ELT Lis FOODS WAY BE MEIC IF WE ONLY KNEW HOW TO USE THEM. =e Bome Fseasriptions Which May be Found Quite Pleasant to Take. There may be both value and nov- elty in tue idea of eating ham, chickex wings, bread and _ butter and fish instead of swallowing nasty medicine when you are feeling out of sorts. The idea comes from Pro- fessor BP. X. Gouraud, formerly chief of the laboratory of the medi- cine faculty, Paris, who has been making a most interesting study of the medicinal value of various ar- ticles of everyday food. Suppose, for instance you are troubled with heart disease or rheu- matism or something is the matter with the circulatory system, the kidneys, liver or nervous system, Dr. Gauraud says you should not eat butcher meat, but you can eat ham. Because it is finer and short- er in fibre, ham is easier to digest than butcher's meat. We are told, too, that ham forms a valuable food-medicine in cases of dyspep- tia. He urges upon all those who suffer from dyspepsia to avoid the juicy red beefsteak for lunch and order a nice slice of well-roasted or broiled ham instead. For tuberculosis patients, and, in fact, for everybody affected even in the slightest degree by lung troub- les, the French scientists prescribes eggs, particularly the yolks, not only as a food, but as a medicine. He says that the yolk of a fresh egg has a distinctive deterrent effect on the growth of the tubercle bacilli in the human system. Six eggs per day is considered ample to serve as BOTH FOOD AND MEDICINE. For the invalid who may not care for fresh eggs served in the ordin- ary way--inat is, boiled, poached or raw--the following receipt is re- commended : Beat up the yolks of two eggs with one ounce of powdered sugar until the mixture whitens; add a glass of hot water, stir briskly, and then add one or two teaspoonfuls of good brandy. Drink as hot as possible. For people of rheumatic tenden- cies two soft-boiled eggs with bread and butter are recommended as making up about one sixth of the average daily allowance of food gzuch persons should allow them- selves. The addition of hot butter in preparing fried eggs, scrambled eggs and buttered eggs, is demned because the butter detracts from the digestibility of the eggs. Dr. Gourand failed to find any medicinal value in the fancy ome- let. He says that unless you have very strong digestive organs you will be wise to avoid meat and ba- con omelets and the "omelet au rom." The use the digestion can make of eggs depends largely on their meth- |. od of preparation, The raw egg is most nourishing, but not everybody San Cat raw eggs. Beef, we are informed, has an undeservedly high repute as food. "'It's sole merit from the aliment- ary viewpoint," says Dr. Gouraud, 'ean only be that it supplies with- in a small compass a comparative- ly large amount of assimilable ni- trogen. "Tt has assumed an exaggerated importance on the table of the wealthy. Heavy meat eaters at first experience a sensation of comfort, but soon begin to feel uneasy and sluggish with a craving for more-- : @.; RENEWED STIMULATION. Meat has no staying power and leads to overeating and gluttony." The mental worker needs _ little meat according to Dr. Gouraud. 'How often," he says, "do not writ- ers after a heavy meal, especially if it consists largely of animal food, complain of that sluggish drowsy feeling which renders them incap- able of accomplishing anything? At the congress for food and hy- giene Di Fleury insisted that meat is not an ailment fit for the mind und that its use does more harm than good." For all weak persons, convales- cents, those suffering from nervous depression and all who have to re- pair previous losses of any kind, he says a moderate supply of meat is beneficial, but the average man in good health can get along better 'on a diet in which butcher's meat plays only a Small part. As to poultry, the tendency of dietists nowadays is to give prefer- |" ence to. the red over the white meats. 'The greater digestibility of poultry is its chief advantage over butcher's meat. "A convalescent or a neuras- thenic with an enfeebled stomach ¢an eat with much more comfort and less risk the wing of a chick- en than a piece of beefsteak. Red atneat, on the other hand, is more nourishing and contains more iron. Fish, Dr. Gourand strongly re- commends as a proteid food for gen- eral consumption. It gives | the same satisfaction as meat, allows the same utilization of forces by fhe laborer, the sportsmen, the sol- lier, as well as by those who lead A SEDENTARY LIFE. . "Noting can explain the pre- 'it contains less water. con- | ainst this article of food. sh is a little less stimulating in quality nought but good can come of its use to the system."' Bread, because it is nearly all absorbed by the system, has a high | nutritive value, ranking after peas, fentils and cheese, but before meat and potatoes. The crust is more nourishing than the crumb because For this reason the oblong loaf is the best, because it represents a larger amount of crust. Considering the relative food values of pure white and more wholesome bread, Dr. Gouraud finds two great disadvantages in the former. First--it is not sufficiently stimu- lating to the digestive tract in par- Leslee nor to the system in gener- al. The second great defect of white bread, he says, is that it is poorly mineralized and is insufficiently phosphorated. This is largely due to modern methods of milling, alt the coverings of the berry being discarded to obtain white flour. "The bran which we so ingen- iously separate from the flour car- mineral constituents of the grain, i.e, phosphorus, magnesium, etc."? GREEN VEGETABLES, while of low nutriment, are es- 'sential foodstuffs for our daily diet on account of their abundant sup- ply of mineral salts. One fifth of our daily mineral rations should come from fresh vegetables. While the nutriment to be de- rived from coffee, and tea is very low indeed, they are useful as stimulants, and will assist the body excercises. This power of increased produc- tion, however, is only obtained by 'a temporary abuse of tne physical forces, and is followed by extra podily fatigues and increased ex- penditures of nerve force, which must be compensated for by a cor- responding amount of sleep. While coffee is being used per- haps too freely throughout the civ- ilized world, the steady increase in tea drinking, Dr. Gouraud thinks, acts for the general welfare of the | people. Afternoon constitutes a useful repast, as it offers a welcome stim- ulant in the fatigue of the daily routine. If a small pat of butter or the yolk of an egg be added it be- comes a nutriment. Cocoa and chocolate, besides be- ing valuable stimulants, possess a real nutritive value. 'The feeling of comfort produced by a cup of eocoa or chocolate is explained as ' | flavor of cocoa, sustained by 'completed by the nutritive element of the food." Se BRIDEGROOM 92, BRIDE 25. the Oldest Clown in Marriage of : England. Age and youth were united at Brighton recently, when James W. Doughty, aged 92, the oldest clown in England, married Miss Alice Un- derwood, a pretty girl of twenty- five summers. Romantie circumstances led up to the wedding. Early in the year Mr. Doughty's first wife died, leaving him quite alone in the world, A few weeks ago he was at a par- ty at which Miss Underwood was present, and one of the guests there 'chafiingly told him he ought to get married again. "Pooh}'? said Mr. Doughty, "T get married again? Why, no one would have an old man like me." Miss Underwood smiled at him and blushed. "You're wrong,' she said; "I would!' ae The sequel to this pretty inci- dent took place at Princeton street registry ottice, Brighton, when Miss Alice Underwood became Mrs. Doughty, to the accompaniment of numerous good wishes from her and her husband's friends and acquaint- ances and the cheers of a big crowd which assembled outside the of- fice. The young bride and the aged bridegroom entertainer drove up to- gether in a four-wheeler, and after the words that made them man and wife had been said, drove back to their ivy-covered cottage in Middle street. The brief wedding ceremony was a merry one, and when some one chaffed the bridegroom about his age he gave practical demonstra- tion that he at any rate, is only as old as he feels. "JT may be 92," he said, " but I showed them that I'm not done for yet. I ran up and down the corri- 'dor at the office several times. "J feel quite and young and fit for anything, and on my ninety- third yirthday (August 28), I mean to give a new entertainment, with my performing dogs on the West Pier here. : "My wife, who is very fond of dogs, is going to help me train %hem. We have got three at pre- 'sent, and hope to get one or two more soon. I trained one of my 'dogs, a black pug, to walk on his hind legs and turn somersaults in. 'the air in a week. i "No, we are not honeymoon."' 'Nae Mr. Doughty has been a public going away for a entertainer for seventy-five years. judice which so many people have. I ties off with it three fourths of the, I heard the tiger leap over the fal- | len tree, and, sick at heart, I re- alized that if the chase lasted much longer I should have to give up. "Greatly to my relief, however, a short distance in front of my left I saw yet another road, and A RAY OF HOPE came to me as I noticed a steep de- scent. This I entered upon like an arrow, and a minute or so later put fifty or sixty yards between my pursuer and myself. I was pretty well done for, howeyer--so much so, that at one time I felt I must fall out of the saddle. "A little farther along I looked round, but the tiger was nowhere to be seen; he had given up the chase. "Then another fearful thought struck me. Evidently I had lost my way altogether, and I reflected hopelessly upon my condition in the event of my being benighted, situ- ated as I then was, in that tiger-in- fested wilderness. "But, luckily, just when I had almost given up all hope of finding my way, a Hindu woman appeared on the road before me and, in ans- wer to my inquiries, indicated the right road."--London Tit-Bits. ' wre MINE WORKED BY MICE. Two Scotch Coal Miners Unique Novelty. Fourteen years ago two Scotch coal miners named Hugh Ferris and William Hastings set on foot STORY OF PLUCK ND AR RACE FOR LIFE BETWEEN OY- CLIST AND TRAVELLER. pao, © A French Traveller Had a Nerve- racking Adventure in : India. Of late years quite a number of attempts have been made to walk round the world. In the majority of cases he task has been undertak- en with a view to winning a wager, and the intrepid pedestrians have told many stories regarding the perils of their journeys afoot through foreign lands. It is doubt- ful, however, if any of these globe- trotters experienced such thrilling adventures as those which befel M. Henri Gilbert, who started from | Paris in 1893 on a walking tour round the world with a view to achieving a record. In China he was very nearly killed by a mob. But it was while passing hrough India that he met with his most nerve-racking adventure. He arrived at a place called Nag- poor, and explored some of the sur- rounding country in company with a scientist who was engaged in re- search work there. During the day they came to a small village, at which an English party had also arrived, one of the members of which had a bicycle with him. Gil- bert asked permission of the owner Have 'in carrying out strenuous physical | rest and! "(a nervous effect provoked by the. the tonic influence of theobromin and| a scheme which has resulted in one of the most wonderful creations ev- er seen in the British Isles. They did not spend weeks and months pouring over books and dictionar- ies, or even experimenting in a chemical laboratory with test tubes and thermometers, but -- they bought two white mice. As they trudged home in the evenings from the mine they used to look forward to feeding the animals and watch- ing their ways and habits. They kept them purely as a hobby, and gave up a lot of spare time study- ing the animals closely. They bred from these two until quite a colony of the little rodents had sprung up; and it is an interesting fact that almost every mouse in their collec- tion to-day is a descendant from the first pair. Spending, as he did, part of his day at home with pet mice and part at work in the colliery, it is not surprising that the two phases i to go for an hour or two's ride, lit being over two years since he | had mounted a machine. This was | given, and in spite of the warnings | of the scientist, who had heard that there were many tigers in the dis- trict, Gilbert sarted off. AN AWAKENING SHOCK. After riding a few miles he lay down in an open glade to rest, plac- ing his bicycle against a bush. Ul- |timately, he fell asleep, from which he was awakened ny a curious noise in the bed of a small watercourse which was directly in front of him. The story may be told in Gilbert's own words: "I lifted my head | drowsily," he says, "and looking 'towards the spot, my gaze rested iupon the fierce and wicked head |and long, lithe, striped body of an 'immense tiger. I should judge that he was about thirty yards from me. 'Whether he detected my pre- sence I cannot say, but he remain- | of life gradually became interming- ed motionless for some time. It | 1 use labslke 3 'ble for | led in Mr. Ferris' mind. At home si oe hi re y pcg hy e 10F he must have often heard, in a fig- gers " eon le. ae isc eS seeast | Urative sense, the rattle and din re ae sepals me ave si re - fast | of the colliery, and at work the twenty yards from me; an OW thoughts of his mice could hardly could I possibly reach it and make |},ye been far from his mind Tt my way to the high road without) ;. jittle wonder, then, that very pede: yard ere oes -- soon he came to associate mice with Sad ps sted ae three bounds | colliery and colliery with mice. would be upon mo? After many years of trouble, ex- DISCOVERED. pense and worry, these two Scotch- : _ |men erected with their own hands ; Bieri gs aout ce ease meses miniature colliery, the workers gas ane. pate hag ve the Sasi | being a re This first oe rs ne raise ih again ee | tion os ee a fan a at one single false movement on; any rate, did not satisly them--so my part must inevitably attract his | they:set to work to build what has notice. Following every movement! now come to be known as the of the huge monster with terrible | '"'Jungle Mouse Colliery Company, anxiety, 1 was at length relieved! Ltd,' this name being explained by to see him apparently about to re-| the fact that their exhibition had turn into the jungle whence he had been secured by the Bostoc Jungle. come; but, alas! some little bird "The mainspring" of the whole moved in the bushes around me, | structure is two large wheels. That and the effect was instantaneous. | on the left has control of parece: The tiger stopped suddenly and|at the pit-head, while all the me- wheeled round like lightning, his chanism of the coal-cutting machine great eyes fixed intently upon the} and the rest of the underground very spot where I lay. workings are set in se Se ea 'He paused for a moment, and, | wheel on the right. The whole col- then, to my indescribable horror, | liery is worked by 300 mice. The commenced to creep slowly in my} mice can either sleep or work as Sree presents: cas = = | shes piace ee ay ae phage close that was only able to dis-| can be seen to do a fair share 0 tinguish his movements by the l work. They work from 2 till 5 crackling of the leaves and twigs! and from 7 to 10 o'clock. At 5 as he crept along. I now felt that} o'clock and 10 o'clock + ore my case was quite hopeless. 'No-| spectacle can be witnessed, when thing,' I said to myself, despairing-| the miners go home from work. ly, ' can save me from a dreadful The two lots of mice troop down in- eda And gees ey aor 2 Spee pores until is the brain work in such cases--only| time to go to work again, when a mere fraction of time after these | they return to the colliery, the sec- despairing. thoughts, I conceived | tion that managed the shaft during the desperate idea of making a dash | the previous shift taking over the for the bicycle! other department, and vice versa. Sa strand. THE INEXORABLE MONSTER. bo eh "Leaping to my feet, I fairly hurled myself in the airection of the bicycle. I threw myself upon it, and with the impetus so gained began to glide saviftly along--even before my feet touched the pedals --literally racing the tiger for dear life. The very instant I got fairly under way I heard the huge beast make his first leap in my direction. The fourth leap of the tiger brought him to within about six yards of my back wheel, and although I was going as fast as a first-class bicycle can travel, a sixth leap almost brought the claws of the monster within striking distance of my back tyre. But still I pedalled away de- sperately. e "Just at this moment I saw in front of me another straight road opening before me. You may judge my terror, however, when I tell you that as soon as I had turned into this new road I beheld, lying right across my path, a huge tree that had fallen through decay. I charged the object headlong and, just before crashing into it I leapt from the machine and scrambled pas over recklessly, feeling certain that | able, for the tonnage under -- ¢an- the tiger was gaining. It goes | strueton on June 30 war a little ov- Saat. saying that I literally | er twice as much as that under con- SER enen, SHIP-BUILDING BOOM. Construction in Britain Twice as Much as the Rest of World. The United Kingdom is exper- fencing a boom in shipbuilding, the tonnage under construction at the close of the quarter ended June 30 being the highest on record. The returns, compiled by "Lloyd's Re- gister of Shipping," show that, ex- cluding warships, there were 495 vessels, of 1,476,394 tons gross, un- der construction in these islands on the date mentioned, being 62,000 tons more than the previous record total, which was reached in Septem- ber, 1901. The figures for June, 1909--745,- 000 tons--have been just about doubled in the last two years. The tonnage now under construction is about 102,000 tons more than that which was in hand at the end of last quarter, and exceeds by 358,- 000 tons the tonnage building in June, 1910. : Britain's great pre-eminence As a shipbuilding nation is still wpassail- threw myself into the saddle again | struction in all the rest iof the away from the estes mons | AEH ANS ARE si epee FUL 'TRAIN BUSINESS MEN LN THE SCHOOLROOM. A Returned Englishman Gives An Outline of the System of Education, No one will deny the fact that Germans are amongst the keenest business men in the world. And undoubtedly one of the secrets of their success lies in the fact that in German schools they teach boys the practical details of business at a time when English boys are 'kept busy over theories. The writer re- cently returned from Hamburg af- ter a year's course of education, and an outline of the system of training boys in business may be interesting, says a writer in Lon- 'don Tit-Bits. On my first days attendance I was handed a time-table on which ap- peared, set out in formidable array, such subjects as commercial cor- respondence, laws of bills of ex- thange, currency, political econ- omy, and commercial law, none of which at the time conveyed much to me, and raised serious doubts in my mind as to whether I should be able to understand and appreciate what appeared to be most abstruse subjects. IMAGINARY TRADE. At 9 a.m. sharp on the following day the course began, prefaced by a couple of hours' hard study, for the Germans are gluttons for work, and think nothing of a twelve hour day. The first course was called "Business Training." We worked in two spacious rooms furnished as offices, each room representing a different office house. These two firms carried on imaginary trade with each other, and the routine adhered to was moddled exactly on the lines of a first class business establishment. ' Each firm had a director, and these two were the most eminent students in the academy. They had subject to their management and control a complete staff of corres- pondents, shorthand writers, typ- ists, book-keepers, etc. The whole was supervised by a master, to whom reference was made in case of dispute or difficulty. AN INITIAL MISTAKE. On making my appearance I was informed that my services were in request as office-boy. I was some- what taken aback, not to say a lit- tle humiliated, by the lowly pos- ition assigned to me, and I gave the master to understand that I considered I was qualified to occu- py a much better post that that which he had chosen for me. He did not seem in the least perturbed by my remarks, but said, "You have already made a mistake--a mistake of diplomacy. One of the great maxims of business as taught here is to do what you are told, This is a business house, of which I am the head, and it is your busi- ness to follow out my orders and to conciliate me to your utmost."' With that he handed me a pile of envelopes and a long list of addres- ses, and told me to set to work ad- dressing them. I did so, but not with a very good grace, the master coming round from time to time to inspect my work. For two solid hours I plodded on until 11 a.m., when the course came to an end. Then I took the opportunity of go- ing up to the master again and ask- ing him if he did not really think I had been wasting my time in what I had been doing. ENVELOPE-ADDRESSING. "Not in the least," said he. "In everything, no matter how simple or how difficult, there is always a good deal to learn. If you have paid attention while you were work- ing you will have learnt something about the geography of the German Empire, for each address contains the name of some important town and tae province in which it is sit- uate, and the name of the firm celebrated for some particular class of goods."' This gave me food for reflection. As a matter of fact, I had not paid the least attention to what I had been writing; consequently I had failed to derive the benefit) which it was the master's intention I should obtain from what seemed to me at the outset a most senseless task. On the following day I re- solved to follow out the master's in-. structions to the letter, and I was surprised to find how interesting the work became. OFF ICE-BOY TO DIRECTOR. J continued addressing envelopes for two hours a day for a whole week, and the next week I receiy- ed promotion. In this way I went through the whole routine, from office-boy to director, and the ex- perience which I obtained in' the various capacities has proved in- valuable to me in business. As director I had to sign cheques, dictate letters, enter into agree- 'ments with the other firm with re- ference to the sale and purchase of goods, keep an eye on the money market, work out arbitrage caleula- tions, draw up and endorse bills of 'lading, make out periodical state- with frantic energy, and pedatled ' world put together. ments of affairs, allow or dispute ae ee ee Se ee ee 'amounts placed to the debit of the Pf} -erything.- : , farm, = pisses firm on account of general average || losses, and generally supervise ev- | While we were thus drilled in' practical work, the theoretical side of the business was not neg- lected. Lectures were given at fixed hours by professors on banking, currency, book-keeping, and mer- cantile iaw. Thus we enjoyed the inestimable advantage of acquiring the theory and practice of business at the same time. -- . Ba 100 dreadnoughts now THEY ARE EITHER COMPLET- ED OR BUILDING. Germany and Great Britain Share More Than Half of the Total. ; Exactly 100 ships of the Dread- nought type are now built, building or ordered for the navies of the world, says The London Chronicle. The number is spread over practi- cally the whole of the world, 13 na- tions contributing towards it. The first Dreadnought was begun in 1905. In the present year no fewer than 33 Dreadnoughts will lave been begun, although this includes three or four units whose keels may not be laid until early in 1912. The increase of the participants in the Dreadnought race has been equally striking. In 1905 we had the field to ourselves, the United States joined in the following year. Germany and Brazil entered in 1907--it is well to remember in comparing the fleets of Britain and Germany that WE HAD TWO YEARS START. In 1908 no new powers entered the field, but 1909 saw the advent of Spain, Italy and Russia. Last year France, Austria, and the Argentine Republic laid down their first ships of the new type, and in the present year Turkey and Chili have joined the Dreadnought powers. Of the 100 now built, building or to be laid down this year, Germany and ourselves share more than a half. Our own total is 30, to which may be added the two building for overseas service; while Germany takes 21, so that our advantage ov- er this one power is a bare three to two. Austria and Italy will each have four Dreadnoughts under con- struction by the end of this year, so that the total for the triple al- liance is 29--against our own 32, three of which, including the East Indies flagship, are for overseas service. In contrast to these ag- gregate figures, however, it must be noted that we have 14 Dread- noughts completed to six for Ger- many, Italy, and Austria. The United States holds third place among the Dreadnought pow- ers, with a total of 12 ships, and she is beginning to be closely press- ed by Japan, who, with an exten- sive programme of five Dread- noughts this year, has raised her total to seven. France has not yet put afloat a single all-big-gun ship. A COMPLETE LIST. The following is a complete list of the Dreadnought powers in their order of strength. In the _ table completed ships take precedence over those launched, and the latter in turn over those on the stocks :-- Complet- Launch- Build- ed. ed. *ing. Great Britain .. is) Germany... ... United States .. Brazil Not long ago a Lond for sale a million brand 'shot rifles in perfect These belonged to a ce European state, which was ing its forces, and was re rid of the obsolete weap song to anyone who them out of the country lion rifles with almost ammunition would be -- matter if they happened to the hands of revolutionari Now these rifies which can chased so cheaply in E£ worth from five to ten original price in many Asia and Africa. The- hil on the Indian frontier th highly of rifles that they their lives eréeping into frontier posts by night in steal weapons from the _ average Pathan will readily that he possesses for a mode and a small stock of amm THE ARAB TRIBES. and the nomadic tribes © are equally keen to arm and, at present, the weal most persistent customers fi tary weapons of all kinds guns as well as rifles and a tion, are the leaders of the si, the great Mohammedan -- Society, with its céntre in th of the Sahara. A Seeing the immense p selling munitions of war to or semi-savage peoples, @ adventurers are constantly ing in the game, and wars civilized powers have a li in trying to stop this form of smuggling. Just before Christmas, Russian revenue cutter cru the Black Sea sighted a larg box," or lugger, running fr oum. Something about her ¢ the skipper's suspicions, an dered her to heave to. Inste clapped on every bit of sail tried to escape. But the cutt he legs of her, ran he and pointed guns at he upon she surrendered. W cutter's people came aboard found they had captured a ve FLOATING INFERNO Her cargo consisted of nearly thousand rifles, a hundred thou rounds of ammunition, and abov ton of pyroxelene, one off awful explosives known. mite, too, and powder were the enough to blow a fleet sky These "supplies" were intended the Central Revolutionary -- mittee, which had its headqu in the Caucasus. ; A favorite trick of the gu ner who fears to excite suspici¢ by running into a port is to he the rifles packed in air-tight ca which are concealed in woe chests to the top of each of w is fastened a long line with a buoy at the end. : i The cases are dropped at a arranged spot, and the Arab others for whom they are int go off by night in small boat pick them up, towing them as by means of the ropes. In ¢ alarm the ropes can, of course, easily cut. Three years ago, there took a most amazing tragedy % proves the risks incurred b runners. A three-masted sh river off Tunis, and began un ing her cargo into a dhow (ne boat), Some French officers, ar with powerful telescopes, the cargo to be rifles and c cartridges. ; THE VESSEL FLEW NO and a canyas screen hid her The French authorities sent by night a number of armé which surrounded the vesse waited till dawn to board. ly came a terrific explosion spot where the smuggler h lying was hidden by a cl smoke. When it blew aw vessel had disappeared. H tain, seeing himself outn had fired the cargo, consi 500 barrels of powder, a himself, his ship, and the his crew to destruction.-- Weekly. Russia France Spain ere Argentine .......5. Chili Parkey 4.<: i repnNnihwwoor wo 51 *Or to be laid down in 1911, Most costly of all the Dread- noughts are the Russian vessels. The original estimate for these ships was £2,280,000 each, but it was recently stated by the Russian Minister of Marine that they would cost £3,200,000. Britain, Germany and Japan are the only nations building cruisers of the Dread- nought type. Cn SIMPLY AWFUL. "T say, old man, whatever's the matter with your face?"? asked Jones. "Accident,'? said Brown, "How did it happen?' "Why, yesterday I was walking along the street when a workman carrying a pickaxe -- stumbled against me, hitting me in the mouth, and knocking out a tooth.' "Oh, what a shame! That was quite a dental operation," said Jones, who will have his little joke. "No. The chap said it was axe- i-dental." 'Ha! Ha! Oh, that's too thin !" "No, it was teoth out!' ie Never bring the family skeleton out of its closet for an airing when strangers are present. -- HIS TREASURED "You look very miserable kins?' ee "Tam. There were bu my house last night." | "Hard luck! What h Did they steal your silve "No they never touchec "Get all your cash, pe "T never had any at ho S hxeost 2: ' Not-one. Vise "Then what on. upset about?' "Because l've be training my watch-d finest in the comnts first burglars who stolen bim,'® When a man begins to sympathize with himself it's a sign he has out-| lived his usefulness: | f ss ge od One kind of a dreamer is a city man whe wants to own a chicken