Grollman speaks about death WHITBY FREE PRESS. WEDNESDAY APRI L 21,1983, PAGE 11 LA CONTESSAI Rabbi Dr. garl Grolman captivated an audi- ence of close Wo 500 people at Henry Street Higb School last Thursday nigbt as be spoke on ex- plaiing death ta cbildren. By TIM BAINES Free Press.Staff Death is such a bard word to accept for many people but Rabbi Dr. Earl Groliman la trying to makè the word a littie more acceptable in our vocabulary. Groilman, a ploneer in. the field of criais i- tervention, spoke on the topie of explaining deatb to children before close to 500 people at the Henry St. High Scbool- gymnasium -last Thurs- day evening. "lDead la a bard word to say. Ità sasd and a lit- die frlgtepilng," said Groilman. -"«It's not like playing a game of cops and' robbers. where someébody la shot dead but the game goes on. Dead la dead. It's not a Crafts festival - Free Press Staff Photo game, it's very real." Rabbi Groilman, of Beth El Temple Centre hi Belrnont, Massachu- setts, believes that we bave tW deal wlth the Wopic of death i a mucb more sicere way with children. "We have tW take death out' of the closet and bring it into reli- gious and public ,scbaols," he said. Grolirnan, the author of many novels, in- cluding Talking About Death, cited a study in wbich 78 osf.80 students confronted with a death bad their.achool grades suffer severely. "What the chlldren need la touch. Tbey need <the teacher and parent wbo'll say I'm tblnklng of you."# "'ît's easier tW sy a prayer than corne close Wo a person and look at -them itbe eyes," bhe sald. GrolimanP wbo at- tended college for four years before spending six years In a serninary, maint"in that cbildren are not properly inform- ed i cases of death. "Wben it cornes to death, children'are the forgotten population," 1 he said. He also empba- sizes that uaing euphen- lama for death are not good for tbe cbild. ."Don't go to the youngater and say.. bas gone to heaven. The cbild will look- up at the aky every tirne it raina and wait for the depart- ed to came down."1 "Wben I think of-tbe word expired, 1 tbink of My drivers licence."1 "If we tell the cbild- ren tbat grandpa bhas gone away on a long journey, the cbild wil say why la everybodyý crying, the last tirne be went ta Florida, every- body tbaugbt it was great."Y "We have Wo use wor- dé that the ida under- stand," emphasized Groilman. "Many cbildren are afraid ta go - W sleep because they feel tbat sleep and deatb are> synonymous." Grolirnan firmnly believes that the child- ren sbould experience the funeral. "If they're old enough, RAISED PRI'NTINO R BUSINESS CARDS * LETTERHEADS a EN VELOPES The, Whitby Festival 1" of Crafts and Fashion will be held on Satur-21 AVO A[SA XSHPliL", day, April 30 and Sun -__________________ day, May 1 frorn 10a.m., until 5 p.rn. at Wbltby's Iroquois Park Arena, 50 Victoria St. W.,E S EN Decoupage, apple- doils, pottery, weaving, macrame, quilts' Uand M AT chidren's clotblng, soft &D LC T S E toys, lasssagging, metal sculpture, o0 Se1 * yu * *. * y it paintinga, frarned natural drled flowers,thfin, &re esma. and silk flower arrange- ments, woodwork of varioskinds wilbe Fne m . eco. e ls among the crafts pcdbeorras. displayed i 125 booths. June Brernner, of Wbitby, wil be one ofLagv1 reyo the Folk Artists at. a very selective and lare clus&ces e"hbit. As well, Susan Nadeau, with ber very arypates iteretig display 0f atained glass JewelleryFre r efoprk will be on band.1 A featur attraction Vemk u w wil be the wandering face painter, or you rnayhm aesuae flnd the dlsplay of tbe Wbitby Historical FE OFÉwt n Society iteresting.KasroSndih There are demonstra- tions 0f qufiting, rug Lcidi h hooking, intricate lace BarPr lz rnaking.Admission la $1 wlth cbidren under 1210LuiDr adrnltted free. There laW ib 6848 lots 0f free parking and rersmnaare avail- Coe ody able._____________________ to. ait through a cburcb se -vie then tbey're old enough for a funeral. .They need tW go, W help themn understand," he said. "Wben they ask that question, wbere is grandfatber, poit W that hole hi tbe ground. Tbe cemetary la the best audjo-visual aide.", "Before cbildren reacb the age of 15, they bave been subJected Wo over 15,000 deaths on television. To me thia la -,the worst . porno- grapby, " be added. Groilman, married, witb three children, dlaims he got involvéd witb the topic because "tmost of us write about subjects we can't ban- dMe."Y "I carne frorn a famnily tbat was not allowed to talk about deatb and dying."1 Hie first confronted death wben a couple's 12-year-old son drown- ed. "I didn't bave a dlue bow Wo console thern," he recailed. Free Estimates "I became interested in the topie when my closest friend becarne sick and was told tbat bis problems were psychosornatlc. The day he went ta see the psy- chiatriat, he dled. It tur- ns out he bad cancer al that time."9 Grollman recently suffered another bs when bis mother <ied a year ago. 1"She died I rny presence and I found it important-that I was holding ber when sbe died," be said. "The time of depression la flot at the funeral but six Wo nine montbs later."1 He ecbaed the thougbts of pathologiat Margaret Mead, "Wben a person is born, we're bappy, wben a persan is married, we jubilate, but when a person <ies, we pretend nothing bas bappened." Grollran's presenta- tian, sponsored by the Wbitby Jaycees, also kicked off the 1983 Durham Region Multi- ple Sclerosis Campaign. Cash & Carry' HAIR SALON SUPER SPECiALS Mondays' Perms - '/2 Price Wed nesdays 1/2 Price o'n'every other service, (exceý5t Perms> (This offer appiles to Susan only.) Cail for your appofnim.ent now. 119 GREEN ST., WHITBY 668-9262 m THE REGIONAL MUNI'CIPAUITN 0F DURHAM PUBLIC'MEETING, Take notice that the Regional Planning Committee will consider at a meeting ta be heîd on: May 3,1983, AT 10:00 A.M. PLANNING DEPARTMENT BOARDROOM 105 CONSUMERS DRIVE, WHITBY AN APPLICATION TO AMEND THE'OF 'FICIAL PLAN FOR THE FORMER PLANNINGAREA 0F THE TOWN 0F WKITBY The amendment application, as propose 'd by th e Council for the Town of Whitby, would, provide guidelines ln the form of land use designations and detalied poôlicies for future development of Special Study Area No. 6, Indicated wlthin the area on the map beiow. M r Subsequentiy, the Reglonal Council will consider the recommendation of the Planning Commlttee at a meeting ta be held on: May 11, 1983 AT 10:00 A.M. COUNCIL CHIAMBERS REGIONAL HEADOUARTERS BUILDING 605 ROSSLAND ROAD EAST, WHITBY The report reîated ta the amendment application is avaliable for Inspection ln the offices of th'e Planning Department, »105 Consumers 'Drive, Whltby, or by calling Mr., L. Kotseff, M.C.i.P. Plan- ning Department, (416)>668-7731. Requests to appear before the Planning Commit- tee as a deputation concerning the amendment application must be forwarded to Dr. M. Michael, M.C.I.P. Commissione« of Planning, 105 Consum- ers Drive, Whitby, Ontario LiN 6A3, and must be received by the Friday preceding the meeting. Requests ta appear before Regional Council as a deputation concerning the amendment applica- tion must be forwarded to the Regional Cierk, Regional Headquarters Building, 605 Rossland Road East, Whitby, Ontario LiN 6A3, and must be received 48 hours prior to the Regional Council meeting. Gary Herrema Regionai Chairman ---7 C.W. Lundy, A.M.C.T. Regional Clerk I Chain Link Fonce Wooden Fonce Woodon.,Dock SUS JECTI V o m . o cc DIUNAS ST y.no 2 cc THE DURHAM (~ BOARD 0F EDUCATION KIN DERGARTEN REG ISTRATION WHITBY SCHOOLS Parents of chlîdren who wilI attain the age of 5 years b y the last day of 1983 are requested to register their children for kindergarten for the school year 1983-1984 at the publ 'ic sohool serving their district according to the following scheduîe. F.M. HEARD P.S. 668-3251 *Tussday, May 24, W.dnesday, May 25 end Tuesday, May 31 9:00 A.M.-121>0 1.00 P.M.-3:30 P.M. R.A.MHUTCHISON P.S. 66801 Monday, May 9, Thursday, May 12 end Thursday, May 19 9:00 A.M.- 1:40 A.M. 1:00P.M.-3:30 P.M. R.A. SENNETT P.S. 668&3221 Monday, May 16 end Tuesday, May 17 M.:0 A.M.-12:'00 1:00 PiM.-3:30 PJ. Bîrth certif lcate as proof of age and record, of lm- munization for the school nurse shouîd be pre. sented at time of registration. PLEASE CONTACT VOUR SCHOOL TO ARRANGE AN APPOINTMENT TIME FOR REGISTRATION. NOTICE OF 1 - m 1 1 m - 1 1