Between You and Me By RUTH COLES The only courage that matters Is the kind that gets you friom one momentto the next. Mignon McLaughiln. Strokes are not respecters of age nor persons. A stroke can strike at any age, youths, middle aged and the elderly. We are apt to think this is primarily a disease of the elderly which is not true at all. Of course, we have to admit it is much more common- place at an advanced age. I had a pleasant, happy morning today talking with Ted Farrow of Whitby, who is recovering from his third stroke. He is a man full of courage, get up and go, with a really good sense of humour. His humour has seen him through many tight spots and no doubt has aided in his recovery. This applies to the woman I have written about, who had a stroke in her early fifties. She is always ready to laugh, especially at herself. As a matter of fact, she just phoned to tell me about something funny that happened to her today. One of the most important things any of us can learn, and hopefully at an early age, is that we try "to wear another man's shoes" before we make judgements. It often is impossible to understand what is in another man's heart, mind or body until we are able to "wear his shoes." Snap judgements can be a disaster for both parties. During recovery, a difficult time for any stroke victim many assumptions and judgements can be made by onlookers and people in general. Someone may stagger, fall down or in some man- ner deviate from the normal and right away people, some people think, "oh just another drunk." I knew a very dear man once, a perfect gentleman who for reasons unknown would suddenly collapse anywhere. Always well dressed and a man of great dignity he used to die a thousand deaths after such an attack. People would skirt around this man, ignore him and walk away because they thought he was drunk. We talked of loss of dignity this morning and what an important part it plays in people's lives. So it becomes something to be understood by all of us who will constantly meet up with many handicap- ped people now and in the future. Age means different things to different people. These days one hears of fifty-five-year-olds being SANTA CLAUS PARADE COMING SOON The Jaycees will be holding this years Santa Claus Parade on Dec. 3 at 10a.m. Many colourful and exciting floats relating to the theme "A Childs Christmas," will be displayed, as well as seven bands including the Oshawa Pipe Band, the Oshawa Legion Band and more, four majorette groups and much, much more. The parade will start from St. John Church on Gifford St. and run out to Cochrane, down Dun- das to Brock and will continue on to the Rotary Park. Most of the downtown area will try to be covered. Entries are still needed for floats. Those interested please call 668-7253. NEW MINISTER V. Rt. Rev. Desmond C. Hunt, Sufragan Bishop of the Anglican Diocese of Toronto, in the Trent/Durham area, has announced the appointment of Rev. Rodney Hugh Barlow, L. Th. He will begin his new position of the incum- bant at Al Saints' Chur- ch in Whitby on Feb. 1, 1984. Rev. Rodney Barlow is at present the incum- bant of St. Mark Anglican Midland. He and his wife Marnie have two children. referre.to as elderly. A dreadful misuse of the English language. How does one refer to eighty and ninety year olds? Twenty year olds can be old in spirit and body while others in their late eighties and nineties can have the spirit of a young person and often great amounts of strength which lessens in time, but isn't lost. Ted is an A type person otherwise one who is determined to get ahead and doesn't "spare the horses." At forty seven he had his first stroke, the prime of life for a young man. A stroke is always a devastating experience and a very frightening one. Loss of speech, arms and legs not functioning and often a great disorientation. Just a horrifying experience to go through and come to terms with. One of the most important aspects of treatment is encouragement: we are not talking of promises. Al medical persons we hope will share this feeling which I often hear has been lacking in the past. Stroke victims are being helped very much now by the Stroke Recovery Association, another step forward to understanding and coping with stroke. Many people young and old are apt to withdraw rather than "join in." Probably a mistake. Joining in gives people a clear realization that they are not the only ones but only one of many. Ted from the very beginning has been a man of courage and great spirit. As he says he reached for the moon once, he started to recover and feels at times he's failed. No so, I think he is more than half way to the moon now and steadily reaching for the top. The suffering of families under the stroke situation is a very difficult one. They must have much tolerance, sympathy and understanding. The patients are often anxiety ridden and irritable. The irritability is almost impossible to cope with for some people but of course not all. I am going to repeat what a specialist said to me once and it has been a great comfort not only to me but to others. It imay help you to grasp at a straw, and even one straw helps. My dearly beloved Mother had a stroke, which came one day and lasted for five years. Unable to speak, feed herself, or even sit up, she bore it all with never a cross or upset look. I nursed her, en- couraged by our doctor, who felt this was best. My daughters were a tower of strength and I think it was a valuable part of their upbringing. Of course I was able to have help in the house at anytime, but found it on the whole easier to cope alone. I, like others, felt my mother, even though comatose, should enjoy such things as her garden and lovely things around her. The doctor said to me one day, "think of yourself and learn that your mother will never enjoy things as she did. You look at the garden and feel your mother looks at it through your eyes. She doesn't, and remember when people are very ill they sometimes do not suf- fer the way those close to them do." Maybe this sounds like small comfort but it helps you through CONTINUED ON PAGE 15 WHITBY FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 16,1983, PAGE 5 Du Pont Expansion Du Pont Canada Inc., Whitby Works announ- ced last week that con- struction is commen- cing on a $1.75 million expansion of its South Blair Street facility. The expansion· in- volves a 43 thousand square foot addition of plant space for a variety of purposes including inventory space to ac- commodate increasing production needs. "Although no new jobs will result directly from the expansion, it reflects the positive ac- ceptance of our produc- ts in the marketplace", said Keith Brenne, Works Manager. Du Pont's Whitby Works was constructed in 1959 and has ex- perienced nine expan- sions in its twenty-five year history. The plant produces plastics products for the packaging industry. cNei FURNITURE & UPHOLSTERY LTD. SALE OF ANTIQUES - Round oak tables, sets of oak chairs, tea wagons, hanging lamps, wall what-not shelf, large assortment of antiques. 6,,413 Dundas St. E., Whltby668-5481 rE M~~ i[SLaTIIa rpiets Spend yôur Wlntriotickets call Save up to$1000 on memberships at The StationGalery e Whitby Museum Your non-winning Wintario tickets are now worth 50 cents each toward the purchase of new memberships to your local art galleries and museums. Save up to $10.00 on the prîce of each mernbership for yourself or as gifts for your family or friends at galleries and museums all across Ontario. Take advantage of your local culture. Visit your art gallery or museum today for complete details of the Wintario Half Back program. ONTARIO MINISTRY OF CITIZENSHIP AND CULTURE Hon. Susan Fish, Minister