Page 4, Thursday, December 9th, 1971, WHIT13Y FREE PRESS * s'FROM A I9RD'Si EYE VIEW "lMo ther Be'l 1"I 1111 neyer under stand you. Take yesterday, for examp le. I was looking up the number of a school in Tor- on to in the phone book. Fat chance! I met with absolutely no success and as a last resort' I looked ti "Toronto, City of'Il. There was no such thing. If you want to cal1 ci tyhall for any government bur- eau you have to look up "City Hall1 Com- plex"l in the Whitby phone book! An yw ay I neyer did f ind the school n u mber so I c al1 led information. You guessed it.. the 1lines were tied up and I got asilken-voiced recording. If ai1 the information 1I mes are busy at 9:30 a. m. what chance does a person have of getting through at a peak t ime 1like 2:00 p. m. ? Af ter numerous tries 1 finally got through and exp lained to the information g-irl 1Iwas trying tophone acertain school. She said the Board of Educat ion w o u1d have the num ber so she gave me a number tocal . 1 thanked her'and hung up. I s h o uld n't have thanked her. She gavqTIe the num ber of the Board of Ed- ucat ion for Retardedkids,. They gave me a number to calI, and so it went for 15 minutes. I fînally got through but my b 1 0o6 d pressure m u s t have been dan- g e rously high and 1 arn sure I sounded. more than a little impatient when I fin- aIly reached the school in question. Un fortunately the above is only one of many futil1e exerci ses to be had whil1e trying to figure out the system Bell1 Tel - ephone uses to 1list numbers in the phone -hy Jirn uai books. My fingers have neyer beeh able to w al1k through the yell1ow pages, i t' s more like they hop, skip, jump and trip through them. Take page 206for example. Don Val - leyVolkswagenLtd. is Iisted under the V'S for Volkswagen, instead of under the D'sbecause "ID"IIs the first initial in a n a me. Going by that system we woul d I o ok under the BI's to f ind a boutique, but not so b ec a use "lWhere Legs Meet Boutique" is Iisted under the W's or the first initial in the narnie. How corne Ma Bell ? As 1 understand it the Motor Vehicl e B ranch is a division or an agency of the province. So looking under Govern- ment of Ontariol1don't find it. lt's listed un der the MI s for motor. Okay l'Il use the system to look up the number of the Ontario Provincial Police. Wrong again. . .it's listedunder theP's, not tbe O's. "Pl for Provincial Police. How do you figure it? On page 194 there is a l isting for'Fos- kett Motors and the number says, - See Howard Motors. What the heck! It took more t o write, "lSee Howard Motors"l than it wouîd have to just write in the correct number. 1 supposeMa Bell1 woul d thenwant a double rate for two listings j u st because t h ey actual ly 1listed the number twice. On page 191 radio station CHOO is I i s ted before Caiger. Why ? I"H" does n ot c orne before "AI' in my alphabet. CHOO should corne after "lChong"l on page 192. Now 1 know Ma Bell will have lots of good reasons why their l istings are cor- rect and 1 amwrong but reaî ly. . I thought the tel ephone book was supposed to be a service for ail Bell subscrib.ers. If the p eo pl1e who use the phone books can 1t figure them out, Ma Bell, your service is in need of improvements. 1lhad a teacher who always said, "If you have to explain tome what you're trying to say then scrap it and start rewriting because it's no.. . good!" Ma Bell1 hear me! 153 IMC E'S. S. T*É SHO- OSAW ,ON. 2-62 Solution on Page 17 ACROSS DW 1 Devours DW 5 Ribbed f obric 1 Alphabet letter 8 Woman's name 2 Cry of surprise 12 Ruler of Iran 3 Label 13 Turmoit 4 Icy dessert 14 Eager 5 Swift 15 Wise 6 Paradise 16 Energy 7 QuickbeOd 17 G rasslond of Af rica 8 Black bird 18 Large animal 9 Above 21 Investigated 10O Silage bin 24 Actor Johnson il Sumsup 25 Stream 19 The gi rl's 26 Wager 20 Feline 27 Eurasian bird 21 Bow of aship 30 Leave out 22 Frost 31 Au to 23 Roman poet of yore 32 Wait 26 Wirged mammol 33 Ma~rry 27 Dismal 34 Speck 28 City in Arobia 35 Enices29 Direction 36 Total31Rmr 37 inci te 32 Awkward rusticfellow 38 Simpleton 34 Duet 42 Scent 35 Card game 43 Cr pk 36 Threaded nail 44 Mo na rch 3 ik 48 Give medicine to 38 Bows the head 49 Isc g 39 False god 50 Notion 4 aepr 51 Wgirsh 41 Couple 52 Attempt 45 Actress Lupino 53 Apprehends 46 Beak ___________47 Cor fuel JOHN AN Mctean FUELS 0 Fuel 011 OSteve 9:il : SUNOCO« & Servie Clarence Roper John Maclean 668-4462 579-0151 TAUNTON ROAD Just East cf Rltson Rd. &LLLi. 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