Not long ago, a British newspaper reported that American oil billionaire J. Paul Getty, who died recently in London, England, had named 12 women in hiswill. A number of them, said the paper, can recall romances and close friendships with the tycoon. It was also reported that the late lPaul Getty, who had more money than Howard Hughes, had kept an assortment of women under his wing: princesses, aristocrats, commoners, old maids, spinsters, budding actresses and just plain Janes. Now, after his death, some of these women suddenly have become wealthy. His wills include lucrative shares, oil stocks, bonds and cash payments. This is all very nice, but I don't think that the "will business" is an exclusive show-off item only to those who had ammassed millions and billions of dollars during their life time. Mind you, it looks good, if one can say: "Hey, honey, when I die, I will leave you a cool million" or "Don't worry, darling, you'll be looked after for the rest of your (sweet) life. When I die, you can have the castle, my Rolls-Royce, my WHITBY Villa in St. Tropex and my yacht, which cost me half a million bucks alone". Sound impressive? Indeed. Now, I switch you over to Poor Alex (yours truly) to show you what he has in his bag of goodies for his ex-sweethearts, girlfriends, mistresses, golddiggers and hangers-on. I have been working on this 'will' for some timé, trying to-figure out whâ I should leave to my women, since they al, have bee* very generous to me-not money wise, mind you. Thus, I feel I should leave something to each one of these pretty companions, so that they will soniehow remember me, if not always with the kindest words. Now, here is my treasured list. To Lily: A pair of clean boots (three years old) and a half adozen unwashed socks, plus my transistor radio, old love records by Frank Sinatra, broken vacuum cleaner and three empty soap boxes. Since Lily has been so good to me, she can also have the record player (the most expensive item in my household) and a film developing tank worth $1.50. On top of that, I include, in my will, three brand new towels, a worn-out chesterfield and two 50-cent wine glasses. To Mary: An Air Canada one-way ticket to Florida, a defunct darkroom with brolken safe-lights, stained developing trays and outdated film-not exceeding five rolls. Mary is also entitled to have my tom blanket, two pillows (both odd colors) and absolutely useless hair dryer. Since Mary's contributions were the best in Alex's one-room basement mansion, she can receive only FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 11, 1976, PAGE 5 one penny a month off my Bell Canada shares. To Elleen, ny very British ex-girlfriend: All the handkerchiefs I can find in my bedroom, all classical records (Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart and Schubert), drug pouch (not to be used for suicide purposes); and a tea kettle. She can have everything that is very British. including ol British newspapers and m'agazines. Tb Patty, my'ÿex-mistress: All love-aids she can find, a perfume bottle worth 10 dollars, a make-up kit, a bed. one camera and two floodlights. After my untimely death, Patty is also allowed to cart away French and Italian wine bottles (some half-empty) and a portable TV set - black and white picture only. Finally, to Suzy, my ex-golddigger: A bankbook with a zero balance, three enpty pots and pans, an empty fridge (the latter is'partly broken) and four pairs of shoelaces. If it looks that my will may, not be terribly generous in the light of today's affluent society, this should not deter me from remembering some of my closest friends -- mostly women. But, they forgot one thing - that Alex lived in the days of-mounting inflation and world-wide austerity-unlike most men who lived on credit cards. All possessions mentioned in my will have been long paid up in cold cash, thus truly representing the face value of my dwindling fortune. Have you ever noticed that it's the little things that1 you rather than the earth-shaking events like typhoon floods. Misplacing the extension cord to the electricc can cause more aggravation than finding out the pric going up on a gallon of gasoline or your favourite bo In the case of the latter, I think we all tend to shru shoulders and take the attitude that there isn't muci can do about the increase anyway so what the heck, worry? Knowing that things do tend to bug us all year that we're all quite happy to get away from our jobs a while we have a custom in North America of taking or three weeks' holidays and just plain escaping to cottage country or whatever. The problem is that ge ready for the holidays and the quiet enjoyment of having to worry or work often nearly drives a person nervous breakdown. Because you only get two or three weeks you tr plan so that everything will go right, nothing forgotten and everything at home will survive while y gone - such as pets, plants and the pile of mail. I'm if my doctor had seen the state I was in two days bef was to leave on holidays he would have ordered me1 to work for a rest. I can't remember the namec principle but it states to the effect that - everything can go wrong will go wrong. It did. If you've been mad at the weatherman then y sympathize with me when I tell you that the first nig •my holidays it poured rain and lanced lightning. I wa marina making last minute arrangements for a boat and marinas and water aren't my favourite place things during a lightning storm. Of course if you'reg on a boat for a couple of weeks you have to havef Pizzerias aren't tob fond of delivering to the mid some lake so it meant buying groceries and doin cooking. Cooking I don't mind, washieg up I hate grocery shopping I put on a par with buying shoe getting a haircut. Because my holidays were ok'da last minute I had to rush around and part of that in finding a grocery store that was open until 10 p.m. I arrived at about 9:35 p.m. and rushed throug aisles trying to remember and think about all the a 1 would. need. (0f course writing a list out ahead of time would have been far to0 logical) Most of the meat was already on the trucks headed back to the cooler for the nigst as were the vegetables so 1 had to pick and choose frodi what was still sling out. Canned goods fairly flew into the buggy and if there is a1 speed linîiit f'or buggies in the aisies l'mi sure 1 exceeded it. It wasn't miy regular store so 1 had to look tor what 1 w\anted and then ai i1O to 10 the lighits in the aisies wvent oui as a reniinder to the customners to0 head for the cheekouts as it wvas closing timre. 1 grabbed a few more at articles and headed for the checkout while mientally trying to calculate howv much the groceries would corne to and hoping 1I hao. enoughi in miy pockets. 1 did and the groceries were puit into one of those bug plastic tubs and headed outside. 1 ran out andI got the s and car, drove up lu the conveyor beli and grabbed mny drill plastic buckel and Ioaded it into the car. 1 found this ce method time-taking because I usually carry my own oze. groceries out to the car. As 1 returned the plastic bgour ucket the conveyor belt 1 noticed by the presence of hgour another full bucket that ai least 1 wasn't the lasi customer h we why out of the store.,When I got home 1 found out 1 was wrong and ahedther bucket hadbeenrr'ine as well. and It was well afier midnight and 1 was missing haîf my £-or g..roceries! - 1 didn't have enoughi money, to shop -again in- Fs te morning and1would fot be able tofsetoe uporh )te thus putling îhem on the spot to remember if a customer tting had left his groceries one night some lime ago. Fnot to a 1 made some phone calîs, got an assistant manager out of bed and retrieved my groceries and had themu packed ryby 2:00 a.m. With the worst over towen to bed dreaming ge ts of the stan of my holidays the next day. f course the getsr next day came as they invarîably do and 1 got squarect ou re i sure away aboard my boat and eventually hieaded off irito the sure sunset. ove I That nighit I ran out of gas at 9:00 a.m. in the middle back of a swarp in lake Scugog and the next day after some ,y the kind soul gave me a gallon and a haf to get me to the of th newould rna. (fonts wriingalist oktaead o tieot ou can hIt of s at a trip, s and going food. dle of ng the e and s and at the cluded h the rticles The offices of DIAMOND AND FISCHMAN, Barristers & Solicitors, 122 Brock Street South, Whitby and HYMAN, DIAMOND & FISCHMAN, Barristers & Solicitors, 136 Simcoe Street North, Oshawa, are now carrying on the practise of Law under the name of: DIAMOND AND FISCHMAN, Barristers & Solicitors, 58 Rossland Road West, Suite 1, P.O. Box 1040, OSHAWA, Ontario. LIÎH 7N2 Phone Number - Oshawa 723-5243 Toronto 868-0806 Open 7 das G week Apleleaf RESTAURANT 120 BROC* ST. M. .WHITBY - TEL.: 668-9461 Delicious Conodion ond Italion Dishes The Fiat 128. It handles four. And it's fun to handle. Standard or Custoin models. Plus a wagon and a snazzy hatchback coupe. Whichever way, the Fiat 128 is rugged, roony - and, with front-wh'cl drive, it liandlcs beautifully. Corne give it a whirl. Cars for people who love to drive. MARIAN AUTO - I stopped in a small town and had them cut me a piece at 1 stopped in a small town and had themn cut me a piece at a hardware store and 20 miles downstream when I finally got a chance to stop and replace the window I found out the clerk had rnistakenly cut the piece an inch short. Next year l'n fot taking any holidays. My nerves couldn't take it. Entries judged Children's art festival ends "summer program A children's art festival at Iroquois Park Arena Tuesday was the final event of the Wetby Recreation Depart- ment's surmmer playgroun program. Three judges, Linda Paulocik, director .of the Whitby Arts Statio'sGallery; Mrs. Kaiser, childrebs Pblic' .baryat ndthe rWhitby Publie sLibrary, and -Eric- Brydges, supervisor of the Kinsmen Park pool awarded prizes to the best artists fronamong nearly 200 children who The craft session was held from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. with judging in the final two hours. Crafts included decoupage, tye dying finger painting, wire craft, macrame, corn husk doils, pop bottle craft, sand painting, saw dust molding, and tin foil craft. "EäWh chld"ýà s"äà ked to submit one craft made at his or her playground. Judging took place for age groups of five and six, seven and eight, nine and 10 and Il to 13 years. participated. R- H- THOMAS BOOKSTORE HIGH SCHOOL TEXTBOOKS WE GIVE 10% DISCOUNT (Aug lst to Sept 30th 76) - OFF PUBLISHERS' LIST PRICES 1251 SIMCOE ST. NORTH OSHAWA Tel. 725-9500 (just south of Taunton Rd) SUNGLASSES WHITBY MALL 25 Grenfeli St. Oshawa 728-5179) 576-4431 728«5179) 25 Grenfeill. Ste Oshawa.