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you possibly cash a cheque for me?" (Always a pleasure, Ed- na) . "Would you tell Tom Bunda to get his butt back to the restaurant? Maybe he ain't got nuthin' to do but we're busy as hell!" "Do you think your Lions Club could help a 14-year-old boy? He needs expensive dental work and his family can't af- ford it." (Four years and $2,200 later - good teeth) “When John Francis comes in for his coffee, tell him not to forget the butter .'l _ "Send the old man home, there's a guy here thinks Wilf is the only one who can sharpen skates!" "What's the name of that clock place (or wool shop) on John Street?" '7When does the Farmer's Market open?" _ And of course, “Congratula- tions! You’ve just won 10 free dance lessons!" You might think that we'd get fed up with all these distractions from business but on the con- trary, we were always very hap- py to be involved. It was a real boost to our ego that so much attention focused on Four John Street and we smugly felt that nothing happened in Weston that we weren't aware of. The "John Street Busybody" label was unkind but possibly well deserved. Regretfully, we never did keep a telephone log at Ken Johns Men's Wear. Without any exaggeration, well over 50 per cent of our calls had not the slightest connection to the clothing business. "You're connected with the businessmen, why can't you do something to clean up the gar- bage at Weston Road and Lawrence?" "Hi Ken, Jean Cott here. When you see Lindsay please tell him that Bill at the City of York wants to talk to him." "hius it was a severe shock on the evening of Feb. 13 when well over 200 people, after mon- 'Ken Johns ain 't on John no more , “I missed the bank, could KEN Joth Then when we entered the hall, it was like our whole lives were passing in front of us. Friends from bygone days, neighbors from Ranwood Drive and cottage country, fellow businessmen, Weston Lions, former men's wear salesmen, store customers from near and very far, our family members - everyone, it seemed, was there and they were relishing our ex- pression of dismay and disbe- lief! Without a doubt it was the most overwhelming situation we've ever been lured into. ths of planning, took Doris and I completely by surprise with a retirement party! Never has a secret of such magnitude been so well kept! For 46 years the Weston Lions have held a Charter Anniversary in February. How could we possibly know that it would be pre-empted in favor of a party for us? Phoney tickets for the Charter Night were printed. I had two and just before we en- tered the ballroom at' the Ramada Inn, I was reminded that I hadn't paid for them yet! It was truly a memorable evening: delicious food, appro- priate decorations, Florence Wilson at the piano, impressive trophies, thoughtfully chosen gifts pertinent to our associa- tion with various groups (and a few impertinent!). Doris receiv- ed a lovely bouquet of flowers and a host of speakers outdid one another at embarrassing old Ken! It's a good thing we closed the store when we did. We couldn't survive now that the whole world knows that Doris always accompanied me to buy suits because of my being color blind! And you’d think you could trust a minister not to tell everyone that I'd recently bought a shirt at the Bay for $1.98! Someone even disclosed that our record of 24 honest years on John Street went down the drain just weeks before we closed, when the by-laws en- forcement officer caught us with a sign projecting six inches over city property! Most people there missed a very humorous incident. The speaker asked for all the men who had ever bought a Ken Johns' suit to stand up. Our two sons hesitated, then reluctantly got to their feet. It seems they were confused by the word "bought!" For the past 20 years or so, at our annual Lions Christmas party, I have had the dubious distinction of leading the group through a rambunctious rendi- KEN JOHNS AIN'T ON JOHN STREET N o MORE (Tune: Softly and Tenderly) Verse 1 (Ken himself) ft seems that old Kenneth has now reached his zenith Whatever will be - has to be Ken 's future 's obscure, now that partridge manure Has killed off his fav 'rite pear tree! Chorus (All) No m-o-r-e, no m-o-r-e Ken Johns ain 't no more on John Street no m-o-r-e 3rd Line (Mayor Alan) tion of the "Twelve Days of Christmas." This past season, however, I decided the "Twelve Days" was a bit too physically exhausting so instead I contriv- ed the "Ken Johns Swan Song." It was so well received that the committee for the retirement party included it as the finale of the evening. Ken Johns ain't on John Jam Street no more! Verse 5 (Reverend Ross) Verse 2(Mayor Alan) When Ken sings the "pear As mayor of this city, I think tree" - every time - most un- it'sapity fairly That Weston 's lost one of its He takes "Five Golden roots Rings"- selfish/y Our Ken Was so busy, serving When I asked him to share, coffee - nothing fizzy he said, "Ross, I don 't dare! Wonder when he had time to Those rings are my RRSP! ,, sell suits! Verse 3(Rita Rodger) With the enthusiatic roar of Our Ken has been tryin , to be those 200 voices singing "Ken a good Lion Johns Ain't On John Street No For forty-one years, less or More," Doris and I realized more that the curtain was finally The benevolent treasure, he lowered on our happy John guards with great pleasure Street years. We also realized But AUDITS put him on the how infernally grateful we will floor! always be to Lindsay Cott and Verse 4 (Noreen Albany) his hardworking co- Ken does backwards bends, conspirators for giving us such a to look after his friends loving and warm-hearted shove And nnlv one time did he fail off into the sunset! I As mayor of the city, declare it'sa pity 4th Line (All) There was no shortage of things to do when the City of York threw its annual Winter Car- nival at Keelesdale Park on March 6. Free skating, horse drawn sleigh rides, a fast and furious tug-of-war between the York firefighters and Metro Police, figure skating, relay races, sno-pitch and food, more food and still more food: that was the schedule for the event- filled day. To the left, a server has a hot dog on the go while to the right, we caught the atten- tion of a youngster who was cheering on the participants in the big tug-of-war battle on the ice surface inside the arena. The police won, by the way. Photos by Chris Childs And only one time did hefail Winter Carnival lotsa fun! The Weston BIA Luncheon and Fashion Show Fashions Presents 1988 Spring and Summer Saturday, April 16, 1pm Central United Church Weston Rd. and King St. Call 241-8402 or Contact any member of Central United C.G.| .T. Ticket Price $5.00 Humber Valley Villager For tickets: Some guy who makes ham- burg a beautiful thing Would like to see Kenneth in jail! Verse 5 (Reverend Ross) When Ken sings the "pear March 1988 Page 5