WHJT QBY MRE PRESS, , WEDNESDAY, MAY 30 1989,ý PAGÉ5 Thirst time. Belly up to the bar. Sawdust on the floor, desert in your throat, coins enough to hum holes inyur pockets. Corne along, thon, to the Lone Star " Neyer thought Fd live to see the day we'd have a leak liko that," says Homer Cluggins. Homer, a plumber by trade, mokes Mis living by leaks. Fred Liver, the bartender, polishes a glass and raises one eyebrow. Its not a leak we can blaxne on onyone." "Every leak can ho blamed on somebody" Homer replies. 'Leaks don't happen by themselves. Not with the stato of today's plumbing." Everyone within earéhot nods, knowingly, thon sips. Regulor patrons at tho Lono Star are known for their knowing nods and their sips. Especially their sips. 'Tou saying that the leak was caused on purpose?" says a nowcomer, slipping unto a stool next to Homer. "Not oxactly."l 'Thon approimately?" But Homer is tight lipped. The newcomer is nono other thon Lucas Letterpross, editor and prop. of The Fiat Toil, tho only newspaper in Beaver published in Beaver, for Bevers, by Beavers. 'Weil, maybe approximately," Homer says, pointing to bis empty lass." - 'Tell meabout it." Everyone in the Lone Star by now sits hushed, hanging on Homer's every word. 'Tirst," Homer the plumbor begins, "it was the timing. Remember how we'd heard for days and days ond days how the budget would ho announced that night? Town council had worked for weeks, they said, adding things up and stuff. And that was the night wo were to hear." 'Wo remember," several muxnble, and heads nod. "So. Firat tbing I heard was an hour or so beforo the council meeting. A leak in the second floor washroom at town hall, my answering machine said., 'Men's or women's,' I asked. 'Both,' they said. So I WITH OUR FEET UP by Bill Swan Politici ans and plumbers gathers up my tool it and is Off'. 'First tbing I note when I got there was puddles on tho floor. Not unusual, in a public lav, but these puddles is growin'. I husties down ta, the basement, and there I get ta see the whole tbing in action." "A big leak?" asks Lucas. "Leak? Like Razor Strop says, this was no leak, this was a flood. Water just pouring outta those big pipes like somebody had taken a big auger ta em." 'That shouldn't augur well," replies Lucas~. 'Wouldn't do the pipes any good either," says Homer. "No doubt in my nilnd this wholo thing was done a purpose. I ask myself, is who would do it." "Any ideas?" asks Lucas. 'Well, first I gotta asIc, 'Who would gain by this?' Now, of course me, being a pluniher, I get a good bill repairing this. But I know I didn't croate that leak. And I knew that Lucas here would get a good stor outta this, being a newspaper man and ail, but 1 gotta strike hlm off the list, because heing a journalist ho ain't smart enough to drili boles in squat. Thon I got to thinkin' about the timing." TYou mean, on budget night and al?"' "Exactly. We'd ail heard how taxer, 15 going up andl spencling is. being slashed, and I figured, yup, that's gonna make folka niad. So how yuh gonna keep foks minds off being mad? Give 'em something else to think about." 'Tou mean you think Mayor Johnny Cannuck did this?" "Mayor Johnny may be no smarter thon a journalist. But did it ever occur to you that Mayor Johnny Cannuck's nephew's girl friend's uncle is a plumber. Think of that for a moment." "I thinking," says Lucas, "and nothing happons." "Sure. Well, add this. I get things under control downstoirs. Tinie I get back upstairs, to the second floor of the town hall, council is carrying on like nothing had ever happened." "So? You over meo a couneil of poiticians work without a washroom nearby? Heck, they oven walk out in the middle of each others speeches ail the time. And you wanta know why?" ',Why?"f "Because they need the washroom breaks. Politicians, like pluinhers, learn early in their careers what smells and what runs down hili. For the i its a matter of survival. "So there they are, in full council session for an hour before the washroom is ail fixed up. And I says to inyself, there's something fishy goin on here, oven if Lucas bas got a big story for bis front page. You dIid, too, eh? I noticed that headline, 'Big leaks in washroom.' I mean, what else coulda pushed thé tax story off Page one? There's only one conclusion: Mayor Johnny engineered this to take the heat- off. Looks like it worked, too." - Plans already made for Ch*ristmas garbage Christmas is still 217 days awvay, but Whitby councilbors are already talking about garbage collection during that holiday season. The public works department recently recommended to ope- rations committee thht council cancel garbage operation during the week of Dec. 24-30. Monday, De.25 and the follow. ing Tuesday and Wednesday are holidays for Town employees under a union agreement. This gives the department only two days during the week to pick up all the Town's garbage. The department foît that in- steadof g*ving some parts of the municipaiity preferential treat- ment, it should suspend ail col- lection. Committee agreed, with the exception of regional councillor Tom Edwards who instoad recommended the Town hire additional vehiclos and use more manpower to pick up garbago in ail areas of the municipality. The department noted that would cost $10,000. «There are a vast number of. peopýle who pay taxes and get services they can see. I'm not prepared to diminish garbage pick-up during that time," said E dwards, who noted that hy can- celling garbage collection that week, residents would actually go two weeks with a garhage collection. While councillor Dennis Fox said ho unhappy with no garbage pick-up for a week, ho noted there was "no real solution" to the prohlem. Fox along with councillor Joe Bugelli, voted to cancel garbage collection for the week. 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