. 1 found the dealer and asked the price. He said $50 apiece. I ordered the dozen. "A few weeks later I was at my villa looking it over and happened to discover across the hedge at the bor- der a marble yard, and there was the | marble cutter working on one of those same benches, | "I climbed the hedge, and after chat- ting with the man a few minutes. and admiring the great care be was exer- cising I asked if he usually made such benches. 'Oh, yes! he reptied. 'I make many. I have an order now for twelve of them for the great tenor Oa- ruso. He ordered them in Paris.' "When I recovered from my surprise 1 questioned him and found that he e| was really the man who supplied the | Paris dealer. 1 asked bim how much | he would make me some for, and he replied, 'I'wenty dollars apiece, siguor. "So 1 was paying $50 for the priv- jlege of buying in Paris what was be- ing made at my own door, in addition i to freight both ways and extra inci- dental expenses. Now when 1 want to buy anything for my bome I go to the nearest place first."'--Philadeipbia News. his | A Chinese Joke. There was a man in Cb'angan who |} was very fond of giving dinners, 'but the food given was atrocious. One day | a guest threw himself on his knees ip | front of this gentleman and said, "Am I net a friend of yours?" "You are, indeed," replied his host. "Then | must ask of you a favor," said the guest, "and you must grant it before I rise from my Knees." "Well, what is it?" inquired his host in astonishment. "Never to invite me to dinner any more!" cried the guest, at which the | whole party burst into a loud roar of | laughter.--North Chisa Heraid. Persistent. Shopkeeper | stocked, 'lraveler--Let show you my samples. Spare yourself the trouble. 1 can't look at them. Trraveler--Then will you allow me to Jook at them myself? It is three weeks since I have seen them --London Penny Pictorial. me English Cigars. "Do cigars ever contain rope?" |. "No, 'That's just a pleasantry of the | fokemakers. As a matter of fact, hemp is too expensive to put in the | ¢heaper brands of cigars."--London Mail The eruptions crease the fertility of the ground ip the vicinity. HEeSS With Endowed Excellent Brains. Pricess Mary of future will have a rooms of her in Wales, who in little suite of at Marlborough thirteenth' year. own house, is her | She is tall and strong for a girl of oe age, and is endowed with ex- ent bre She is. now to have ie goveracs Ses, © but her educa-- tion will, it is said, not be so stren- | uous as that of her aunts, 'daugh- tere of the king and gueen of Hing- ins (to commercial traveler) | Quite over: | at least | Shopkeeper~ | since SSS ALASKA. ' A Land of Great Resources Amazing Distances. Alaska on some near tomorrow is expected by ap official of the United States geographical survey to have a half milliev increase in population. 'She meta} and coa! mining industries should each support at least 106,000, and if a third of the land classed as arabie is now available for farming tt will furnish 20,000 homesteads, sup- porting over 10G,0U0. The tourist who travels to Glacier Bay, the capitai of Juneau, and the picturesque Sitka must not suppose he has seen Alaska. He could skirt another 5,000 miles of coast tine to Cordova, Vaides and Seward, and then, writes 4 correspond. ent of the San Francisco Chronicle, if he would see Alaska his jonmey is only well begun. For the =e gold fields of Fairbanks would be 400 niles to the north, and! those of Nome would be as distant as New York is from Chicago. It would be a still grenter distance to the sea! rookeries of the Pribiiot istands and the great tupdras of the north, with their berds of wild rein- deer and their tonely M&skimo igtoos, while to reach the westernmost Aleu tian isiand would require a journey half as long as that from New York to Seattie, Shoald the tourist retrace bis steps to Skagway, cross the White pass and follow the mighty Yukon for 2,000 mites to Bering Alaska, while much enlarged, | Still be incomplete. A DREAM STORY. The Jeweled Rina 3a Wiceiai Saw Twice In Her Sleep. In November, 1893, I awoke one morning fully impressed with the ides that 1 was receiving as 2 gift an un- usually large gypsy ring set with a sin- gie sapphire witb a brillant on eacb side. Lhe dream was a pleasant one to the female mind, and [I soon feli asleep again, but only to awake with a still stronger impression that the jewel was actually in my hauds. Securions were my sensations that op my maid entering my room at 8 o'clock I toid ber of the two dreams, most minutely describing the ring. and t also asked my husband to bear witness to the statement should anything follow to confirm the dream. 'Two hours tater the postman arrived, and so great were my excitement and astonishinept at seeing a small, neatly done set (evidently a ring case) that 1 dared reely open it and decid- ed to ask my maid to do so. Before breaking the seai | asked her to repeat the description of the ring that 1 had previously given her, ane then the Ht- tle packet was opened. und the joyful exclamation followed, "Why, my lady, here it is!' 'he ring was sent to me by a friend in memory of his wife, who had died some months before, but 1 had absolutely ne idea that | should the recipient of any sourenir of her, nor did i ever see her wearing the ring in question.--London Spectator. nh pack up pa be Needed the Knife. Speaking of table etiquette, ( EK. Burd Grubb told a story about a nau who was justified in eating pie With a knife. Sinith was standing in a hotel lobby ove day, uccording to the general, talking to Jones, when the conversation turutd to a dinne!® that had been giveu ut the home of . mu- tual acquaintance humed Brown. "You should have Barton," re- marked Jones, referring to ane of che guests. "Ll thougnt he had better ta- bie mi: \When Dis ple Was served he actualy > at with his snife." "1 don't Disme hun for the starting repiy ot Smith, "You dort plame nim?' Jones ip amazement "NO." simuimgiy joined Smith, eaten ple at Browns myseil. and it is a wonder fe ine That Burton ab ea Gol cv oahu The Women With the see, With a transter ticket punched to yeneral seen repeated u delegruon, _ expire at 12 o'viock an eideriy woman | | ples got op 4 car. ") can't take this, conductor. "You | 12, but bow it's ten minutes ot 2. | tickets been deud tor neurly | hours," ~ | "well" wus the woman's reply, took the first car 4 coulnm get fearing the bank. &@ haa have my interest ngured up." "at It took 'em twe nours te figure the interest op ny Money 1 wouldn't argue abovt a transfer. I'd pay my fare or ride in an auto," said the con- ductor, he woman made no retort, but fished a nickei oul of ber band bag and gave it to the condnctor.--New York Press. lady,' said the See, 'Nhe two "y Happy Thought. Mrs. Newed--tiow aoes the | just mgbt, | rather plebeian, of Vesuvius greatly in. | fast suit you, daring? sweetheart. It imnay cnif's liver. Gearest, awiully tond of Newed--So am ft, 'Then we couid have caif's iiver every morbing for breakfast.--Chicago News. Not That Kind, QObarlie came to the doctor's office in a state of great excitement and said: "Please, doctor, come right straight down to see Breddy. Mother says he's wreathed in agony."'--Delineator, The Responsible Party. Visiting Relative--How aristocratic your father looks with all that gray hair! "he Naughty Son--Yes, and he's. got me to thank for at fon Rutk. Jian, who:had to go in seriously for F and of | sen his knowledge of | would | Picked Up by the Sharp Chap Who Bet that," was. "I bave : didn't take ws marked for , factory, , thing toe up to whep you are man- after } to wait to | break- | Newed--tv's | be | out just the same i'm | Mrs. | Don't you | think it would pay us to Keep a calf? | Possession may s Jaw, hut self INSTINCT AND REASON. An intatting 'itasiossion of the Twe Traits of Monkeye. Ap illustration showing the differ- ence between instinet and reason in | monkeys came under the observation of David Starr Jordan, the famous | naturalist. At one time be had two Hyely Macacus and Jocko. '"bese were nut aud fruit eating monkeys and instinctively knew | just bow to crack nuts and peel fruits. At the same time be bad a baby imon- key, Mono, of a kind that had the egg: eating instinct. But Mono had berer Yet seen an egg. , To each of the three monkeys Dr. | Jordan gave an egg, the first that any | of them bad ever seen. Baby Mono, descended from egg eating ancestors, handled his egg with all the inberited expertness of a long developed in- stinct. He cracked it with his upper teeth, making a hole in it, and sucked ont all its substance. Then, holding the eggshell np to the light and see- ing there was no longer anything. in it, he threw it away. All this be did mechanically, automatically and just as well with the first egg as with any other be afterward bad. And ali eggs since given him he has treated in the same way. The menkey Bob took his egg for some kind of nut. He broke it with his teeth and tried te pull off the shell. When the inside ran out and feli on the ground he icoked at it for a mo- ment in bewilderment, then with both hands scooped up the yolk and the sand mixed with it and swallowed it. Then he stuffed the shell into his mouth. his act was not instinct; it was reason. He was not familiar by inherited instinct with eggs. He would handle one better next time, however. Reason very often makes mistakes at first, but when it is trained it becomes a means far more valuable and power- ful than inetinct. The third monkey, Jocko, tried to eat his egg in much the same way that Bob did; but, not liking the taste, he threw it away.--St. Nicholas. EASY MONEY. on a Word. Just by way of showing bow easy it is for some men to pick up a few dol- lars by their wits a yenng fellow strolled into a cafe the other after- noon and, joining in conversation that was being carried on by convivial spirits, declared be was the most "'in- fortunate' individual on earth. He immediately began telling a story of his personal troubles, but before he had got the narrative well under way there was a chorus of interruptions, and the talkative young man was po- litely informed that bis English need- ed revising. since be shouid hare et the word "unfortunate" iustead of * fortunate." The newcomer insisted that infortu- pate was the correct word to vse, and the argument waxed warm. Finally, with a sbow of heat, the young man who started the trouble declared that while he bad only a few dollars he would wager rect. So anxious were his friends to lay wagers with him that be did not bare money epough to meet all the mands, but he succeeded in putting 0; $15 in separate smail bets. The me: who were certain that the garrulous young man was wrong in the use ol the word infortunate sent out for a dictionary only to find that they had been "stung" on a "sure thing" bet, the big book on spelling showing that infortunate is perfectly proper and means unfortunate. "Yes," said the winner of the bets as he pocketed his new portion of wealth, "Il bave won money oo that before. I coliected $10 this afternoon op a similar wager.' -- Philadelphia Record. Flying Fishes. A dazzling silvery splendor per- vades the surface of the body of the best known species of the flying fish. The summit of its head, its back and its sides are of azure blue. 'This blue becomes spotied upon the dorsal fin, the pectora! fin and the tail. bis fish is the common prey of the sea birds and the more voracious fishes, such as the shark. Its enemies abound tn air and water. If it succeeds in es- caping the Charybdis of the water the chances are in favor of its meeting its fate in the Seylla of the atmosphere. If it escapes the jaws df the sbark it will probably falf to the share of the seagull. Too Honest. Woggs--Young Smith has failed in business again. I'm sorry for the boy, but too close adherence to high prine- ruined him. Boggs -- How so? Woggs--He advertise'. "Our product is thoroughly tested before it leaves the which is a very hard ufacturing dyvamite.--Puck. Quite at Home. Bacon--Aud did you feel at home | traveling in Russia? Hgbert--Oh, quite ; at home. | out the stations I couldn't understand | When the brakemen called them ay better than I can oyer here | --Yonkers Statesman. Thousand Dollar Illustration Income, $1,000; expenditure, $999.98 | ~happiness, Income, $1,000; expenditure, $1,000. ~--misery. Income, $1,000; gay time.--Puck. expenditure, $1,500- Poor Living. | Brown--There goes old Dau- | living on his. reputation. | cer he looks so thin. | Madder ber, He's Maulstick--No won --lHilustrated Bits, But Did She? "My head aches awfully," she sigh- ed. "Tf you weren't here I'd take 1m; hair off and rest it." "What?" he cried. "T mean dow n,"' she corrected.--New ovk Presa, menkeys calied Bob | them that be was cos™@for them on the flat shell, \ ; | was right. | clothes are NOT BURIED AT SEA. The Humane French Beatman and the Dead Englishman. A long expected French lugger was | geen making for the roadstead, and 'the Lowestoft free traders were on 'the alert, anxiously seeking an oppor- _ tunity for communicating with her ger and rowed toward the shore. A coffin. The French boatmen had a mourn- ful tale to tell. On board the lugger bad been an Knglishman suffering from an itiness which soon proved fa- tal. In bis last moments of consclous- ness he had begged the captain not to bury him at sea, but to keep his body until a resting place could be found for it under the green turf of a chureh- yard in his native land. Sympathy with his sad fate and the knowledge that the lugger was not far from the English coast had induced the captain to consent, and now he had sent the body ashore for burial. In spite of his broken English the Frenchmen's spokesman told his tale well. Both excise mep and beach men-- especially the latter--loudJy expressed their admiration of the captain's con- duct. A parson was summoued, and in a ttle while a mournful procession made its way from the beach to the churchyard. Kven the chief officer of the excise men was present and is said to have shed tears. That night the local "resurrection- ists' were busy, and at dawn the eburchyard contained a desecrated grave. A little way inland, bowever, in the midst of the marshes, a smug- glers' store received theaddition of a eofiin filled with silks and iace.-- "Highways and Byways In Kast An- glia," by W. A. Dutt. ON THE FLAT SHELL | Oysters Opened That Way With a Pur- pose, the Waiter Said. The waiter had taken a long time in getting the oysters, but as he was well known to his guests and his guests to him that occasioned no comment. When the oysters were brought the waiter set them down before his cus- tomer and asked: "Do you like them better that way?" | The diner looked, but he didn't no-/ ness he went on uptown and bought tice any difference, so he asked, 'What way?' "Why, on the flat shell," replied the waiter. "Don't you see they aren't on the curved part 01 the shell, as usual?" "IT see it now that you tell me about it," said the diner, 'but I don't exact- ly get the significance." "Well, you see," said the waiter, "they always keep them upstairs on the round shell, and when any one calls for oysters if they do come on the round shell it isn't a certainty that they have been opened fresh. Some- times. they aren't good, just because they have been standing. When } call as I do for » some of my customers, then they have to open them specially for that order. In that way you get them fresh." , I see!" 'ked the diner. Bat when the professional cynic about eybie said, some thing about r that they i them standing opet ned in both way: "Besides, any one knows they lost fatter on the fiat shell, which is all the more reason they'd be likely to serve them to some folks that way. If they asked for extra large oysters they'd get them on the flat shell. the same oysters on the curved shell would go as ordinary sized oysters," remark- ed the cynic gloomily.--New York Sun. "AD rem he tgld The Humble Librettist. In the history of opera there are many curious anomalies, but perhaps the strangest is the role played by the 'brettist. for the most part obscure and unimportant and generally unre- membered, his ranks bare neverthe- less been recruited trom the ablest and most brilliant men of letters. Among those who have undertaken the part are such unltkely names as Voltaire, Goethe, Wieland, Addison and Mield- ing, while eregot considerable poet- ic talent, as, tor example, Metastasto, Calzabigi, Rinuccini, Bolto and Cop- pee, have tried their baud at libretto writing with assurance, giving to it thelr best efforts. And yet the suc- cessful Hbrettists are few~--the merest bandtul out of a barvest of three cen- turies-- Forum. How Sunshine Beats Down, It is a common thing on bot days to bear people say that "the sun beats down." But few suspect that the rays of light actually do beat down upon the surface they strike. Light is a wave motion in the ether, and waves, wheth- er of sound or water, press on bodies | in thelr way. Clerk Maxwell calculated | the pressure of light, and experiments | of Herr Lebedew have shown tbat be 'the pressure Is very sight, as may but it really ex- ists. be supposed, Worse Yet. Mamma--Johnny, you you've been fighting again! Your badly torn tbat I probably have to get you x new sult Johnny--That\. * 'thing, mamma. You just ought to Se tommy Jones. I'l bet bis mamma will hare to get a pew boy.--Chicago News. bad boy, 80 Jacobi hism. "I do vot ku ent generation by sight," wrote pole in. 1791, complaining that the young men "ip their dirty shirts and shaggy hair have leveled nobility much as the nobility in rance bave." Unfair, Hazel, aged seven, while feeding the ow the pres- Corrected. Mr. Struckoli--Tbat there sculptor feller gle he's goin' to make a busi | e. Mrs, Struckoil--Henry, it's | Siphied the way you talk. Say | est not nan gs Bec: | Br Ake a pest, Led eat at the dinner table was reproved by her father, who told her eat must wait until later, | she is a poor dumb animal to treat her a a 8 aegis crew, While they waited for a lapse : of vigilance on the part of the excise | WEALTH THRUST UPON HIM, men a boat was lowered from the lug- | curious crowd of beach men and ex--- bes Vigtee: Wink Caer ee Bes tre Hae cise men assembled to meet her, and | / as sbe came in on the crest of a roller | it was observed that she contained a . Wal- |- in as) that the: Whereupon | . the small. girl awept: 'and said: haa oe ae "1 think it is a shame just because. STROKE OF FORTUNE The Bit of Good Luck That Over- took Barney O'Connor. ee Who Had Been Injured--The Sight That Greeted Him and the Hasty Proposition He Handed Out. Several years ago two brothers named McDonald were in business in Halsted street. Among the habitues of their establishment was a map named O'Connor. A man named An- derson then was claim agent for the street railway company that connected Baisted with Obicago. Barney O'Connor was a happy-ge- lucky chap who didn't worry much about anything. He was partial to his beer, bad no kith or kin to he re- sponsible for, cared little for clothes and worked only when it was abso- lutely essential, which wasn't often. McDonald Bros. liked to have Bar- ney around on account of the wit he bad brought with him from the ould sod, and so they found Httle tasks for bim to do. One day Barney was loaf- ing around McDonald's about haif tl- juminated and in an extremely rosy frame of mind when they decided they wanted some goods over in the city. Barney was deleguted to go after them. He stopped at the corner buffet, hoisted another one and took a car for the loop. The car was crowded fore and aft, and Barney got on the aft. He didn't get much more than halfway on 'pe step when there came a jolt. 'he crowd surged back on Barney, and he, witb several others, was dumped Into the street. Barney suffered worse than the rest, as he was underneath, But he wasn't burt badly. He was knock- ed unconscious, but after they carried him into a store and threw cold water on him he came out of it in good shape. Ali that remained were a few cuts. The conductor, however, was ex- eited. He was new at the business, and when he took the names and ad- dresses of the victims of the crash he got considerably balled up. Perbaps be made Barney's injuries a little tore grave than they really were, After O'Connor got over bis dixzi- bis stuff for the McDonalds. He also visited a drinking place on Randolph street. It was there that he learned of a clam bake that was to be held that night at a saloon on lower Hal- sted. Celebrations of this sort ap- pealed to Barney, and he resolved to be on band. Be was. They had a lovely time. 'Along about 12 o'clock the festivities became superjoyous, and arguments arose. Barney was in the midst of these. fFisticuffs followed forensic froth, and O'Connor was numbered among tbe slain. How be got to his room be couldn't explain coberently. He sure was some beat up. What they didn't do to him wouldn't take long to tel! it was the completest walloping ho érer bau experic anced slept When he woke up he ~d né sina hare slept tater. He found ealrable after an at teimpt or two at it, so be stayed in bed. About 2 o'clock in the afternoon the landlord of the rooming house came up and told Barney a man wanted to see him. Seldom had Barney bad visitors, and his curiosity was aroused, But it wasn't strong enough to induce him to get up. He told the landlord to have the man sent up to the room. Anderson, out to settle early and avoid the rush, came in and took a look at Barney. He nearly fainted. "It I get out of this on less than $1,- 000 I'l be Incky,"' he told himself, Then he proceeded to business. "It kind o' bunged you up, didn't it?' he began as a feeler. He couldn't say less, for be had a conscience. "Well, some," acknowledged Barney, not grasping the pertinence of the question, but realizing its truth, "You know, a suit always involves a lot of delay and trouble, and the company bas better facilities, :nd its better for the plaintiff to settie'---~ "Wot are yez talkin' about?' Barney broke in, "Why, I'm from the street railway, and we want to see if we can't tix this up for you for getting hurt. We want to do what's right; but, of course, you understand" -- Barney saw a great light. him forget bis woes. "Do yez mean ye want to pay me fer fallin' off the car yistiddy?" he asked, "That's the idea," answered Ander- gon, "Well, bere I am," said Barney. "How much.am I offered?" Anderson hesitated, "Uh-er--1 think--er----how"d two fifty etrixe you?" '"y think it's worth at least five," he replied. "Now, Jook bere," explained Ander- son, "If you fight this ease it'll cost you at Jeast $100 for a lawyer, You might get $800 Ip a trial, and stil! again you might get nothing, It's al ways a good dea' "p' yez menn ye'll give me $2507" interrupted O'Connor, sitting up guick- Iy despite his aches, "Phat's it." replied Anderson, so fus- einated by the picture of war's borrors portrayed by Barney's face Wat he tulled to totice the surprise tp bly tanes, MEN: Tf urry ate. moving und It made O'Connor In Pe me atl in quar Ine, vke° tt,' said "Aring i Chicago iri to ved hever y beile the sot si of wit, 'e joke in his life, He was actor and grave tn-imanner as > become the butt of other people's hilarity, When any witticism went the round Miller. was accused of its guthorship, and he would never deny it.. He lived an exemplary ife and died universally' respected, But no sooner was he dead than apperred "Joe Miller's Jests; or, The Wits' Vade > Mecum,": compiled by "iijah J sivins, ea --thht is tos repeated aw eon SO fore Hobson' 8 Wi ve ; Ben Johoson's "Jests' had been forged.