PAGE 8\1, 19 V;)IiI.Y :BR1R l I<81I. Wl iIIY AW, -- M I Between You and Me .4,. By RUTH COLES An encounter this past week with some interesting people who were reminiscing about their school days and their teachers in particular. Teachers often have a temendous influence over their students, either good or bad. Many of us have fond memories generally shared by other of teachers we cared about and whose influence was good. On the other hand we remember the ones who were really disliked, not just by us but by most of the students. We take personality conflicts and dismiss them for this WHITBY CHAPTER ONE PARENT FAMILIES ASSOCIATION OF CANADA Invites all adults who.are separated, divorced, widowed or unmarried parents to a formation meeting of prospective members. PLACE: Rm 206 Henry St. High School 600 Henry Street Whitby TIME: 8 P.M. DATE: February 26,1981 For more information call 576-8278 evenings or weekends. 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It seems to me that males are influenced by teachers much more than females and they often hold much stronger memories of the past. Have you ever seen a man's face light up when he chats about a particular teacher or watch him wince when another name comes up of one hwo may have made him cower as a child? For some children, their entry into school at an early age is a good and natural experience that continues on through the years. For others it is a traumatic and worrisome event, one which again can influence them for many years. There are so many reasons but the most important one often is the child's disposition. The teacher image has changed over the years and often for the good. This is not always true, of course, and this can and does create problems. Teachers should be respected; this no doubt covers a lot of ground. To respect someone doesn't necessarily mean liking them or loving them but it does generate a good feeling on both sides and.often a healthy fear. The implication of fear doesn't have to be a bad thing and it can cleanse the school system to a great degree. Respect should be reciprocal. Teachers are educated to teach, not to bring up children, a role they find themselves in more and more. In the early school years the teacher often plays the mother or father role and this take a very special persons. These are the staff members who are remembered through the years by most of their students. I still hear fond stories of such teachers of 50 years ago most of whom are gone in the past few years. No easy task taking the place of a mother, grandmother or nanny. Trying to instill discipline and good behaviour in an assorted group of children can be amusing, difficult and sometimes downright awful. Life styles and patterns vary in every home so in the school room there has to be a com- patible meld to hold it all together. • I remember a newphew of mine who as a first grader was simply terrified of his teacher. This created problems for his parents who seemed unable to cheer this unhappy little boy as he balked every morning at having to spend the day in the school room. The brothers and sisters did not feel kindly FREE PRESS towards this teacher either but it didn't cause any problems. So this child was turned off school from then on but finally realized he was a doer and could accomplish good things despite his teacher. He graduated later on with two engineering degrees and has had a full and satisfying life. A shy and sensitive child it was just too bad that he and his teacher could not have found a middle ground. Another boy who is now a successful writer had a supply teacher in grade five who realized he had an apptitude for writing poetry. Of her own volition she bought him a rhyming dictionary which he still has and treasurers. Because of her interest and faith in him she helped create something very special in this small boy. Another child who became successful in his own field was almost put under for a long time in grade two. Because of a weak eye muscle he wore a patch over one eye for a time. This caused him great difficulty as he had a problem using his weak eye. So the teacher, furious at his so called lack of attention put him-back into grade one and told him he would be there forever. Imagine how this quiet, sensitive boy felt. Complete devastation. This hopefully couldn't happen today as too many safeguards are built in. The same child now in grade three still had a problem with his eyes all though the patch had been taken off. His teacher furious with him sent him to the principal who strapped him. The boy was so ashamed, strapping was in his mind the worst humiliation anyone could go through wouldn't tell his family but fortunately someone did whose child suffered the same fate for having a physical problem. We often forget that a child cannot tell you what he is unable to see but only what he can see. Anotehr boy in grade eight wo was inspired and as a man still is by his teacher who realized his potential in one par- ticular area and who did everything he could to help. This in- volved research on the teacher' part and much time all spent in trying to reinforce this boy's gift. And gigt or whatever it has given this now grown man a productive and satisfying life for which he still gives his teacher a great deal of credit. So it works both ways, influence both good and bad. Whatever else belongs in the picture respect I think is the main ingredient. Today, it is often sadly missing as we see in every walk of life. Let's bring it back into the schools for the good of all. Permissiveness isn't always the answer. Good, fair rules and more to the point. A good rule of thumb is, "if you get into trouble at school you may have a repeat at home." This, of course, does not apply when the teacher is known for her or his misjudgement. To be a teacher today, I'm told, is not the easiest of tasks. This, of course, goes back to the home and if there is a lack of disipline and respect there is certainly will not be carried into the school or into the world at large.