| @60000000000000000000 00004 00000000 - Sr, H--Total 315, 0600000606666066006666066666006000000 =) --a VOL. IV--No. 39. MONKTON, ONT., \ 3 FRIDAY, JUNE 14, 1912. 4 Malcolm MacBeth, Editor and Proprietor ~~ House Cleaning Time -- \ pet or new Rug. SOOO S FOSS SSOEOH 9S SSO 0905549580585 G9F0FS $0FO00OFOOF0FFO00FO8 notice. terns to select from. f curtains. Dress Embroideries. at the right price. WEBER & 0000006 00000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000 And no doubt you will want a new Car- , We carry a good as- sortment of these and if we have not got what you want we can supply on short Linoleums & Oilcloths We carry a large stock of beautiful pat- Lace Curtains We have a large shipment of imported Newest designs in echure and arab shade. At prices to suit everybody. Try us for summer: Dress Goods or The largest assortment ever shown in this community. @ e Millinery This department has been very suc- cesstul this season and now that the warm weather is setting in, to our splendid showing. time to get an up-to-date Hat or Bonnet MONKTON'S : POPULAR @ 3 3 $ td ¢ @ @ @ @ ¢ > @ @ ; e ® @ @ @ @ e > 3 e @ C2 e @ 3 > @ @ . . 2 . 3 ?e @ @ @ 2 ?@ @ ¢ 3 . * - @ Assorted widths. $ Goods we are daily adding Now is the BETTGER STORE PHOS OSHGOOOGHHSOOSH @ @ ® ° ® 2 @ @ @ @ @ e @ ® @ 3 @ @ @ ® ® @ @ @ @ ? 3 ¢ @ 2 @ b @ @ @ @ @ @ e 2 @ < @ 4 @ > 4 @ 2 @ @ @ bg . 2 4 3 4 4 @ bd e e @ ® ° 4 @ ® ® @ ® bd 2 Sd . @ @ ° e ® ---- SCHOOL, REPORT. The follawing is the report_of S.S. No. 7. Logan and Elma. for the mon- th of May. The primer class is ar- ranged in order of merit ;-- ; Sr. IV--Total 650. Lily Young 480. Irwin Nicholson 471. Norman Harvey 444. Ruby McKay 399. Jr. [1V--Total 300. Edwina Harvey 901. Lillian Moffat 198, Wilfrid Pat- terson 189. " "i Sr. IJI[--Total 350. Gladys Moffat 269 Iva Tarr 250. Hileen Young 224 Jean Crawford 216. ' Jr. [l--Total 425. May Colquhoun 295. Jane Flood 282. Jean McKay 27% Lorne Kress 260. George Young 240 Anna Berlet 232. Elton Harvey 218. Steve Nicholson 215, Norman Riehl 201. Ella Querengesser 204. C Rock 181 Millie Riehl 178. Bessie Crawford 177. George Hinz 153. Ella Hinz 145. John Berlet. Walter Ber let and Ray Nicholson absent. Jr. 111--Total 175. John Kistner 150 Joe Tarr 140, Eveline Young 137. Nor man Hollatz 103. Annie Tarr 98> Har- vev Snelling and Sam Snelling absent Sr. I--Total 200. Fred Kistner 141 Eddie Hinz 138. Garnet Battin, 137. Maggie Harvey 137. Walter Rock 135 Charlie Snelling 127 Jobn Snelling 120. Elvera Nicholson 118. Harold Kress 114. Primer--Willie Querengesser. eron Flood. Lorne Richl,. Isabel Kay and Lottie Young. equal. Carim- Mo --_--_ ©0000009999S9990HO999HHHH99 99GHH0S9S9H0H8SSHHOOHSOSEGO Ladies & Gentlemen! the hot wood range. is the daddy of them all. Detroit Vapor Takes the cake for gasoline use. The time for painting and decorating around the home is also here. .We handle nothing but the best grades in Sherwin-Williams & Martin Senours You can rely on the goods being just what the doctor ordered. Alabastine, did you say? Yes, we have it in every shadeon the map. Try a package and come back for a whole lot more, This is the time when the poor women have to suffer standing by 0 Why not buy a Gasoline or Coal Oil Stove and gaye all this nuisance. We have them atall prices to suit every purse. The New Perfection Oil Stove And the Gasoline Stove The Monkton Times Is PUBLISHED : EVERY FRIDAY MORNING Monkton SUBSCRIPTION RAITES One year. $1.00 ; six months, 50 cents; three munths 25 cents in advance. Subscriptions not so paid, $1.50 per year CONTRACT ADVERTISING SPACE YEAR 6 Mos? 3 Mos . column...$50.00 $30.00 $1 ¥Y%column,. 30.00 16,00 Y% column.. 15.00 9.00 1 inch 5.00 3.00 Mon 6.00 $6.0 9.00 4.00 5.00 2.00 2.00 1.00 Hight cenfs per line for first insertion and four cents per line for eacn subsequent insertion will be charged for all transient advertisements. Advertisements without specific direc- tions will be inserted until forbidden and charged accordingly. MALCOLM MacBETH, Publisher and Proprietor j A consignment of strawberries and fruit will arrive at Gill's this week, Messrs. Edgar and James Wilson sepnt Sunday with friends at Seb- vingville.. Mr. and Mrs. J A, Hanson and family spent Sunday with Mr. Mo- Intyre. of Fullarton. ' A number here are attending court at Stratford this week"in the capac- ity of jurors and witnesses. for Guelph hospital, where she intends undergoing surgical treatment. Mr. Thomas been engaged as tailor by O. Duffield in the stead of Mr. R. Golightly, Rev. A. Moorehouse has returned from St. Thomas. where he attended the meeting of the London confer- ence. Mr. Wm. McPherson. of the 14th of Logan is getting the material on the ground forthe erection of anew cem- ent house. Rev, Dr. C. H, Marshall, of Drayton Ohio, is.at present visiting at the re- sidence of his brother, Mr. J. H Mar- shall, of Monkton. Mr. John 'Weir and his nephew spent a day at Goderich this week fishing and returned with over bushel of fine fish. The rush for the City-Dairy Ice Cream at Gill's has become so great that he has been compelled to find additional space and help. A number of the friends of Mr, Russell Golightly presented him with a diamond stick pin last week pre- vious to his departure for High River Alta. 2 The rain on Wednesday mornin was much 'needed to 'prevent €he cround from baking after the recent rains. Vegetation was consilerably refreshed as a fesult of it, The year 1816 is: known in history as "the year without a summer" Per- haps. in the slow march of the ages. the time has comé to have to have a year without a spring.--Chicago Trib- une. Mr. Walter Thomson shipped from here last week five cars of hay which practically cleans up the business for the season at this point, _This makes the output at this point for tha past season about 350 cars. Assessor McMillan, of Listowel, has returned his roll to the clerk, which shows the total population of the town to be 2206. The total assessment is $1,028,504. (Exempted 'property pam- ounts in value to, $107,475. _ The Mitchell baseball team journey- ed over on Tuesday.last and tried con elusions with the local mine. The goore standing 12-3 in favor of the tome team. Monkton battery--Har- ris and Bettger. For the first nine "months of the current fiscal year, we have bought from the United Statea goods to the amount of $230,000,000, as compared with $191,000,000 for the correspond- ing period in the year previous. Mr John Francis on Monday last did a plucky thing and averted a dangerous runaway. by getting down on the tongue of the wagon and pick- ing up the lines while the horses were leaving the cheese factory at fill speed. Hon. Robert Rogers annonced at Regina, that the government would build elevators at the head of the lakes and would relieve settlers of puilding tax regulations and reduce the necessary homestead cultivation one half A high-holder that persisted in del- ving deep into the wood of the C.P.R water tank. came td grief the other day. Being a beautiful specimen, he will be moumted and in future will view his surroundings from) a differ- ent altitude. Members of 'Court Rosewood No. 72. will attend divine service at the Methodist church next Sunday. morn- ing at 11 o'clock. Members of Com- jpanion Court (Idewild are cordially invited to join in the worship. All members of Court. Rosewood are re- quested to meet at the court room at 10 o'clock. The township council are at pres- ent engeged in grading up the roads through the village. It is the inten- tion of the council to havd the road macadamized with crushed stone. One noticeable feature of the grading that might be profitably: followed by pathmasters. is thaf none of the dirt | scraped off is placed; on the crowm of | the road. but is taken away. | Judging from the numbea of mar- riages performed in~ the last two weeks by the Sa™ia ministers it is plain that cupid must/ be doing a thriving business across the border in the States. Many of the young couples hail from "The Thumb" of Michigan. and it is quite a common sight this time of the year to see a self-conscious young fellow and a blushing. be-ribboned girl. wandering along the streets looking for the near- est parsonage. 3 Waris may often be removed --by the use of some caustic application for instanece..a corrosiv: eollodion mav be prepared by dissolving one part of mercuric chloride in twnety narts of eoilodin. The vrart should be painted with this twice a day. care being taken not to touch the heaithy skin. Sometimes warts may be fre- by the simple.use of nitric acid. first Mrs. Robert Murray left on Tuesday | Moon, of Blyth, has: A number from hero attended the Haag cirous at Listowel last week. "Mr. Wm. Bettger and Miss Maggie Messrs. Paul Kowaliski and Ed. Litt. of Dublin. spent! Tuesday in the village. Mr. Otto Bettger. of New Hamburg spent Sunday with his. soon, Mr. M. E. Bettger. Rev. H. Fergusson. of Stratford. will occupy the pulpit of Knox church next Sunday. Mr. Geo. Battin has secured a large number of patrons in this district for tlie Walkerton dairy. Messrs. Weber & Bettger\ have the cement foundation completed for; the addition to their store. Mr. anti Mrs. Noah! Wilker, of New Hamburg. were the guests of Mr. and Mrs. G. Wilker over Sunday Mr. and Mrs. Wit, Bettger, Mr. G. 'Bettger and iMiss Maggie Wettger attended the funeral of the late Geo P. Hoffman at Milvertom onM¥nday. At the manse. Milverton. on Wed- nesday. June 12th. by Rev. T. J, Rob- inson, M,A:. Mr. Johu Bryne to Miss Susan Leppard. daughter of Mr. and Mrs. P. Leppard. all of Elma The annual orehard services in connection with the Bethesda church chard on Sunday June 23. berry festival will be held at the same ing. McLELLAN--DOERING A very pretty house wedding took | place at the home of Mr. and Mrs, Ferdinand Doering. of Elma, on Wed-, oesday of. last week. when their daughter, Mary. M. was united in mat rimony to Mr. J. Aiken McLellan, of | Mornington, Precisely at 4 o'clock | to the strains of thé wedding march | played by Piper Gordon Cruickshank The wedding party took their places under an arch of evergreen. where | Rev. T. E Waelchli. of. Berlin, tied |the nuptial knot, The bride did in- pees look charming in a gown of | white embroidery. carrying a boquet lof cream roses and maidenhair fern. | Miss Vera M. Doering. her sister.' | aated as maid of honor and was also lattired in a dress of white embroid- 'ery and carried a boquet of lily of the | valley. The ceremony 'and congra- | tulations over a dainty wedding sup- per was served in.the tastily decorat- led dining room. Relatives wer pres- Amulree. Philipsburg, Wellesley, Poole | Milverton and Stratford. In the ey- | ening..friends and neighbors, num- | bering about one hundred and fifty i gathered. and to the tune of the vio- lin. interspersed with bagpipe selec- tions. tripped the light fantastic until the we sma' hours. The high esteem in which the young couple are held was evidenced by the many beautiful and useful presents which they re- ceived Mr. and Mrs McLellan will Ite Farm after July: ist. COGHLIN--AIKEN At six p.m, .on Wednesday. June 5th. at the home of the bride's par- ents. on the 4th concession of Elma. the marriage took place of Florinda Mabel. youngest daughter of Mr. and Mrs. J. Aiken. ta Mr. Robert John Coghlin of the same concession. The MoKeivy -Trowbridge, in the presence of 125 guests. given away by her father. wore a beautiful white silk dress with fringe and pearl trimmings, Little Aileen Coghlin dressed in white net over blue. acted as ring-bearer. The wed- ding chorus was rendered by Miss Anna Hartmier. of Milverton, cousin of the bride. The young couple will take up house-keeping on the groom's fine farm in Elma. Friends were present from St. Thomas. Palmerston, Listowel. Millbank, Milverton, Moles- worth. Cranbrook. Monkton and At- HESSON. Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Kocher Mr, at St. Clements. Mr. and Mrs. Henry' Isley. Gr. spent Sunday at the home of Mr. John Erler. : Mr. John Foester has been on the sick list for some time. Mr. Murphy and his assistant have completed the steeple of church. having repaired and painted it. which greatly improves the ap- pearance. Mr. and Mrs. Joe Helm-spent Sun- day at John Foester's. gaged by Mrs. J. O'Grady for a few months. a few days with her parents. Mr. land Mrs. L. Weidenhammer Mr. Geo, VolHmer is spending afew | days with his mother. | ---- INTRANCE EX MS" ON JUNE 19: The Comirimont of elucation has announced that the Juaicr High eboo! entrance CAIN. ORS vill beg'n on Wednesday, June id Gentine r Soo ne is also that the junior puklic school dipiom2 examination will yo T7th. amd 'cor: 242 PHS 19. until . non mue tit] Fx oe 2 'partment has issted acircular of in- | structions. in which it is stated that }it-is the intention of the department Re Ge= +o: education. by maintaining a prop- | | er standard at the high school en- trance examinations to improve the character of the work done in the | public schools and to prevent the 'eongestion of the high schools with inadequately prepared papils High achool entrance boards are aecordi jv instructed to follow strictly regulations of 1911 --S ee DEATHS. or the his 44th year. observing the directions with bottle. For sale by all dealers. Each age of our: lives had its joys | will be if Chamberlain' [ablets taken to strengthe keep the bow gular ta Bettger autoed to Berlin on Sunday, will be held in Wm. Wollacott's or-. A straw-. place on the following Monday even-. fent from Guelph. Bertin, Waterloo. | be at home to their friends at Glen-! cermony was performed by the Rev.) The bride. who was and Mrs. Alex. Mosser spent Sunday! St. Marys) Miss. Barbara Vollmer has ben en-) for- 19124 Hoffman--At Milverton, on Saturday | June 8th. George P. Hoffman, in, A sprained ankle may as a rule be eured in from three to four days by applying Chamberlain's Liniment aud each Old people should be happy, and they are n the digestion and PERTH COUNTY COUNCIL meen ene The June session of the Perth County Council opened ah the county buildings. Stratford. on Tuesday of last week witht Wardéu McLaren in the chair. -- J. H. Smith. inspector of public schools for Division No. 2. presenied his report for 11-12 showing total ve- ceipts of $50,884.73 and e:xpenditure oi $36,129.96. Number of scaools 44 with 46 teachers. The report of Wim. Irwin. inspector of No. 1 showed receipts of $104,317.04 with expenditures $77,676.84. 68 schools and 104 teachers. The council approved cf the recent amendments to the act! respecting the improvement of public highways. A communication was :received from the secretary of the On'ario Munici- pal Association giving the program of the 14th annual meeting to be held on Tuesday and Wednesday June 18 'and 19-in the City hall, Toronto. ' A communication was read from 'the department of public works and 'engineer of highways re an order-in- council approved of by tle Lietenant- Governor. on good roads. one-third cf cost to be borne by the Government and the remaining two-thirds by the county. A. H. Colquhoun. deputy minister of education. wrote infoxyming the council that the Legislative grants |for the year were; For j ublic schools | $1,898; for separate schcols. $84. To ithis amount the county js required to | raise an equivalent. r | County Treasurer Hamilton sub- ' mitted his estimates for the year to 'the finance committee as follows : Administration of justice. $10,000 townline bridges. $2,00° special grant to hospital $500; annua] maintenance grant to hospital. $500; miscellaneous grants $3,750; Collegiate Institute and High school grants. #7,000; schoo) inspectors' salaries and examination expenses $1.850; grants t9 fifth class- es. libraries. Teachers' Institutes, etc.. $400: grants to public' schools on squipment. $84: imterest on Joans for current expenses. $659; insuran_e heat. light. etc. exclusive of house oi refuge $900: maintenance of house of refuge $6,200: salaries. books. etc.. for registry office $550; sinking fund bv-law No. 334. $6,000° coupons by- law No, 334. $5,100; registry office de- benture No. 2. $1,059.85; unforseen ex- penses $158.15; road and bridges by- law No. 414, $2.000; total estimate 689.800. Estimated receipts for the year are: Provincial treasurer re administra- tion of justice $2,800; .city of Strat- iford re administration of justice and registry office $2,000; town of St. Marys re administratior, of justice and registry office. $550; division court, county and high court jury fees $100- stock and other products. house of refuge and pay inmates of teitv of Stratford. $750: surplus fees for North Perth registry. $750; licen- ses $700: total estimated receipts $7,800 balance $61,000. | The treasurer also resented his | statement for the first five months lof this year. showing the receipts to | be $61,509.69. expenditures $53.339.59, 'balance $8,170.10. : ' 'The finance committes recommen- [de dthat the usual grant of $400 be {made to the Mitchell High school 'board. Report also yecommended 'that the sum of £62000 ke levied and 'yg by-law based on the 1eport of the | equalization committee be passed. levying the same, and ri quiring pay- nt during the year. The report "was adopted. ' The report of the equ: lization com- "mittee subm'tted by Rei ve MecbLaren. chairman. recommended the equaliza- '¢ton to be the same as that for the -sar 1911 as per the vah ator's report + Ne i | ghowing the t6tal valuation of t ,the county of Perth by niunicipalities '-0 be $4,489,150, with an assessed val- ae of $3,847,455; increase on assSess- lm nt £62,025. Repo.t wis adcp ed. | A resolution of condol nce was pass- ',a by the cO.nsil on the ceath cf Wm Sanderson who was twice! warden of the county. The report of the houze of refuge committee was presented by Chairman Smith and made the following recom- mendations ; That the county council appoint the warden of the county. the mayor of the city of Stratford end one mem- |ber of the county council to ba a board of management in place of the present house of refuge committee. That by-law No. 360 as amended be submitted to the Inspector of Pris - ;ons and Public Charities as the rules , es and regulations for the govern- | ment of the house of refuge. That the present system of main- con- | taining the house of refuge be | tinued until Dec. 31, 1912. That Messrs. Robert Armstrong. i John B, Muir and L. F. W. Turner Mrs. Geo. Hahn. of Elmira, spent be a committee to meet 2 cominittee | 'of the city of Stratford council to arrange a new basis for maintenance 'of the house of refuge. said arrange- ment to take effect at the end of the present year.- _ : Also that a list of attached ac- eounts b epaid and tkat necessary minor alterations at the house of re- fuge be made under the Sipervision of the chairman. The report was .adopted. It was moved by Re:ve Hacking. seconded by Reeve Hamilton. that Richard Watson an imbecile of 'Lis- towel. be admitted to the house of fuge until such time as he may be ad- mitted to the sanotarium at Orillia or 'London. Carried. \° Bylaw No, 447 of the municipal council of the county of Perth, auth- orizing the levying of $20,000 fon ne- cessary improvements: pro rata ac- cording to the lasu equalized assess- ment over and abova all rates, -the ;amount to be assessed and levied up- on all such works was given the nec- ng- | essary three readings avi finally car- | riéd. : : By-law No. 448 of the municipal |eouncil of the county of Perth, auth- orizing the levying of $42,000 as a veneral county rate to defray the current expenses and schools in ad- dition to the $20,000 levied under by- law No. 447 for the payment of the amount te bé expended under the cood roads by-law No. 414 passed in the year:1907. was passed after being given the necessary three readings. The road and bridge committee re- ported in part as follows; : The chairman and Reeve Smith in- speoted the bridges on' ihe boundary of Wallace and Maryboro" one at Walker's and at ee These are a 'in the act debarring the reeves and HMM Wl A splendid incentive Sterling Bank. 3 per cent, is to open Savings Accounts in their names at the : It encourages saving, educates them in the use of cheques, and interest accrues at to thrift for your children HEAD OFFICE: Corner King and Bay Streets, Toronto MONKTON BRANCH: F. W. ARMSTRONG, Manager Capital Paid Up......... scsapanioa's noes Reserve and Undivided Profits...... Toisl Asses... 20st Wen teaaneans ...§ 2,870,000 .« 5,000,000 .»- 44,000,000 It is not easy to alter have the incentive of a Sa count. count. Branches at Atwood, Listowel, Milverton Do not procrastinate--call Bank of Hamilton--and open an the habits ofa lifetime--no small matter to for- sake extravagance and learn to save. You will never learn unless you vines Ac- at the ac~ Head Office and Mitchell HAMILTON culvert.10 feet waterwar .and a bridge with a 20-foot waterway. The bridge between the fourth and sixth concessions of Wallace on -the boundary between Howiek and Wal- lac eis in bad condition and if counitu of Huron desires to build it this year this county will co-operate. The bridge is 24-foot span. The north and south approaches of the Bowes' bridge have been washed out over 30 feet and 10 feet deep caused by an overflow from the Mait- land. "Would recommend a bridge to be built about 100 feet farther south and the washout to be filled in; also recommend that a 16-foot culvert be built at a slight angle: one-half to be paid by Perth county. 'With reference to the report of Reeve Cook in regard to the wash- out between North Easth pe and Wel- lesley caused by an overflow of the Nith river. would recommend that a bridge be built wit a 20-foot water- way. With reference to bridge at Honey: grove. recommend that shairman and Reeve Dewar be instructed to mect a committee from Waterloo and that 'a new bridge be erected at a proba- ble cost of $2,000. one-half to be paid by Waterloo, That Reeves Armstrong and Dewar have instructions to have necessary repairs made on Manser bridge over North Black Creek bouncary between Ellice and Mornington. Estimate expenditure of road and bridges to be placed at $3,000 for the current year. With reference to the recent amendment to the Good Roads Act. your committee feel that the clause members of councils of t&e municipal- ities from taking any part in the superintending of the roads to be built in said municipalities, is uncall- ed for and 'am obvious slur on the representatives elected ty the pco- ple and who are directly responsible for the proper expenditure of the people's money. to which the Govern- ment contribute less than one-third the total. We feel that where the Government contribute so little to the construction of good roads their re- quirements and restrictions are en- tirely too onerous. A copy of this res olution to be sent to the Minister fo Public Works. Recommend that Reeves Moffatt. Armstrong and Turner be instructed to inspect and.see that work is com- pleted at once oni county bridges be- tween Logan and: Ellice. With reference to the appointment of foremen for the various parts of the county on which work is to be done on county roads. <he engineer has submitted a list off names to be verified, J. A Hacking. chairman. 'Report was adopted o motion Reeves Scott and Hamilton The report of the special commit- tee on readjustment of cost of admin- istration of justice with Stratford reported that the committea had ex- amined the,papers procured by the clerk and regret that mo signatures or communications have been received from the city i¥ regard to the con- ference requested by the council. Committee recommend that the coun- ty solicitor be instructed to take the necessary steps to procure an order- in-council from the Ontario Govern-| ment setting forth a time for a con- ference of committees of the county city of Stratford and town of St. Marys with a view to.settle the pro- portion to be borne by each of the cost of administration off justice and nraintenance of county buildings. Signed J. A. Hacking. Robert Arm- strong L. F. W° Turner, Jonn_ &. Hamilton. On motion of Reeyes Cook and Eh- goetz the report waa ado yied and the then adjourned. of eounci: A forlorn looking man was brought before a magisirate for drunkenness and disorderly conduct. what he had t0 say for himself. he cazed pensively at the judge. smooth- ed down a remnant of gray hair and said' "Your honour man's inhuman- ity to man makes countless thousands mourn. J am not as debased as Swift as profligate as Byron as dissipated = Ree! as auched -- When asked; SHORT STORIES RETOLD. "IT am fain to inquire a query." writes a correspondent who is on the square in every way. "I want you to tell me what would be right-- I mean I want to know how I should address my mother-in-law. I have only been married a short time." The editor is glad to give the cor- respondent the benefit of his own experience. During the first year we were married we addressed our moth- er-in-law as "Say!" Our problem was solved for us soon after that. Dur- ing the second year we always called her "Grandma." Hoping this will aid you we beg leave to remain yours truly. A San Francisco woman whose husband had been dead some years. went to a medium who produced to her satisfaction the spirit of her dead, husband, ' %y "My dear John." said the widow ta the spirit" are you happy now?" "Tam very happy" John replied. « "Happier than you were on earth with me?" she asked. "Yes" was the answer. "I am - far happier now than I was on earth with you." : "Tell me. John. what is it like heaven?" "Heaven!" John replied. "I'm notin heaven." {| in In the old Fourth Ward of New York, where there was a big Irish population. there used to be a char- acter who lived off of wakes. He watched the papers for death notices. and when a death oceurred in. this neighborhood he would put on his shabby best. drop round! to' the house of mourning weep over the bier, even though the deceased had been a total stranger to him; exto} the virtues of the departed--and then eat and drink until he could hold no more. One night according to Dick Mal- loy the Tammany politician, the old chap reached a wake. He walked in with leaky eyes. to be met by the two stalwart sons of. the dead man, "You didn't know our father. and he didn't know you." they told -him. *You only came to get some free drinks. Now. you get out, or we'll throw you out!" The old man got out; but: at door he paused for a parting shot, : "Pd have you know." he said. ad- dressing the coffined form. "that vou're not the only corpse in New York to-night! There are others -- and a blamed sight better lookin' wans. too!" the eee Up in Vermont the hotel business is real business. and the man who takes a room and eats a meal at one of the hostelries is expected to pay for it without fail. If yow don't believe it take a run up to Vermont and try to beat the house bill. In one of the little towns of the State there is a hotel proprietor called Jolly Jones. One morning after breakfast a guest was about to depart without vaying his bill, Jolly walked slowly 'tothe door with him and in a deadly tone said: "Mister. if you should, happen to lose your bank roll between here and Randolph you can remember that T didn't get any of it." : eesese \ It was a case of Canada vers United States. : ee "Horses!" remarked the Yankee. "I guess you can't tel) me much about horses. Why I once had a. mare that whacked our best express on a thirty- - mile run!" : The company looked interested. but the Canadian gentleman was in no way abashed. "That's nothing!" he said "I out On my ranch one day. miles from homé when-a storm came up." "Waal?" chimed in the American. "So I turned my pony's head for home." the Canadian continued. "and do you know. he raced the storm for the last ten miles." - : ry "Yes" remarked the quiet) member of the company. ree x "Well. I didn't get a drop of 'but my dog ten yards behind hai was twenty frightful t