PAGE 32, WHITY FMEEPRE&% WEDNE8DAY, NOVEM 229'1989 Imiagine'is a national camp iign of The Canadian Centre for Phila ~thropy to increase Canadians' awareness and c< ntribution. to ail charitable and volunteelee organizations. We support their goals and are c ntributing space.for the Imagine ads on t is and other pages. To bring the campaign doser to home, the Whitby Free Press is running series of profilesof the needs and activities of1loc:il organizations. Cali us if Your organizatio1 could use a boost. Women decide 'Desti By Trudie Zavadovics' When the bottoni of a bottl< becornes your best friend - o your worst enemy - prescriptiozi drugs become vitarnins that gel you through each day. The hara stuf may get.you through the night, and hig h becomes an obsessively deformed sétate of mind that makes you so unrecog- nizable you cail yourself stranger and strangers friends. That is the tume many people would consider the black hole of life. It may also be the beginning of the road back, as they turn their lives around. Many women have traveled through the dark abyss Qf aicho- hol or drug abuse. Some have been luckyenough to reach rock bottom, realize 'it, and begin their upward clumb. Mary is one of those women. 'I:e 29-year-old mother of two "Drugs and alcohol were a very big p art of my life. My life was totally unmanageable. I had no self-esteemn. I was, under the imn- pression that everything was going to corne to me. Now I realize I have to work for them. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. 1 eventually reached rock bottom and thought I- was having a nervous breakdown. "I arn grateful today that I reached rock bottoni, that I don't have to go back to that crazy world - I didn't want to live, I didn't want to die." For Mary there was Destiny Manor, a treatment centre in Oshawa since 1980. In March of 1987 she p'honed the manor and went through their treatment prograrn. For Mary, like many others, it was one of the best thîngs she ever did. "It is a hostel-type service with an AA emphasis, says exe- on r DESTINYMANOR a RECOVERY BOUSE t FOR WOMEN PurpoSme tohelp woren recover from alcoholldrug abuse. Housing Capacity- 10 beds and 67 beds outpatient capacity. Volunteor Membership: 20 - 301. Fundingpartial funding !yProvince (70 %), United Wiay (12%), and fundraising. Contact: Cynthia Myers, 436-8851. cutive director Cynthia Myers. She says that over the years the emphasis bas shifted to the treatment of drug'and aichohol abuse. "In 1988 we treated 129 women," says Md ers, '160 è cent were treated for alchol and drug problems and 22 per cent were treated for drug and other problems.» Myers sees a definite shift in the age of wornen who have corne to the centre over the past fine years. "In the beginning the age group was between 35 years and 54 years, and now it has dropped to 25 years to 34 years. Our youngest client was 1 5years and our oldest was 72years." Most of the senior women are treated for alcohol and -prescrip- tion drug abuse. Myers says that COUNSELLOR Lorraine TaPP (left) Recovery House for Women. with a resident of Destiny Manor. Fre. Press photo 92 per cent of ýthe wornen ar .unernployed. "This is an abstinence prograr and we deal with the chronical], addicted female,» says Myeri "Our program, wouldn't work i they weren't well rnotivatecl Local residents are given pre ference but there is a five- tc eight -week waiting period." Although they have, a longez terni residential prograni, Myers- says that rnany women gc through the 28-day chernical pro.ý grami which involves 12 steps and is a structured treatment plan which focuses on behavior modification. They also have an after-care prograrn and 24-hour crisis intervention. They have a fulI-tirne staff of 10 and the manor is staffed 24 hours a day. They have 10 beds and a capacity for five out- patients. Myers bas been involved in Dýestiny Manor froni the begin- ning and bas been the executive director since 1983. They run other progranis such Cocaine Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonyrnous and Narcotics Anonyrnous. Myers says that people are now more willing to talk about their addictions, and such disclo- sures help in their recovery. "For women especall, the stigma is gone. We eneni t achieve what they would like in their lives. We try to give theni the tools to work with to cope on a daily basis. We have rnany success stories such as women getting their chil- dren back. Many believe that this is a new beginning?" e M [y f r Fvor Mary, it was a new begin- ningz. "To be honest, niy initial atti- tude was that they were* phony and they wouldn't care, but the feelings of warmth, love, and understanding were incredible. Within a weekl1started cornn out of rny sheli. To day I feel really good about myself. I have self-respect. I communicate well with my kids and other people." Mary now volunteers for Des- tiny Manor and for a local correc- tional facility. She is takingCol- lege courses on addictive bea- vior and eventually wants to do counsellinc. «AIl I can do is be an- example to anybody, but I'm a better example now than 1 was before." Myers says that s.ore wornen do corneback but,, usually they're only allowed back- once. One of their goals is te develop a prograni for families. Unlike rnany other non-proent organizations, getting volunteers is not a probleni for Destiny Manor. Myers says that tlheir volunteers are Steadfast and volunteer for very long periods of tume. For more information cali 436- If more of us were one, more, of us would kçnow what it meant The givmng begins with you. F.amily Living:b Fun or friction? TodaY's families are faced with less and less tume and energy te meet alI the demanda and expectations froni inside and out. Parents'feel hurried and harried as they struggle te build self esteem ini their children and (maybe) for themselves. Can familles be cooperative and supportive with one another on a daily basis? Does sibling fighting have to be present in al familles te ensure it is truly a farnily? These are some of the issues te be addressed by the keynote speaker at the Durham House Child and Farnily Centre Annual Meeting on Monday, Nov. 27. Marion Balla, co-director of the Adlerian Centre for Counseling and Education hi Ottawa1 is Education Resource Centre at and feeling good about vourseif. R7CL9flOI .no~ jn~.n ~~'J~dL ~JA UOU-'j~~~* cming back te present this* more 'relaxed and laughter-filled aPProach te living in families. Increase the fun! Decrease the friction!" says Balla, by spending an evening learning alternatives Although there ia no cost invol'ved, pre-registration is required for this presentation which will be held at the Michael Starr Bilding i Oshawa from 7 te 9 p.m., Call the Farnuly 4-