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It h't on. u though American-style football makes sense. We a peculiarly unAmerican activity, being uncomfortable and in- etneieat - the sort of game you'd expect some backward race, like the British, to invent It's true that English football is a work- ing-elm genie in which the players weer very unchie running - down to their knees and get very muddy, but at least it's - for the spectator to see that their aim ia to get the ball into the other team's goal, In North American football, no one seems to know what anyone else has in mind, especially the players. This in whr they have to keep putting their heads together and whis- pering to each other because they forget what to do next. Even when they remember, it doesn't seem to help, because it still tiles lo minutes to play 50 seconds of the game. But it’s not true to say there‘s no action in the game; there's always something happening even if it's only a player bleeding quietly to death. And there are occasional flashes of excitement when one of the players runs amok and stamps the smallest opponent into the mud. Nobody taken any notice. except the stompee, because basically football is a blood sport and the spectators turn nasty it there isn't blood on the gran in the first few minutes of the game. For the sake of you women who don't know very much about the game, I‘ll try to explain the finer points. First of all, there are mowed to be 12 men on a team, but this is just a formality as anyone can see by watching a TV game; the field is as crowded as a bargain basement. In fact. when the snow is blowing a blizzard and spectators are frozen to their seats, the coach could send on a herd of yaks wearing helmets over their horns and no one would know the difference. Players are divided into offensive and de- fensive, but this doesn't mean a thing, since they're all {rightfully offensive, after all, this is no game for a shrinking violet. Any player who weighs less than 200 lbs. isn't strong enough to carry around the weight of the amour he has to wear, so this limits the team to men who are pure ivory above the neck. pure elephant below and who think that 'poem' is a dirty word. In the hope of intimidating the enemy beforehand (a relic of primitive magic), teams have ferocious names like Stompers, Bashers, Maneaters. etc. and it wouldn't surprise me to find out that coaches sacrifice a goat or No before the game. The sporting element in football is not emphasized; after all, these guys are out there to win and to hell with sportsmanship. This is why both teams usually have a spotter with binoculars and walkie-talkie up on the stadium roof or some other vantage point to tell the coach about weaknesses in the other team. "Coach, I just noticed that Cookie Hawsparg is limping pretty bad." "Great, Sam! Okay, Merv, you heard that - now go out there and break both his ankles." Here are some handy translations of the strange language used by communicators when describing a football game: may" overn- the hwdmce" - they've already sent for the ambulmce. . “M getting a an: on him” - he's getting an arm off him. "rhe whole “IS in after hill” - the drum majorettes have gone berserk. "Sty into-plate” - they couldn’t find all of the body. 'Nt't t menial” - the rival coach has seen the Light .and is being led away to a monastary. _ timethiagurhastriedtospe11K mon-ts-tua-is-Vee-tttein- turi-e-i-rain-tdid-rr-r/ht yin. lt‘t all I.“ but. He's a more or lea normal Miriam! --se.tt-,tutw-it'otottotimet-tus"urdnr att-to-ttin-ents-rn-nal-tind""'. "oauehtsutt6rtuNetttsatt-tato-ttteturtwitttme; tsr-str-uri-r-ttinthe-hott-st-u', ttrea-tther- limm-ndl‘nhtoolishenough tot-its-tti-tam-tre-to-irish-id eat-5y. Even being out in the ”when that: save me; if nome- mingexclluhimhe'llrmhouxlowhenmlmmdpoundme lovingly. shouting in my ear at the same time. More I can even get under the nble.he's going again. While! 1iutoencourage Ken in his interests, I feel this is going too tar. Why can’t he get in- tended in his stamp collection again? ”they've got trouble at their offensive and” - the players' counts are too tight. . going to tell the funny? “I: “most got any that time" - He was a nice guy - who's “NO. " is calling out to spell Splxlihlek” - this IS the third BE PlltEPNtlliDH. INSTALL Goorgthart SUIUBIAIITES - m no Luann Ion as? m... m. 101nm.) you cum ', - CR. um l m Imam An. N. (a m... u.) m - a. 9.1m Don't put yourself in this picture . . . with winter’s first heavy movie" due any day new I I M locations to Servo You MOTORISTS! -'I Br JOAN "A“! 12, Our lady at Sorrow lam Catholic Church on Royal York Road in decent-d with whit. ‘ehryunthunum may to: the tedding cl '.ueaerit Wilton of ‘Dixon hood. and Ferdinand Jou- jeph Kuner ot SW10 Drive. Reverend tether hunch Bonn :otticiated with Reverend Fuller lllani lamina. - Given in marriage by her (Ith- er, the bride chou shimmering white pew de sole for her full Ilength [on with chapel train. The fitted bodice tenured a scoop neckline Ind ee-quarter length from point I§I and the shirt was bell sin \Her ringer-tip veil of tulle illusion was attach- ed to I Princess Margaret crown lot pearls and the curried 1 white ‘prayer book crested with white hardening and sweetheart tom. B She was attended by her sister Gayle as maid of honor and four bridesmaids: Miss Barbara Kar- ner, slate: of the groom; Miss Judy Krupa. cousin of the bride; Mrs. Margaret Veechey and Miss Mary Ellen Malone. Five-year- old Darlene Blackman was the flower girl. All wore lice topped bell shap- ed peau de soie gown: with the maid of honor and flower girl in gold and the maids in taupe. Matching headpiece: adorned their hair and they carried nose- gays of burnt orange sweetheart roses and bronze Chrysanthe- mums. Following the ceremony a wed- ding breakfast was held at the Old Mill. with the reception held later at the Islington Legion Hall. The bride's mother received guests in a smart mink t8mmed two-piece ensemble of gold bro, cade which she wore with a mink chapeau and corsage of burnt orange roses and bronze chrysan- ithemums. The groom was attended by his best man, John Beecher, and ushers: Robert Craig, Christopher Barltrop, Bruce Quincey and his brother Kevin. Seven-year-old Wayne Cherry of London, tht- tario, was the ring bearer. 'l 1963 FORD FAIBLANE 243MB h Eteetrie Wall" and Wiper. Balance Mew Cor WovnMy Couple Honeymoon In Europe Following Islington Wedding She was assisted by the groom's mother wearing a charming gown of sapphire blue crepe with matching hat, silver-mink stole and orchid corsage. {theme-n honeymoon trip to Eu . the bride changed into a dart blue two-piece ensemble of Italian romaine, champagne beige aecessories and gardenia Corsage, They now reside in Weston. It costs about 50 per cent more to drive at 80 miles an hour than at Mt. " mu m1 onion an. um I ooririrriatoitroiriiiimerosioroiisr" 1951 PBEFEGT 1067 METEOR 1900 GUNS“. 4-000: s295$ 'tar,. s595io so MORE ro CHOOSE FROM NEW um FINANCE BATE " Low " ta no“ TIME IS RIGHT TO IUY --AT-- Automatic ELMWOOD MOTORS LTD. A-DOOR 2-000! WE NEED THE ROOM OUT THEY GOH. Mr. and Mrs. Ferdinand Kernel smile happily as they sign the register following their recent marriage in Our Lady of Sor- rows Roman Catholic Church, Royal York Rd. Bride is the for.. mer Rosemarie Wilton of Dixon Rood. Mrs. w. E. Jack, Ashbourne Drive, is not only Ist vice-presi- dent of the Women's Auxiliary of the Toronto Western Hospital, but she is chairman of the Shop, and as such, was able to report at their annual meeting last Mon- day that Shop receipts totalled $79,000, an increase of 14% thou- :sand over last year. Among the Etobicoke members of the Western Hospital Auxili- ary are Mrs. W. J. Adamson, St. George's Road; Mrs. C. M, Allan, Kingsfold Court; Mrs. L. H. Balmer, Kinsdale Blvd.; Mrs. D. E. Barnett, Applewood Dr.; Mrs. At. D. Bell, Twytord Road; Mrs. R. S. Braiden, The Kingsway; Mrs. Gordon Bremner, Anglesley Blvd; Mrs. R. E. Brown, Wilgar Road; Mrs. P. G. Brown, Bernice Ave.: Mrs. Cecil Bridgeman, Ra- l,vensbourne Drive: Mrs. Douglas ‘Cook, Strath Ave.; Mrs. J. S. ‘Crawford, Sir William's Lane; Etobicoke lates Play Key Role In Western Hospital Auxiliary ? 1962 Ford Galaxio 1 1m Volkswagen 4-DOOR 2-000! Automatic as is Mrs. C. E. Crompton, Vaiecrest Drive; Mrs. Bertram Ellis, Kings Lynn Road; Mrs. Louis Fagan, Old Mill Terrace; Mrs. D. B. French, The Kingsway; Mrs. J. in Hall, Pinehurst Cres.; Mrs. c. Ts, Hewitt, The Kingsway; Mrs. ‘W. H. Johnston, Glen Ellen Dr.; Mrs. W. H. LeGallais, King George's Road; Mrs. R. J. Lun- ldy, Wendover Road; Mrs. A. L. (MacKenzie, Islington Ave.: Mrs. mice Meredith, Old Mill Road; Mrs. W. G. McKeown, Duncairn Drive; Mrs. F. T. Pearson, High- ‘gme Road; Mrs. K. A, Perfect. fueen Mary's Drive: Mrs. W. E. Jthodes, Abilene Drive; Mrs. A. t Simons, Burnhamthorpe Cres.; Mrs. G. B. Smith, Sunnylea Ave.; Mrs. J. D. Sinclair, Aber- foyle Cres.: Mrs. F. G. Willmot, 170 LAKESHOI! ID. E. 1954 "MIAMI! 4-009l s1595 'M5-.e, 1958 GHEV. CONVERTIBLE s75g Wendover Road; Mrs. H. T. Wright, North Drive; Mrs. R. J. Angus, Berry Road; Mrs. Lorne Carpenter, Pinehurst Cres.; Mrs. C. M. Corbett, Ashton Manor; Mrs. W. J. Cryderman, The Kingsway; Mrs. J. H. Miller, Kings Lynn Road; Mrs. H. L. Rowntree, Finchley Road; Mrs. H. B. Lane, The Kingsway; Mrs. W. D. Piercey, Norseman Ave.; Mrs. E. J. Vany, Thompson Ave.; Mrs. K. P. Vassal, Edenbridge Drive, and Mrs. Hartley Weldon, .Northolt Court. A shopping party. featuring handicrafts from that section of the Shop, followed the annual meeting. which had been pre- ceeded by a casserole luncheon. WESTWAY TICKET AtMNCIFs, FOR ALL SPORTING & THEATRICAL EVENTS O'KEEFE CENTRE - BALLET FOLKLORICO 0F Mexico-December an. to December 2tst. Fries $2.13 to $5.50. Matinee: $1.50 to .00. O'KEEFE CENTRE - DYLAN - Stirring ALEC GUINNESS, Dec. " to Jon. It. Pricu $2.M " $5.00 - Marin" $T.50 " $100. MAPLE LEAF GARDENS - CURLING IONSPIEL - January Ist, 2nd, 3rd and “IL $T0.00 for 4 days. TELEGRAM - MAPLE LEAF TRACK MEET - January 24%. Prices: 'tatt, $1.50, $3.Mt and $4.50. ICE FOLLIES - Jan. 27th to Feb. 1nd. Prices: tr.S0, $2.50, $3.50 and $4.50. MASSEY HALL - CANADIAN HOOTENANY - Jan. IE. Prices: $3.50, $2.75, $2.00, $1.50. SMOTI‘IERS BROS. - Feb. " - Prices: $4.50, $3.M, $2.75, $2.00. ORDERS ARE NOW BEING ACCEPTED FOR ALL THE ABOVE SORRY, NO PHONI ORDERS - FOR INFORMATION PHD"! CH. 1-1403 This ad, if clipped and wanna, is worth 250 of! any "the! purchase, Expires Jan. IS. only one cupping "rmittmt for "on 3 "duh amend. WESTWAY PLAZA .4:qu 1951 METEOR 1960 METEOR 300 - 4-DOOR $1795; Asrttrmtrtie - Radio s595$ 2-DOOR TICKETS Cl 1-H "e.astlrinttmtrteerett" m nan-ha to Tun-nu 8m.nna¢lr.undln J.a-adAideewttod. ennui Strut. Wood Th0 1'Sgtu', w uh place tut- urdgy, saber. u at , pan. in Aldenood'l Church of Atom- mm with Reverend, P. W. Poo- le, "Melia. A mention will follow It the Mayfair Inn. Mineeunnoom uneven have beengivmsbvthemaidothonttr, ul- Deirdre Kane, Acorn Ave., hiington; Mrs. W. Ray-nob, Mth Street; Mm. William Dunby and Gamma Street newborn. A preseestatimt wu made by the brlde-tsbe's buu'neu uno- cintu and her mm, Mm. Nar- ma George, (Ive I personal shows Attendant by relatives at her home an Agar Creseent, l.- Name Mrs. h. McKay Chairman 91 Mimico Branch 0.G.H. Auxiliary Huston. The United States has about " per cent of the earth's latest are; BrideToBe Sharon Jam Much Feted The Mimico Branch of the Queenswny G e n e ra 1 Hospital Auxiliary held its Christmas par- ty in the form of a Pot Luck Luncheon, and exchange of gifts, after which the meeting and elec- tion or officers took place. Mrs. A. MacKay was named Chair- man. With Mrs. S. Harte, Past Chairman, Mrs. C. Eggett and Mrs. H. M. Griggs, Vice-Chair- man; Secretary, Mrs. G. Clark- son; Treasurer, Mrs, E. Topping; Chairmen of Various Committees: Gift Shop, Mrs. G. Good; Flowers, Mrs. R. McGibbon; Surrey, Mrs. P. J, Bolsby: Runner Service, Mrs. V. Drape; Publicity, Mrs. S, Harte; Program, Mrs. H. M. Griggs: Sick and Sunshine, Mrs. J. A. Foster. “The next meetmg will be held in the Mimico Beach House on Friday afternoon, Januar 3 where KIPLING & DIXON ROAD Win-h in the hunter ot " CHEVROLET “I Air ' ’AISIIOII. STAT!” WAGON. A m! “mm cu. " avian-0k "mum-Ian. Man it "et, " M marvel-ha. In" 'rlu ROSS WIMP MOTORS WB. UNBEATABLE USED CAR W BARGAINS AT ROSS WEMP'S II new mom: 4-000! [IDLE 6-er"ethe, own " In gleam!" but. A ole. - clued 'f'll'g can "In. to .00 u m :1” N" who " 7 1956 CHEVROLET, 4.4m 'r,1')t,'a,U.'r'r/su"dur" m mania: ttu. “w 'iiiiF'idii?iiiH""'G W'FYWPq I . l'OYHII " CNIVI " rm: t,"J,"' $1lithi We Ah. Hm TV: "3 Chunk. _ CortverNbus. UM VI, AM“: WM '".I Show!” Amd Iain. Soil! um. New Cor “any Wan-My. 19)“ FORD WAGON ' AISINOII. STATION I 2 s 5 - 91 M You! Lohuhm Chev, Chm ll, Walla, Con-h. Dunning, Chev. Truck Doubt LOW DOWN PAYMENT . . . EASY GMAC TERMS GREEN BELX FOR THE MAN wrmv A FAMILY! 1959 CHEVROLET STATION WAGON 2749 Lake Shore Ilvd. Wert (of In St.) NEW TORONTO SPECIAL ". “It in W1 ”I'll-Mammal Mmmywmd'l'w “Pay ot t. on", at mm. and their Down an RN. M. a hull; the Camera. at ti MW: but: can” dub. A: is tradition tho - continue! blueand white chock- talk music. The club in open Friday nights from nine o'clock until one o'clock, and “you who canes it made a member. Within " woeh the member- ship in well into the hundreds and any Irrofits are used tor tttq work at an ydung people. The purpou of the 'Cam.N lye' is Murrow the young peo- ple ot Toronto the huinan lid. ot Church as well u the spirit- ual side, end an. clot. and idlq lun- A few Btobicoke young peo- ple have visited the club and any that it is certainly something new and worthy of support. CHRISTMAS SHIT! Moat Young Peoples' bunting: Ire caught up in the Spirit ot Christmas goodwill u is St. Matthew's. Over seventy AYen from' the parish will be carol- ing Chrigtmaa Eve for the nick Unique tamd' s Eye Coffee h i,tts,J,iitt:!tftt?li,hll).t,rj, plans will be made for the An- nual Valentine Tea. Project will be "A Memorial" in The Queens- way General Hospital in memory of Miss Mary Fear, a former member, and a faithful volunteer worker. On retiring as Chairman Mm. Harte thanked all the members for their faithful service and co- operation at all times. Mrs. Mae- Kay on behalf of the members.of the Mimico Branch, presented Mrs. Harte with a set of jewel- lery. Ihitpe tiimtl'slirt()rfftt)ltust f I Did you know . . . YES, IMMEDIATE DELIVERY IF YOU ACT FASTY. AND NO PAYMENTS UNTIL FEBRUARY'. H. E. "ihlW' SIMPSON MOTORS LTD. 3100-00 I789 LAKESHORE HWY. E. CLARKSON I984 Rambler 61 CQIVAII Menu 62 CHEVROLET Impala 62 OLDSMOQILE Super CONVEIYIILE, VI, 0 u , I M . t I c, WWII 'teerie" I“ but”. "Ila, wan-um, window In» ' who“ - $23M Full uric! 1-000. NAIOTOP. all In." 00”- um have!” may "cm" and ur".., A roll who m Mr. 2595 Full who moon. may. you.“ um. WILL DELIVER A BRAND NEW To You In Time For christian! (T0 RESPONSIBLE PARTY) 62 CHEVROLET Bel Air 4-door Sedan Awtomotie, "din, vim uni-on ind other _ 11152353 311'. 'gd." °" . "" SIB“ 63 PONTIAC CONVERTIBLE V-l. automatic, radio, Inch! no“, Fuo, sh“! with console, vow" steerirm, ink-n, Finished in "m'trte white. This ban” in will under an: my “any runny. Only 9,900 mites. Full Price $3195 I957 crewman 2 door, hardtop V-l, oert._rt.t4e, 'odio, on. A ml like at and tut-tn They will any old-W Intern to tdd " A Pot Luck lunch“ a m hon. at In G. J. Jam“. Prince George De., was I popular "eat tor the Bitsordaie-Kipliitg Brunch ot the Qu-emwny Hospiul Aux- ililry to wind up 1.03. . . A short hm meeting took place followed by auction of Mb iuen for 1904. The new chair- mnn win be In A. A, Marshall, Prince George Dr.; vice - chair- man, Mn. Earle Kelly; secretary, Mn. Murray Cross, Wan-clue Dr.; Wren Mm. Glen Yule, Sedu- Windup 10'63 Auxiliary Season brook Cree. The next meeting will be held Thursday, January 3467 Lulu Show Blvd. W. (M " 3M 50.) Phone 251-8215 Riki}? Bil-130M iios -, can. In not but WM. klingm chm-n all 133-l”0 " - LAME - wm I USI OUR XMAS LAY-AWAY Any ”3.9.359,“ W.” at mm GIFT SPECIALS! BONUS SPECIAL i; I'll-ti" if} _ FREE“ .221 3ou. PIE-HOLIDAY cop-h WVIW Hum" - In. lmmr, A ml morph. Pal Irk. M. 8-5501 mini-ii, halo: mi than“ Jtt "rr"., noun rot QUICK SALE Tm: WllK-IND "" Punk: 4 000! SEDAN of the old-til. trenF 3; BIN vii