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‘ the with tuned m. allowance and expert»: - III. cum to grief when she mud man-existent mother. taw u mam: "have. Noel wu just on of the 18,000 ”dodger: unmasked last yen 5. I drive that has reaped a will! E26,000,000 tor the Ex gun". ' Every year the war y, “this! tax evasion is gruwmg k', We: _ and the dodges he hurled up by cheats grow “.0" fantastic. 3, A £7-a-week Bristol railway- f, w claimed relief tor a wk it“ tamily that grew year by if“ until he had four children r he mixed up the dues of ggr- rhwren’s birthdays and the _ A schoolteacher clalmed re ' It! tar her widowed mother - "nd was still claimmg mne for! utter her mother's death. Yorkshire tractor - driver claimed tar twists when his first child wu born. He was caught after seven years. Taking this trick to excess. however, two wily brothers conveniently m- "'wntod I child whenever they Jud an increase ot income. , When questioned by the tax Waters. they even produced Mud Irish baptismal certiii. _ at" to prove it. They ended up_u the Old Bailey. NICE? DEVELOPED - Diane Dania-Ilia jumps right off the from page into focus as Queen of tho National Press Photogra. ttr", Association for 1955. V beauty reigned over the ttht, anniversary conven'ion of the NPPA Then there we: the spinsterJ who lined her two pet eats as her children and the baehetoy) who listed as bad debts the) gifts he gave chorus girls. Still more ingenious was the manJ who went from job to job and',' defrauded employers by forging J tax adjustment forms The) tonn- purported to show that! be VIII entitled to small rebates i, ot In! Ind the employers paid L up. Commented I magistrate,) "Thu ll the first case I've heard JJ me somebody making a profit out l a! income tax!" I Poe the harsh truth remams that dodgers pay up - usually Plus ttnes _ sooner or later. On In! oeeasion, I tax detective no- “ In advertisement of an Whaler. ire" wenf Itojaxl lEMME AT HIM ', “I Jone-I eminence . ”to: Noel they than vu no mutating I: . . . but on reaching Noel tound that the ' h: authoring: deemed to ho l nun. so she Invented II. and two children. h Cum her imaginary h h» hey business. Noel even M We»! of a fhrht fan harm: with fooling on! a h w his favor”. it "pressed by nu. Malian fan, t, “In. with Ms wolhrwoiqm countryman, S<iscioni, “" our a "varied dicision in a Gannon ring a='a'la'g' Cork» Marian. Scorn of ttte m. do.“ 31 OM Sporty-loco, Iorlin. Germany. y-tax men grew suspi- uL randy. he was a m [ziuq'Stunts By British Dodgers r1'iit.'ijiiiti" But the editor of the 'Tailor and Cutter' pointed out that Eden was really quite slovenly and had severidetects in his dress. The fact is that Sir An- thony Eden, like most well- dressed Englishmen, wears well- cut clothes but is not conscious of his attire. and that alone gives him a well turned out appear- ance. Sir Anthony Eden's fiair for languages stood him in good stead when he was Foreign Sec- retary. One ot Sir Anthony Eden's greatest dislikes is the label that has stuck to him all his life: that of being I natty dresser. He hateg it. Years ago an "Anthony Eden suit" used to' be sold in Sweden. The picture which il- lustrated it showed I crinkly hair Apollo with the colossal shoulders of I super-SPN and a slim, wasp waist. His French and German are particularly good. He once re- vealed that he painstakingly and conscientiously taught himself the complexities of German grammar out of a grammar book propped up next to his mirror while shaving. When he was very young his mother took him travelling abroad. Studying languages was not the happiest part of those holidays. but the young Anthony did so tor several hours every day. _ Sir Anthony Eden ,Galled Sloppy Dresser On their return, by his mother to cesiral mansion, Hall. in Durham. As thev alighted on the vi]- lage station platform. the rail- way porter greeted the lad's mother in broad Durham dialect and she introduced him to her sort "Oh, Mummv! Not another foreign language, please!" he nrntrnod. OI One thing ydu M11 not find Sir Anthony Eden mentioning in my of his speeches is how he got his M.C. One "night he took I small party into No Man's Land, but when they returned found that a man named Harrop was mis- sing. At once he asked for vol- unteers, and with two men re- turned under heavy fire. Anthony Eden went straight trom Eton " the an of seven- teen into the Army in 1915, and within six months was in the thick of the Somme battles. The investigation Ihowed not only that he was trying to tool the revenue but that he was keeping two homes. He readily paid up, with penalties, rather than risk a court case. The tax authorities knew, however, that his wife had discovered his in. iiedlity when she reported him for tax-dodging . . . I few months too late. When the owner of a mall garage had £4,000 in notes stolen from his safe, tax ottieittU pounced - and asked how he had come to accumulate such a sum when his earning, were ngen as only £800. In addition to losing S4,000, he had to phy £1,500! Mon ot the buyers proved to be proNsslottal jewellers. But a business man who spent E1,800 on a necklace promptly had his accounts examined to see a his reported Income indicated such lavish spending power. auction III. ot jowollcry tad thought it might be worth while te-tttttttus bought what. he was taken the Eden an- Windlestone m goodness only knows. Ind wu busily disposing of them It sums mummy more than he had paid-'vhen he disappeared min. . Several gentlemen with large booth "11ed round to ask our patents If they knew where he wu. A week or so later there came I letter, postmarked Liver- Then there was the incident of the South American railway shuns. He bought some hun- dreds of these, with what cupi- Cousin Vernon was a sort of second cousin of mother, so that the discussion of his various ex- ploits by our elders gave them many a vicarious thrill without any danger of sharing the con- sequences which always seemed about to befall him. Then, all of a sudden, he turned up again, slimmer and looking tit and bronzed, with a tale of n shipwreck and a semi- desert island where he was cared for by the hospitable na- tives. There was no reason giv- en for his not having let anyone know where he was all that time, especially as it turned out that the island was not so far from civilization as all that, being in the Hawaiian group and a port of fairly regular call for passing steamers. Everyone suspected that he had formed an illicit alliance with a native girl out there, but one day Cousin Vernon cheer- fully admitted that it we: I“ ship-shape because he had actu- ally married the girl. But wheth- er this was before or after Cousin Lucy's and demise In! never made quite clear. Take the case of "his "DUap- pearance," for instance. Of course, Cousin Vernon was :1- ways disappearing in a minor sort of way. His life was made up of disappearance: and reap- peannces. But this major "Dis- appearance with a capital D" was much more serious. It had happened before any of us children was born, In Cousin Vernon must have been quite I young man 'atsthe time, although none of us could ima- gine anyone as "young" who was nearly thirty years older than ourselves. t Off he went, financed by his bride's dowry, and that was the last anyone heard of him for three years. Cousin Lucy went into a decline and passed away. Not long after his, ill-fated marriage to poor Cousin Lucy (who was neither poor nor a cousin), the rascally Vernon had deserted his bride and gone to make his fortune seeking gold in Alaska. A little late for the Klondike. he had a theory that the gold seams there continued under- ground and came to the sur- face again a few miles to the north. We could not understand why he should go so far for such a reason, for his bride had quite a substantial fortune of her own which was, it was unkindly whispered, probably the only reason why Cousin Vernon had married her. We thought it ra- ther admirable of Cousin Ver- non to assert his independence Ind refuse to live on his wife's money. When this happened, we knew that Cousin Vernon had been “111) Ala Tmething" ggain. We were not really supposed to know anything about Cousin Vernon's doings, and whenever lany ot us went into a room (where such I discussion was taking place among the grown- ups, there would be I sudden short hush and then animated ehatter about the weather, or how much we had grown since they saw us last. A COMPLETE STORY " John Carlton Cousin Vernon had been what the family called " bit ttf I seallywag." Nothing illegal, of course, but there were I few instances when the thldow of the "arm of the law" loomed ominously in his wake. Uncle Bert, mother's widowed brother who lived with us. thought it a pity that it never actually caught up with him, and this point ot view was as fiercely debated Imong us child- ren as it was among our elders. SOME THINGS MON" CAN'T IUY - Not even $200,000 will help four-your-old Perm, right, jump "m. like the other kids in th in picture on doing. Parity, Ion her whcn she we: hit by a garbago truck. Her paroms war. awarded $200,000, largest ual "ttUment in the strrte's history, but Patty would rather havo her log. THE LAST LAUGH WAS ... WHOSE? sie know that we "tra ”a." - Cyclln lob Manon Ooh: M PM air-ond ttt lucond plan Manon-Lon he Moan the finish line during the International J u n i o r Tourist ‘Trophy Motorcycle race on " Mirt't Mo of Mon Earvh-bound winner was Bill tomes, who ovmgod 92.33 mph. Gov the mum. Mama happened to be out in the front garden, pruning the 'rose-bushes, when a large limou- sone drew up outside our house and Cousin Vernon got out, in- structed the chauffeur to wait, and came nonchalantly up the path. of the scapegrace himself, in a rather spectacular manner. ' He accepted as I matter of course Mama's invitation to stay to lunch. The visit lasted until late that evening. From what we children could make out, it seemed that our wayward cousin had “had a bit of luck on the stock market, my dears," and was idly enjoying his unaccust- omed wealth before launching into business again. this time as n dealer in cycles, motorcycles and side-cars. So glowing was his account of his prospects (“money makes money, y’know"), and so easy his mantle of self-confident as- following day when he tried to Not long after this. Aunt Grace visited Mama all out of breath and gave her the astonishing newa that she had seen Cousin Vernon walking the London street, as a sandwich-board man. advertising a certain brand of alcoholic liquor. The debate BO to what and how was continued for almost a week. There was the difficulty of get- ting in touch with the object of their charitable intentions. This was solved by the arrival Then Mama decided-that the family should do something, as it was obvious that Cousin ver- non’l short-lived venture into the bulineu life" of Liverpool had met with financial disaster. Vernon as he was now set up in a wholesale truit business and doing well. Pitt TAM-tith Billy Harris bottle feeds on of two pigs he got for a penny. The lbw price was possible because of an old country tale that gift pigs will die. Billy got the pigs from a farmer because the little ones' mother wouldn't feed them.. Their tusks were too large. How Cmisin Vernon, in those cirFurnrunres, could possihly know that he was being saluted by. of all people, a polieeman, is beyond my eorttprehensittrt. But there was no doubt about it. Cousin Vernon had the last laugh-Front "Tit-mu." Ttus police were again slight- lv involved, as it happened Mama, Dad, Uncle BPrt and my- wlf were in the first carriage following the hearse. On the way to the remetory. we came to a crossroads where'there was a policoman on point duty. Seeing the eortege Approach. he held up the traffie for us. and as the hearse passed him he ,oboyed the mstom of the law on such occasions by gravely galutlmz it, . At that moment wet clearly heard, Ind to thin I will swear until my dying day, the sound of n chuckle, I loud tthd un- mistakable chuckle. coming from the interior of the hoarse itself. Uncle Bert said nothing about his five hundred pounds at it looked very much as if he could be considered to be an acces- sory after the fact. And once again there was silence on the subject of the black sheep of our otherwise unronumtie chain. nut-nee that Uncle Bert accepted his offer to come in with him, and wrote out I cheque there and then for two thousand pounds. cash the cheque and was told by his bank lhat there was no account to meet it. We had to give the late but unlamented Cousin Vernon a den cent burial. of course. and thus arose the final incident which, although unexplained and in- deed inexplicable. seemed a " ting farewell' to his life of care- free adventure and intermittent police-dodging. Two days later, an account ar- rived from I ear-hire firm, and as Cousin Vernon had omitted to give anyone his present ad- dress, Unel.e Bert had.to stump up for that as well.. Mama said they were well rid of Cousin Vernon " the price, as he would surely not dare to show his face again. They were wrong. About six months afterwards he arrived, on a Sunday, driving I very snappy open two-seater car and wearing well-cut flannels with a smart sports jacket. He had, as usual, no explanations or apol- ogies to otter, but the sight of tive hundred pounds in cash and a cheque for a further five thou- sand overcame Uncle Bert's out- raged expostulations - until the Until Dad came home one eve- ning, pale and worried-looking. He had been called from his office to go to the police mor- tuary to identify the corpse of a victim of a road accident. The only means of identification on the body was a cigar-case bear- ing a small silver tag inscribed with Dad's name and a token of esteem from his colleagues at Hopkinson & Carew, which he had had presented to him on the occasion of his completing twen- ty-five years' service with the firm. The body was, of course, that of Cousin Vernon, and Dad never did find out how he got hold of the cigar-case. individ: FiitT'kia left leg la Fin-Hy. remember this, you are your brother', keeper. We all have I definite responsibility to other people. So, whenever you Ire swimming or neIr the water, try to keep alert, I almost gasped, but succeeded in making no noise. Then there came an idea. Getting down ever so quietly, I found among my things a Seltzer bottle, which I carried back to the perch at the window. The tiger continued to sleep, and I shot a long stream of Seltzer water directly at his nose. He roused. He brushed at his nose with a paw as if a fly an-. noyed him. I shot an other Iteraxn..,and he appeared more annoyed, brushing his nose but only half awaking. Finally he got up, shook his great head with some exaspera- tion, and walked off into the blackness of the Jingle-From "The Peacock Country," by P ALSTON WARING. water sl ducking any swi 10. If , change 11. Ot Your ' 12. Sm and get vou ttttt swims. Hints For Swimmers Tl 'Dldn’t Lt," Alumna Trapping Jatli,f Water I ' .__--. ____-r_-_~____ .__ ' Gradually the fires died down, and quiet settled in upon us. A light wind stirred the trees Ind brought some relief from the heat. The moon rose, and soon an eerie brightness filled the clearing and enveloped the bungalow, the sleeping bearers, and the line of elephants staked near them. . . . A tree'stood not far distant, making a black shadow. Be- tween me and the tree was a pool' of light, and in this spot of light and directly under me lay a tiger, asleep, breathing long, deep, rhythmically. b inner 'twirn, of yo It must have been several hours later that I awoke. The moonlight continued to pour into the little high windows, and there was stillness all about. save for a peculiar heavy breathing. This was I strange sound. The bearers were too far away. The breathing sound was too heavy, too deep, for I man at any rate. . . . The steady breathing contin- ued. Curiosity overcame fright atter a bit, and I rolled up the bedding and other things and put them against the wall under the window. Standing On these I could just look over the win- dow sill into the moonlight night beyond. It was the window on the opposite side of the bunga- low from the encampment of bearers and elephants. The swimming season is now in full swing and thus the im. portant point of water" safety arises. Here is a list of rules which will help you avoid dang- erous accidents in and around the water, writes Lloyd Perci- val, famous Canadian sports coach and authority. I, Never let your pals kid or dare you into trying to swim farther or dive from a greater height than you are used to. 4. Never dive into water that you don't know all about. Go in without diving and sink feet first to make your investigation, 5, Take a tip and swim along the shore. Don't go out into deep water and then turn to come back. It's just as much fun and it's a hundred per cent later. 6. Never laugh and avoid chewing gum when in deep water-- you may swallow water accidentally and start to choke. Wad can. new the tine a! chm-nt- in the Wu an the at bungalow, the ransom: " which we were to stop for In night, Wu not II: dbum. 'tse KIWI]! I!" on I journey through hi: Btate of Mourbulj. HI rods upon Dov Rd in I great hodeh. followed by members of his um upon other elephInu Ind I [Inc numberatt but.“ c'Irryinl all theme tummy things which I MmquIh and: when ht sou upon I tour . . . . Toward evening we reached the dak bungalow. There we: a greet bustle u the meal wu prepared. There seemed no order to anything. But in the end we were ted, and people found places to steep, some of us in room: in the bungalow where the Mlhnrajah was ‘lodged. while the bearers made i kind of encampment It I little dis- tance. The best way to- avoid water accidents is to avoid the things that cause these accidents. or non take I 2. Always make sure you swim where people can see or hear you. Then, if you do get into trouble, there will be someone around to help you out. 3. No matter how strong I swimmer you are, you should never go tor a long swim, unless you are accompanied by some- one in a boat who is capable of pulling you to safety, if you get into trouble. you: dept l, Make st} [gr slowly, Obey the swimming Mart off tt :ing or two swimming. If you want bout pull l 1. tf children art-swimmers nlong life When using _ r tubes. etc., l, don't play oux depth. get into attempt theie, sure may " and an likd b . Never boat , Ire you l taking two bet the season condition any long signs are in the b make sure , preservers. water wings ' if you ca in water I to tritore boating, I change to shore keeper. We responsibility Bo. whenever ' so out if you go into the eomplete , you do the SU re beach slowly before l avoid a deep V water choke. ',, learn It Ilene u can't he boat are you or seats and can‘c ' out test or " Iorgu' trout ovor caught in western Wisconsin is measured for story-toHing purposes by Yale Noun, who land“! the " inch, 12-pound, H-ounu Gor- man brown Grout "eernduse... He had to land " 150 m.p.h., and 631'- bit; machine could be chock“ he mull. he knew over-hoot the airstrits " was cumin death to: him - or the Friendship is I word the very sight of which in print [nukes the heart warm. When it comes to crazy hats, iust leave it to grandma. At least that's what Charter 115 of the Federated G.rondmothers' Club believes. So they held a Crazy Hat contest and here are the winners: Mrs. R. H. Lambert, top, walked off (a bit unsteadi. Iy) with all the honors for her "Picnicking With My Grand. children in the Park." Mrs. Sophie Lubowski. bottom left, came in second with her creation, which features a hen setting on two hard-boiled eggs in a ncst of yarn. Flag on top reads: "Hatch. ng, Don't Disturb." And Mrs. Jessie Thompson, bottom right, showed up with a fashion that was super back in 19W--ond is still good enough to win the "oldest hat" prize in the contest. Proceeds from the contest went to youth welfare propects the group sponsors. The pilot w." then signalled down. Shortly utter striking the runway he Bew hia under, clrriuge slap into the rope'l middle, wu squarely caught and though he dragged the great chains over two hundred yards, he pulled up Mtsily, with his undercarriage smashed. but um hurt himself. and his precious 'plane designed to carry atomic missiles. intact. A - mm ton up In 'Ye vac-9" ttlt tttye 0;! u;- on. $tWtg Nlot's In. in has an: by te Piloting a super- nonlc Tunas-om bomber, Linnea-n! am “when “the yd Itls Potytd Julian that m: First tried out in Korea, this nylon rope trap gives pilots I second chancé should the wheels or brakes of their aircraft be damaged. Tricky as it sounds to be wrapped up in nylon and chains, it is also sate. This on. upped them all . '"l'iiw, an Hound ma rim and up their nylon may " Eachmcnt. 00959111110! I no (on rope, with nylon netting attaeltod, and tnuned to each end of it I III-ton nun] Bneltor chain, such " duttoycn nor- mally carry. ,, C "', _ ss), ; M If": 'ilrs, _ ' r N f ' ' . . l _. " a ly T J air , ' j V" If; my: _ q a, Ir. tfs": My . - g' v tp.e5 'w', ' PN _ _ ( 1:5. . P ' Il A' we rr a Y, ' wt" s'd . ', , __ V C? T was; , t' , - M R 'i','uk'; It T, ', MEK' e, " . «z? F. aim I' " - “a, wt q l t"' " 'i$lhijr bh' " tet i (hr' x 'if “IQ "' 'ii. _ W =\ ts 15 Kt " - sF431 _ , l I iM - " 's" >33? T g , . _ V 1 "Mt N. 'sic: "r " _ .sh't 'et f ti, a,“ v. _ ‘1 l ' k" , "Va: T .7 . I. " lah s' y a _ F 't ', 3f" T 5 I _ e. . i t, trtiig,tr,: . rt any ' V / l Q I . ' . C 23w; L' ' WT' _ m ”gig E%l e :g , ' Aw > g: 3; a _ N .. I”; _ " V}. .W , , , _ . . , U ";$.?1:-M' Ff, _ e - I C, ' Y', " A g " . A "l, "w', . . " Grandma's Gohe Nuts -- Hatwise Autumn BirnlL Porhop: the ml"W.../ What He Needed Whenever Sir Winston sub.. mits a picture to the Royal Academy it is unsigned and is sent under a pseudonym. Two landscapeguoqce went under tho name of ' r. Winter" and these paintings were duly hung. “Just to paint in great tun," Sir Winston once said. "hinting in complete " a dutmctlon, I know of nothing which, without exnuhating the body, more en- tirely Ibwrbs the mad." The tumor of a horse that w" never in the money culled over I new jockey guly one morning. . wtthpirtto " Win-tan Cura- 111'. study It Citation. his I“ home, you would In “on” the wall: many plytttmt All. bl Sir Winston, In: had very little time for painting lately bat he has always taken his art seriously. He was a pupil of the late Sir John Lavery and 1110 received letsons trom Sir Wil.. liam Nicholson. Waging ' doing stale." he said. "He needs I nit! work-out See what you can do with him." "Yea. "," said the jockey. "You want me to ride him round the track?" etioos. on. to take but to Al’- mu; He chm a study of “akin: unacka with a Moroccan "tting painted at Marrakelh. The pic- ture has since been ttown to Australia - the that pickup by Sir Wham to be "u, thud. It meuum tour hot by three feet in its (rune. F The 'trliner sighed. "No," ho corrected. “Just run in front‘gnd pace him." . painted himuifl'or this your h: complain; togty you; II II Premier, was in the It“, ' little while no admiring the plinth". some ot Web h". been shown at the loyal And.- my. Mr “Hum uhogl Mm Io Ila! Sir Mu lulu“ in than. if: not I Bikini! Thorn 'old In? new!!" “It?! “LIB