Monkton Times, 26 Oct 1916, p. 1

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MILVERTON, ONT., THURSDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1916. Malcolm MacBe th, Editor and Proprieter ---------------------------------- The longer the war continues, _ the greater the financial burden 'that Canada will have to bear. nd necessity to save as large a portion of our earnings as we 'ance its obligations, and the better the individual will be _ prepared for any emergency. |, Open a Savings Account with , " The Bank of -NovaScotia : _---PAID-UP CAPITAL - $ 6,500,000 SERVE FUND - ~- 12,000,000 sabes? TOTAL RESOURCES over 100,000,000 MILVERTON BRANCH ; O. W. Huelsman Acting Manager J, Charles Mueller, a well known *manufacturer of Waterloo, died at -Mildmay, where he had gone on a hunting expedition on Friday night. 'being quite ill for several days, occupied various offices in the town and was president of the loca] branch of the Patriotic Fund at the Items of Local Interest. "Mr. N. A. Zimmerman spent the week-end in Toronto. < : Miss Ella Schneider spent Sunday with Miss Mary Wilhelm, Hampstead. Mr .and Mrs. John Jacobs and son, Roy, spent Sunday with friends in +Hampstead, from Saturday to Tuesday with her sister, Mrs. R. Morrison. ; Rey, P. G. Powell is leaving on Thursday morning toattendthe Perth Deanery meeting at Mitchell. * The Milverton public school will be closed on Thursday and Friday owing to the staff attending the Teachers' Convention at Stratford, Rev. W. F,. and Mrs. Hyatt and family, of Melfort, Sask., spent a few days last week at the home of the latter's brother, Mr. Joe Faber. Mrs. Malcolm MacBeth and daugh- ters, Nellie and Isabel, left on Wed- nesday fom Stratford, where they will spend a few days visiting friends. Mr. R. Salvadge spent several days in Stratford this week, the occasion being the death and funeral of his late mother, Mrs, Robert Salvadge. Mrs. Minnie A. Angus, R.N. left for Calgary, Alberta, on Wednesday, where she will visit her sister, Mrs. J. C. Lyons, before resuming her work there. é Rev. W. A. Williams, of North Gower, of jb: Ottawa Presbytery, is at present spending a part of his honeymoon at the home of Mr. J. J. Kerr, of Milverton. His wife was for- werly Mis; Galder, of Mount Forest. Engeland & Son have purchased the tailoring business of Mr. 8. N. Smith and 'have moved the fixtures and goods to their gents" furnishing store Mr. Smith has been engaged by them to look after the tailoring end of the business. Rev. F. W. Mahaffy and family 'left on Wednesday morning by C.P.R. for their new home at Buckingham, Quebec, A number of friends were at the station to see them off. Mr. Mahaffy will be inducted into his new charge on Friday of this week. tee eae / MOHR'S GROCERY : . SPECI ALS a pecking Shredded Wheat ars Su 2 for Thursday Friday and " Saturday 12 lbs. 2 packages ranulated Sugar ¥ Heintz Peanut Butter........... 15 and 4 \bs. Cooking Onions.....%...:.. Back Heinz Sweet Pickles per quart: nny Monday Soap orn Starch All kinds of sesame Patent Medicines WE PAY HIGHEST PRICES FOR BUTTER AND EGGS § 7 oS J. G. HAMILTON Sole Agent for Coal PORTLAND CEMENT ST MARYS LIME ina * Many Clever. Styles" Are Shown Here --Fall Millinery YHE MOST of our Hats are designed to give them a simplicity that is the ighest form of millinery art, = most difficult to attain. Zz e season's new ideas are embodied in these clever crea- tions. Our assemblage is ex- tensive and contains.a great . diversity of models -- all of which are exclusive and dis- tinctive. eles are es a broad range. REGS Any pocketbook can be suited. = : MRS. KATE SPROULE © Main Street » MILVERTON count in the Bank of Hamilton. The | first $1,000 is the hardest to get, but -- once a Start is made you'll be surprised _ to find how quickly your savings accum- ulate. Will you begin now, or will you. ae = _-- ~put it off? : or ~ Milverton Branch -- Mrs. Ed Boye, of Toronto, spent | Strictly fresh eggs 40c. per doz. Engeland & Son. ; Mr. Elton Krantz, of Ayr, spent Sunday in the village. Butter choice 1-lb prints 39c, per Ib. Engeland & Son. Bring your dressed fowl to Loth's. We pay the high prices. You are sure of good photographs if you go to Lee, Listowel. Miss Sadie Hopf spent Sunday with Miss Idella Roese, Stratford. Thanksgiving services were held in the Lutheran church on Sunday last. Call and have a look at our high pyen range, the prettiest and fest on the market. Finkbeiner Hardware. Bring your live fowl to Loth's. We can do well for you. We ship the fowl and pay you what we get for it Enquiring boy; "Ma, did I come from the monkeys ?" Ma; 'I don't know son, Iam not acquainted with al} your father's people. If its anything in stoves you want. We have them, for instance, the Happy Thought, the king of stoves, Finkbeiner's Hardware. A Hallowe'en Social under the aus- pices of the Mission Band will be held in the lecture room of Burns church on Friday evening, commencing at 7,30 o'clock. : Mr and Mrs. George Hopf and son, George, Mr. and Mrs. P. Schneider and son, Clarence motored to Strat- ford on Sunday, where they spent the day with Mrs H. Roese The relatives of Dr. Chas. McMane, who is now at Salonika, received word that he had been wounded in the wrist four weeks ago by a piece of shrapnel. He has been laid complete- ly off work. Messrs. George Coxon, Peter Cook, Wm. Scott and Robt. Ranney intend leaving on Monday to join a party of hunters from Port Elgin, for a two weeks' hunting trip in the Parry Sound district. The Toronto Daily Star and News haye increased their subscription rates 50 cents per year to take effect De- cember ist. It will cost the Star $75,000 more for newspaper this year owing to the increased price at the mills. Pte. Jas. McCracken, of Palmerston, has returned with the honored scars of war. He was in the great Ypres battle of June 13, and, as he says, luckily escaped with the loss of one eye and a bullet hole through his left wrist. Owing to the backward weather the work of canvassing the townships for the Red Cross has been somewhat de- layed and the drawing for the car has been postponed until Friday evening of this week instead of on 'Wednesday evering. : Resolutions expressing regret at the departure of Rev. F. W. Mahaffy B.A., as pastor of Buras church, Mil- verton, were passed and recorded- on the records by the Session and the Board of Management of the church at their last meeting. Up to the time of going to press ne defisite arrangements had been made for the filling of Burns church putpit on Sunday next, but 'there is a likelihood of Rev. Mr. Patton, of Port Figia, or Kev. Mr. Amos, of Palmer- ston. being present. Rev. E. H. Bean received a letter from his son, Pte. Bean, written in France on Oct, 7th, stating at that time that he was quite well. Mr. Bean has had no official word that his son had been wounded despite the rumor prevalent to that effect. The Milverton Hunt Club composed of the following gentlemen; George Pauli, Bert Kriesel, John Debus, John Denstedt, Jacob Baumbach, George Yungblut, John Schade, Fred Zim- merman, Wm. Zimmerman and Wm. Livingston intend leaving on Monday next for Mowat, in the Parry Sound district, where they will spend the next counle wf weeks hunting deer, Word has been received that Pte. Reid McAllister, of Mornington, was wounded in action inFrance. He left Toronto in May withthe 95th Batt.. but was in the first draft from his Battalion. He is now with the 3rd Battalion. No defininte word has been received of the nature of his wounds. His brother, Capt. Richard McAllister left Canada early in September and is now with R.A.M.C. The Sacrament of the Lord's Supper was dispensed in Burns church on Sunday morning last, previous to Mr, Mahaffy's departure for his new charge at Buckingham, Quebec. Over 150 partook of the sacrament, which was solemnly observed. Mr. Mahaffy was. assisted in its dispensation by the ruling elders of the church, Messrs. John Roulston, Robert Ran- ney, James Hamilton, Matthew Whit- ney, Samuel Kinkead° and William Holmes. : : A social evening was held undef the auspices of the Burns church Bible Class in the lecture room of the church on Thursday evening of last week, The programme consisted of games, instrumental and vocal musical selections. A feature of the evening was the presentation to Rev. F. W. Mahaffy B.A., organizer and teacher of the class of a gold headed umbrella Mrs. Mahaffy on behalf of the Ladies' Aid and Women's Missionary Society was presented with a beautiful hand pained jardiniere, . Mr. T. Howell, national secretary of the Brotherhood Federation of Canada and Dr. W. ©. Minifie, Ph. I., of London Eng., are at present making» a tour of Western Ontario delivering lectures on week nights sud holding services on Sunday in|. behalf of the suffering refugees of Belgium and Northern France, Their appeal from pulpit and platform is usually followed by a canvass of the village or locality. Dr. Minifie's lect- ure, "With the British Fighting For- ces in Camp and Field." which is il- lustrated by realistic cinematograph and stereopticon ~ pictures is most thrilling and entertaining and depicts scenes of striking and remarkable in- terest. Dr. Minifie and Mr. Howell lectured here on Friday evening. when Rev. W. Moffat, of Millbank, very kindly operated the lantern. On Sunday Dr. Minifie preached at North Mornington in the morning, at Done- 'gal in the afternoon and in the At- |wood Presbyterian church at night. 'Mr. Howell spoke in. Knox church Millbank in the morning and at the |Methodist church in the afternoon. Milverton contributed over $200 to the fund, Millbank $175, North Morn- ington $125 and Monkton over $100. Corsidering the many calls made upon 'the public, these amounts contributed 'this worthy cause are very gratify- . Ad Butter 37c. Eggs 37c, at Loth'.s Cash paid for Kggs at the Pearl Creamery. Strictly fresh eggs 40c. Engeland & Son. Butter choice 1-lb prints 39c. per tb. Engeland & Son. : Shot guns and rifles to hire at Finkbeiner's Hardware. Mr. Wm. Neumeister, of Kitchener, spent the week-end here on businss. Feed corn for sale at the Newton elevator. A carload has just arrived. --R, Jack. If you intend doing any wiring this fall, let us give you an estimate. Finkbeiner Hardware. ~ A Kitchener farmer was in Satur- day last fined $10.00 and costs for selling chickens at short weight. We are once more going to draw vour attention to your stove and fur- Nace repairs. The winter is drawing near. Finkbeiner Hardware. We will have a supply of cement on thand during the fall and winter. A carload just received. B. & N. Planing Mill Co., Milverton. Swift Current, Sask., to date holds the record for parcels of land adver- tised this year for sale for arrears of taxes, there being no less than 23,500 parcels of land advertised. 2 A Saugeen Presbytery pro re nata meeting was 'held in Knox church, at Palmerston, on Tuesday, October the 24th, when a call was presented by Moorefield congregation, largely sign- ed, offering $1,000 and three weeks' holidays to Alex. Craw, B.A., Elmira. The call was sanctioned and for- warded to Guelph Presbytery for ratification. A party of .Ontario business men made a tour of Quebec. They were well received, but informed that they. must use the French language in al} their dealings in that part of the country, and that their advertising matter should be printed in two lang- uages. The inference is that Ontario is Ontario, and Quebec is Quebec, and thus they will remain. It is the pride of the British Red Cross that in every crisis in the cam- paigns of Great Britain and her Allies. it has been able to bring prompt and efficient aid to supplement the untir- ing work of the official services, It is the only institution that carries vol- untary aid to the sick and wounded of the British forces on land and sea in every region of the war. Contracts which had been made in England for supplies of fish for British and Canadian forces, promise a trade of more than a million dol- lars weekly. General Hughes, while in England, discussed with the British board of trade the question of such a supply and negotiations per doz. were begun which resulted in an} order for 1,500,000 pounds of frozen fish. '3 Stanley Morkem, shoemaker, of Woodstock, has been fined $200 or two-months in jail for allowing liquor. to be consumed on his premises in contravention of the prohibition act. A Simcoe man was fined $20 and costs for being drunk under prohibition. The magistrate threatened that in the next case for a similar offence that he would inflict the maximum penalty. It is admitted that sometimes the wind blows in Western Canada. Not long ago a sudden blast struck Camp Hughes. A Sergeant in the Pay- master's Office, in describing the re- sult 'said; "We thad just finished writing out 1,100 pay checks for the Umptieth Battalion. Suddenly the tent flew away and the checks rose like a flock of wild duck. They went into circulation without endorsement. A letter from a soldier at the front published in the Orillia Packet recen!- ly seemed to say; "This is a great place for scenery; but--send us more socks ! Never was the need sour- gent ag now. Are you doing all you can to help the Red Cross Society in its noble work? Surely many of us have reason to feel ashamed: of our self-indulgence and lack of interest in the men who are fighting our battles. ; Enlistments for the first half of October have totalled 3,160. This is an increase of 124 over the preceding | fortnight. Recruiting continues at the rate of about 6,000 per month, but it is hoped that with: the advent of winter the release of a considerable number of men now engaged in agri- cultural or other outside work will again stimulate enlistment. The ene listments since the outbreak of war are now placed at 368,863. Lemon extract. contafns a much higher percentage of alcohol than Peruna and since the Ontario Temper- ance Act came into force it) has served as a substitute for whiskey. A young mfin named Roy Van Wyck took too much of this flavoring preparation and went out on the street in an in- 'oxicated condition and $10 and costs were extracted from him by the police magistrate of Owen Sound. While in a stupid daze after taking a big dose of this strongly alcoholic extract an Owen Sound man named George Sensebaugh, walked off the dock and was drowned, Looks as though Lemon Extract wouid have to be included in the booze list. When the grocer is asked for Lemon Extract by a customer who has been addicted to drink he will wonder whether it is for flavoring his breath or his pud- ding. - : ------ Rev. Mahaffy Departs A meeting of the Stratford Presby- tery was held in Burns church, Mil- verton, on Thursday. afternoon, of last week, Revd's. A. Stewart, gusson and F. W. Mahaffy and eld- ers, Wm. Holmes and J. Burnett being present. _ : ¥ The only business before the Presby- |. tery was the call extended to Rev. F, W. Mahaffy, B.A., by the the con- gregation of Buckingham, Quebec, which was signed by 83 members. Mr} Stewart was appointed moderator pro tem of the Presbytery, when the mat- ter was presented. Rev. J. D. Fer- gusson in the absence of Rev. Robt. Martin, of Stratford, represented the Ottawa Presbytery and -pressed the cali on behalf of the Buckingham con- gregation, Messrs Jas. Hamilton and BR. Ranney, W. B. Struthers and Mal- 'colm MacBeth represented the in- "terests of Burns church. After some disvussion, Mr. Mahaffy was releaséd ana Mr, A. Stewart, of North Morn- ington appointed interim moderator of session during the vacancy, The pulpit wili be declared vacant on Sun- day next. after which candi 'me safe to the died). Hers | The British and German Attitudes Brooklyn, N.Y., Eagle These two men, (Herr Bethmann Hollwag and Lloyd George) reflect the opposing attitudes of the British and German people. The former are convinced they can conquer; the lat- ter no longer look for victory, but hope to avert defeat. They do not now demand indemnities or the an- nexation of the raided provinces, With their enemies miltiplying, their re- sources dwindling, their coasts block- aded, their foreign commerce destroy- ed, their colonies gone, and _ their armies everywhere on a bad defensive. they would open negotiations for peace in the hope that they could employ their conquests in Europe as a lever to effect a fairly profitable agreement. . Germany regards Engiand as her most dangerous enemy. She-is right. English money has largely financed the war activities of France and Russia,. to say nothing of the smalt Powers. English ships have closed the German ports, and kept the seas open for Allied commerce, including mili- tary supplies. and moved armed men by the million to the battle fronts, and billions of treasure in a war which her diplomacy labored desper- ately to avert in the closing days of July and the first days of August. 1914, Mr. Lloyd George correctly in- perprets the British resolution to prosecute to war and continue the sacrifices until England and her Al- lies are able to make peace upon their own terms, It does not follow that those terms will realize the German apprehension that the Allies aim at the annihilation of Germany. Their object is entirely different. They do not seek to de- stroy Germany, but they do seek to destroy the power of Germany to throw 'Europe into a panic by the threat of war. Never again shall Ger- many be able to drive a French Min- ister from office as she drove M., Deleasse in 1905. Never again shall the German men- ace enable an ally of Germany to flout the ruling of an International Con- vention. as Austria-Hungary in 1908 flouted the ruling of the Congress of Berlin by annexing Bosnia-Herzego- vina. Never again shall Germany be able to throw arbitration to the winds and provoke a world-wide cataclysm as she did two years ago. Europe wants the nightmare of the mailed fist removed forever. That is why England and her Allies are preparing to make new sacrifices in lives and treasure. That is why Mr. Lieyi George for England and M, Briand for France declare that no talk of peace can at the present time be'made' aceeptable to their respective coun- tries. Russia and Italy are equally reso- ute. No member of the great Alliance weakened in the dark days of war, when their common cause sustained reverse. It would be folly to expect when the tide has turned and victory has come within their grasp, that they should be willing to listen to suggestions of mediation and com- promise. é : Pte. Joe Bassett's Escape oes Private Joseph Bassett, son of Mr and Mrs. Elias Bassett, of Listowel, and former probationer for the Metho- dist ministry, writes home from the trenches, somewhere in France, a very interesting letter, perusal of which gives ample evidence that it was written under abnormal and trying conditions, He says in part; "I started this letter about five weeks ago. Since then I have had a few exciting mo- ments and most of my time has been occupied, both in and out of the trenches. I have been on a number of advanced posts and in two raid- ing parties, and can say now that I have been in dugouts made by Ger- mans, and in trenches recently held by them. "The powers that be have brought present moment through some hard and narrow places. In the last raid we had, my mate was shot at my side; in fact it was only a little bugler and mysel: who came out unscathed, "Tt was a treat fer me to see Irwin Bricker, now Corporal Bricker, of the Ninth Brigade, also Arkans Peffers, "Sandy," I think among his pals. Births, Marriages and Deaths. et MARRIAGES. Huras--Rose--At Brodhagen, on Wed- nesday, October 18th, Frieda, eld- est daughter of Mr. and Mrs, Henry Rose, to Mr. Wm. Huras, of Kitch- ener. Leathem--Watson--At the manse, Mil- verton, by Rev. F. W. Mahaffy, B.A., on Monday, October 23rd, Mr. J, Leathem to Miss Winnifred Helen Watson, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Levi Watson. Both of Mornington. 'SUPERFLUOUS HAIR Moles, Warts, Blemishes, Etc., perman- ently removed by electric needle. MRS. W. COWAN will be in Milverton at Grand Cental Hotel, Tuesday, Nov. 7 On and after the First of November, the price of The Milverton Sun will be ad- vanced to $1.50 per year. All subscriptions paid pre- vious to that date will be accepted at the dollar rate. The great advance in the price of paper and all ma- terial entering into the make up of a newspaper has -- made this step necessary. | With the Milverton Boys at Camp Borden. Friday, October 20, 1916. Still here in this great No-Man's Land of Canada with little prospect of moving within a week or so, I will not turn prevaricator and say that we are patiently waiting for the order that will send us eastward, for discontentment is rampant that such has so long been delayed. According to latest rumors we should break camp about the end of the month Report says that the delay has been occasioned by the change of com- manding officers. Col. Youngs is to succeed Col, Delamere. The depart- ure of the latter will be regretted by the rank and file of the Perths, as he has always proven himself 4 man among men. He was averse to subserviency and I oft heard it said that men who -took their little tales of trouble to him found a friend, not a commander. The weather of late has been un: settled and has retarded training to a considerable extent, however, the koys are always happy when the bugle sounds "No Parade" even if Jupiter Pluvius has the taps on full force. In Canada to-day as a general rule only the timid sissy boys of the silk sock brigade are alluded to as having "cold feet'? but we must candidly ad- mit that it takes a pastmaster in the art of bed-making to keep the cool zephyrs away from your pedal extremities these nights in this neck wf the woods. Since our return from Milverton the work has been fairly strenuous. brushing up for the stiffer training that will follow in England. Some time was spent in a bombing course. Learning the manipulation and in- gredients of those handy little man- killers, called grenades or bombs. They are small cast iron devices, thrown from the hand or a rifle and generally burst into about fifty pieces Being charged with the most power- ful explosives known, they naturally kick up considerable dust where they land. The Irishman at the front who epquired at a dugout as to how many Germans were present and _ then divided one grenade among the five must have rested assured that there were at least five '"Heinies'" gone across the river Jordan. Considerable time has also been spent at the bay- onet course, where with naked blades the men charge full speed over trenches and other obstacles, stabbing numerous dummies while on their way. It is no child's play as a slip or mis-step might mean a jab from your comrade's bayonet. As a.preliminary exercise to the bayonet Bharge the men scale a straight nine foot wall. Just picture such-an obstacle in front of our old friend, John Cunningham, but I am going to be a little George Washington and tell the truth, John found the going easier by ducking around. the end, and got away with it. On Wednesday last the battalion was given a real work-out--a route march of about 17 miles in. full march- ing order, or to be plainer, carrying a pack weighing about 60 pounds. Although there were several fell by the wayside, our platoon weathered the gale and romped home on the bit with heads up. Ten months ago had aman placed on our backs 60 pounds and asked us to tramp a block an explosion of language at least would likely have followed, but now-- Oh well. war is hell anyway. The camp is being gradually broken, some battalions going east and others to winter quarters. Generally the overseas battalions are given a good send-off, and it has been with en- vious eyes that we have watched sev- eral march away, perhaps, however. our turn is coming and there will stili be plenty lIecft.to do. Will try to keep The Sun in touch with boys as much as possible from now on. Job." "Your Man on the eee G D | HYMENEAL | Q 5S) HURAS--ROSE A pretty wedding took plaee at St. Peter's church, Brodhagen, on Wed- nesday, Oct. 18, at two o'clock, when Miss Frieda D., eldest daughter of Mr. and Mrs, Henry Rose, was united. in marriage to Mr. William A, Huras, of Kitchener. The ceremony was per- formed by Rev. H. Weigand in the presence of a large number of guests, The bridesmaid was Miss Emilia Vock and the groom was assisted by Mr. Richard Rose, brother of the bride. The bride was gowned in ivory satin with pearl trimmings and carried a beautiful bridal bouquet. After the ceremony the wedding party and guests repaired to the home of Mr. and Mrs. Rose, where the wedding feast was partaken of and the guests aroused themselves in vigorous games until well on into the hight. The bride is one of Logan's highly esteem- ed young*women and her many friends will wish both Mr. and Mrs. home at Kitchener, $+ SAUNDERS--MacPHERKSON A quiet. wedding took place this afternoon at four o'clock, at St Luke's church, when the Rev. W. Bertal Heeney united im marriag> Miss Helen White MacPherson, daugh- ter of Mr. G. G. MacPherson, K.C., of Stratford, Ont., to the Rey. Charles W. Saunders, B.A., D.D., of Brantford, Ont: Both bride and bridegroom were unattended.--Winnipeg free Press Bulletin of Oct. 16th. Cewek eee Hunting in Ontario has been very much restricted by the provincial gov- errment. Every resident of the pro- vince is not free to shoulder his gun and go forth to take as much game as his prowess asa hunter will enable shooting on their farms. _ Huras much happiness in their new) g {him to bag. In future hunters and jtrappers of all fur-bearing animals must secure licenses for which a fee of $5 per season will be charged. A man may hunt on his own farm with- out a license but must secure the necessary paper before going on any- body's else's, This should stop farm- fiers from being pestered with boys Short Stories Retold. SHE SURELY WASN'T Some years ago the commanding of- ficer of a military station gave ordera that no one should be allowed to step over the grass where the cow was pastured. The next day the general's wife, wishing to take a short cut, started to walk from one path to an- other. "No one to pass here, madam," said the sentry. The lady drew herself up. 'Do you know who I am?" she demanded. "No madam," replied the impres- sive soldier. "I do not know whe you are. But I know you are not the general's cow and nobody else is per- mitted to walk on this grass." mix NOT THEIR FAULT Uncle Josh was comfortably lighting his pipe in the living room one eve- ning, when aunt Maria glanced up fron¥ her knitting. "Josh," she remarked, "do you know that next Sunday will be the twenty- fifth anniversary of our wedding?" "You don't say so, Maria !"" respond- ed Josh, pulling vigorously on his corncob pipe. "What about it?" "Nothing," answered aunt Maria, only I thought "maybe we ought to kill them two Rhode Island Red chickens." "But, Maria ?'" demanded uncle Josh. "how can you blame them two Rhode Island Reds for what happened twen- ty-five years ago?" to INGRATITUDE Thera are few accusations which will make a decent man more righteously angry than to be called an ingrate. It implies the absence of self respect, it labels a man as a seeker of fav- ors he has no intention of returning; it embodies all the qualities an hon- orable_man is proud of lacking. Uriah Heep was its arch type. ; To benefit by services which one is able to return and then shirk re- turning them is to qualify for the "sponger" class, especially if the bene~ faotonis in dire need and the one-time beneficiary has grown. strong and prosperous under his fostering care. b--p THE BEST MOTHER Five-year-old Willie often played with a neighbor boy, John. One rainy day the two were just starting across the clean kitchen floor at Willie's home when the latter's mother, not- ing their dirty shoes, headed them off and sent them out to play on the porch. There the following conver- sation took place; "My mother don't ~ care how much I run over the kit- chen floor.' said John There was a long interval of silence. Then Willie said; "I wish I had a_ nice dirty mother like you've got." re --> WOULDN'T CAST A SHADOW An old Scotch crofter, when giving evidence before the crofter's commis- sion, admitted that, while he was the owner of three cows, "'the beasties were as thin as Pharaoh's lean kine." The Chairman, thinking to corner old Kenneth, asked him to say how lean Pharaoh's kine were. Even a_ sev- entcenth century divine would have wanted a day or two to think this over. But Kenneth asnwered at once "They were sae lean that they c'o'd only be seen in a dream," + Bes SAME FAMILY NAME * An Irishman was seated in a rail- way carriage next to a very pompous- looking man, with whom he commene- ed a conversation in a rather free and leasy manner, At length the pompous one said; "My good man, reserve your }conversation for one of your own jequals. & would have you know that IT am a K.C." The Irishman jumpeé up, and held out his hand. "Begorry shake !" he exclaimed. "Oi'im a Casey meself." ee SCOTTICISM McTavish and MacPherson are adrift at sea in an open boat. , McTavish (on his knees); "O Lord, I ken I've broken maist o' Thy com-+ mandments, And I've been a hard drinker all my days. But, O Lord, if we're spared this time, I promise nev- er----" MacPherson; "I widna commit my- sel' ower far, Donald, I think I see land." $--d NOT WHAT PAPA MEANT George had just asked for Marjorie's hand, , 'Have you seen her mother?' the prospective papa-in-law asked. "Yes," replied George, "but I want to marry her, anyhow." a4 HIGH COST OF LIVING Hardluck Horace; "I'm awful hung- ry, mum. Would you mind if I ate a little snow off your front piazza?" The Woman; 'Not if you will shov- el off the rest of it to pay for what you eat." ea : oh DISILLUSION Since shortened skirts_in view have moved, With frank regret we must aver, A lot of ankles have not proved As shapely as we thought they were, ++ ALMOST UNANIMOUS NOW | | No matter how the weather goes now, nearly all of Canada can now say, as they do in the West; "we do not mind the cold--its so dry," HH Rector (going his rounds): pig that, Mr. Dibbles, fine 1!" Contemplative Villager: "Ab, yes. sir; if we was only all of us as fit oe die as him sir !" "Fine uncommonly ft 'Mh (3 Sa tny

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