Have you pledged your life to the government yet? I don't mean working for the government or anything easy like that, I'm referring to the barbaric custom of pledging all we own to the government through a process called "Income Tax". For some reason or other I haven't gotten around to filing ny income tax yet this year. I suspect it's a deep rooted problem with my subconscious - Since I have this great affinity for money - especially my own, my subcon- scious knows what a trying time, mentally, incoie tax preparation is for me and so it just puts the whole thing out of my mind until the deadline looms so close, I have to face the moment of truth. One year I didn't file until after the end of the month but that really isn't a problem to Ottawa unless you owe them money in which case they will fine you. If the government owes you money you can file as late as you want - something like seven years - but don't expect them to pay you any interest on the pioney they owe you. Of course the big problem is that you have t work out the on... This week I am taking off for a short trp to the United States, and, if you don't hear fron me in a week's time or so, please don't push the panic button. Simply, it will indicate that I'm somewhere in New York City, either chas- ing girls on the East Side, spending evenings at Saki's or strolling up and down Eighth Avenue and enjoying the sexorama. Anyway, I hope to have a really good time. New York is the place to go. However, before I leave Canada, I must comment onthe energy conference in Ottawa which brought Canada's ten premiers together. As expected, they couldn't agree on anything, let alone the mounting energy crisis, unemploy- ment and the ever sky-rocketing inflation. For the first time I can remember, Prime Minister Trudeau made sense by putting forth tough questions to union leaders, asking them to explain the recent high salary settlements. Also Finance Minister John Turner brough t up some good points. Interestingly enough, Turner has said that he's all for the price and wage controls, if those measures could get the country's economy out of the slump. Isn't this exactly what I have been advocating for years in this column? Can anyone remember my election column where I clearly stated that price and wage controls is the only way out of the deteriorating economic situation? At that time a number of my ir ate readers blasted me by saying, "Oh, that Kalnins, he does not know what he's talking about. He's crazy. He's full of hot air. Probably, he's wearing Stanfields' underwear". Stantield's underwear or not, the economic picture of this country is quite clear to me: Canada is still going downhill. This I discovered the other day when I went to my bank to purchase American dollars. I was told that on $250.00 I had to pay approximately three dollars more on ex- change. The message was loud and clear. The Canadian dollar is weakening while the American dollar had increased in its value though by a small margin. The biggest danger to this country at the present time comes from the labor unions. The pay hikes are unreason- able. Any wage increase over ten per cent per annum is inflationary. What it means to an average worker is this: every time your salary goes up, your buying power goes down. The Canadian dollar becomes weaker in internation- al markets. How can one reconcile less production and more money? If this free money supply trend continues, soon we will have barrels full of money-practically of no value. A hundred dollars will buy a sandwich or a glass of wine. A car could cost several hundred thousands of dol- lars. This will bring the Canadian dollar on the par with the once-famous German Reichsmark. Have you lately seen a German Reichsmark which was so popular in Nazi Germany? Well, I saw one recently at a coin dealer. It's definitely a collector's item. Do I sound too pessimistic? Not at all. I have lived through one depression, although I didn't know what the word depression meant at that time. Today, I know the true meaning of the word and, pardon me for saying, I'm all set for another economic set back. FOOD SPOILAGE At least 80% of food spoilage is caused by sealing failures-so homemakers be sure and follow the recommended procedures for home, canning. ALTERNATIVES Alternative protein sources in- clude milk. cheese. yogurt. nonfat dry milk, eggs. dry beans, soy grits, seeds, nuts. peanut butter, whole grain and soy bean curd, return before the end of April just in case you owe the government money instead of vice versa. Since I've never been any great shakes at mathematics the whole process of trying to. find out who owes what is a grade "A" headache for me. Things become complicated even further because I read most of the local newspapers and towards the end of April all of them give tips on how to beat the tax manwith various tricks and deductions which are all supposedly legal if you can figure out just how they apply to your case. The old saying, "A little bit of know- ledge is a dangerous thing" certainly applies in this case because indescriminate deductions might precipitate a tax investigation of your returns up to ten years back. Some people are naive enough to think that if they can't figure out the returns then a tax man will never be able to find out if they're cheating or not but when it comes to squeezing money from the public I know the experts are up in Ottawa. We have tax experts too of course, people who will for money (what else?) fill out your income tax for you and guarantee that you won't have to pay a penal- ty if they make a mistake. I've never taken my tax return to one of these places for two reasons: the first is that I'm not sure I could explain ail my deductions and wayward T-4 slips and exempt insurance policies and it would take me the best part of a week even if I could. The second is that if I do the return myself and mess it up I have the pleasure of knowing I'm going to throw a screw into the works of that great computer in Ottawa and when the machine starts screaming "tilt" they'll have to stop ft and withdraw my return. It will then be handled by a real live human being whom I know to be more understanding and quicker to sort out problems than a preprogrammed and very disin- terested soldly logical computer. After all would a computer understand that when a man lives alone lie considers his cat as his dependent? If I was Whity Theatre Company Musical Revue "A musical revue with something for all ages and ail tastes", is the way Bert Hea- ver describes the show he has written and directed for the Whitby Theatre Company spring production. The format is fifty years of show business, covering the period from the twenties to the seventies. The show comprises comedy skits, spoofs on people in show business as well as people in politics, local and regional. There will also be singers, dancers, specialty numbers, and an audience participation sing along during the two- hour program. For the young people it should provide some laughs at the things that turned mom and dad on, such as singer Rudy Vallee whose- main prop was a megaphone. For the not-so-young, the show provides more than a touch of nostalgia as it progresses through the years of Jolson; unforgettable dance sequences by George Raft and Dolores Del Rio; film clips of W.C. Fields in some hilarious chase scenes; some scenes of Canada between the World Wars; the Andrews Sisters; Billy Holi- day; numbers from the most popular Broadway shows; impressions of some of the greats in show business; right on to the seventies where the show pays tribute to entertainers such as Anne Murray. The Soap Opera should strike a nerve with some of the gals. This musical revue will be presented at the theatre in the Centennial Building, Centre Street South, April 22 23, 24, 25. There will be a special performance for Senior Citizens April 21.. Tickets arc still available at Middletons Bookstore, or at the theatre door. Curtain time is 8:30 p.m. Faceile Royale Facelle Royale Towels 2's *78 Crest Toothpaste 100 MI. Bromo Seltzer Family Size 5.2 oz. 099 WHITBY FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16,1975, PAGE 5 out of work for any reasons and couldnt afford cat food my Duchess would be virtually abandoned therefore I must be her provider. To her and myself cat food is a very real deduction. She can't survive without it and I can't afford it. So either I claim it or make her eat people food. I also considered claiming her as a deduction under the heading of "expenses for property guard services" but once again would a computer realize just how efficient a cat can be as a watchdog? If women can wear men's pants why can't a cat be a watchdog? Although they (Ottawa) have made some progress in the wording of the income tax return form it still leaves to be desired. I swear if they could have thrown in a few of, "the party of the first part rnust be in compliance withthe party of the second part" they would probably have done so just to try to intimidate more money out of us. So once again this year I'm caught in the old trap of running out of time to file my income tax. I'm sure the government will owe me money but I have to determine this before the end of the month in case I'm wrong and just going through the whole exercise puts me off govern- ment people and mathematics for months to come. I was thinking die other day that if you don't pay for your car they show up and repossess it and if you don't pay your property taxes they take your house and sell it. Maybe if I couldn't pay my income tax Ottawa would repossess me thus freeing me of worrying where my next meal was com- ing from. Who knows, maybe they'd put me up in Harold Ballard's old room. Turn what you don't want into' cash: with Free Press Ads! 668-6111 -J BROMQ *RLTZER Noxzema Skin Cream 2/4 oz. Jars 1.19 Sudden Beauty Hair Spray 16 oz. .99 Johnson & Johnson Baby Powder 14 oz. 1.09 Tampax 40's 1.59 Confidets 12's Limited quantity on all itenms - April 16th to 19th, 1975. *.69 77- ,Y,