WEMl FRM PMES WEDNESDAY, NOV BU28o 1990, PAGE 7 PAGE SEVEN Mmnd your Ps and -Qs Friday afternoon, -late, in Ottawa. It is a the month -of -darkness and depression. The smn arrives a work late each morning se leaves earyte make up for it. It la the daSr the country runa out cf alphabet. This afterncon, tbree people gather in one politician'. office:- one ivi- erant, one politician, ana one non-descript third party who, .-ftetruth be known, pulls stringa for both. We hoIe it is just temporary, " says the civil servant. "But at the present time the cupboords are bore." "EmptW'aska the politician,- droppfi her cigar. "Empty," replies the civil sevn. 1ev sdu vrtig FromAto Z. He says the Zto rhyme with zed and lead, the Canadian wy It is part of a civilueatstring 'veýn7" replies the non-scpt third party. "Everyti ng." Silence, then, as ai tbree ponder the possbilities "But it la juet terporarsays he eltician Iln]y"Intt? The CS shaes sea from saide to side."Y ou could hopeta. But we've been scrounging a over Ottawa ail week. Wemaae to catch the last few even resorted to using single letters in some cases. It got se bad yesterdýay wve had to name a new federal agency « Ir. That's not a nice image, you know. To have the government in charge of Brand XI' "But we got rid of FIRA," says the politician. 'Tears ago."f The CS sigbs, his shoulders beavy. "But you stiil have the CBC, the RCMWP, CSIS ..." "But thope have ail been around for years,"l quips the non-discript third' party. "What ail of a sudden brings on the shortage?' The CS looks up, the whites cf his eyespink with fatigue. "Overuse. Whole layera cf civil servants thinkng up acronyms. Remember, this is not jusat a federal prblem. Mie provinces for years have been addingtheir whole layer to this." "'OPP, GO, CAAT, PC, NDP, 0H11', ..." "Yeah. See wbat I mean?" The third party shuffles, nervosly.'I hate to admit thi Ilhe said, 'but big business bas been chewing up its share ofh alp'habet as well."o"B G. M T heltician begins coutiting on bis fingers: IM IA M GMC, C yBo, f M, A&A, AAA, CA&, ABS, BFI. And don't forget the world of sport. NIHL, NFL1., OFL, OHA, OMHEA, OPHA, IHL .. , Even private agencies. YMCA, CAS, YWCA, AA, ARP, SAVE, SADD."l 'We haven't even tackled the international implications" says the politician. 'What will happen te the world-wide mariket on acrnymas?" "Weil world-wide demand contributed. Look at the UN, the US f A, U9SR, the UK, GATT~ NATO ..."é "That's it! Well give 'em IWKiA back. Thiat should .. " ... should last a second, twenty a second world- wide, by the bundtéds if you count ail thèse foeeign languages, which I guesa in a way we do. No, were at the end." The OS stops pacing turna "Wbich means, if vou haven't caughit the implication y et, tbt the governiment wi11 have te face the music and assthe appropriateleIslatien." "You mean ..gssthe plitician. "That's right" sayf3 the OS. "The Iovernment wil have te make acronyms ille.al." "lActuaily, i was tbà lkng about sending more troc inte the Mfiddle East. Surely would, could, free up a whole al hat there." . "Naw. Thèse focreign words just sound like a lot oalhabet, but really they)re mostly worda. Face it, the solutions hve te be domestic." "But what about a volunteer group te belp battle this," says the politician. "We did a lot of lovely stuif with the garbagething. What about a tup called the Sociey to Help End Little Letter ShoaE"s SHELL for short. Thatsà oýid tbinking. We gotta tbink new." The NDTP (non-dèscript third party) colapses. 'Mut that means everybody wiil have te use..m Mmets right. Words. No abbreviations. No cutesie shortcuts which canbleceut intaonyS." Once the decision =e made the tbree seem te relax isibly. Despite the warming signa, althree, non-smokers, light up te relieve stress. But really," says the NDTP. "I understand the bistory and ge oah f the problem. But what flnally blew the house in?": ehsayrs the politician. "Ibat waa what we lawyers call the culmnatig icident." The OS blows amoke up the oltician's ear. "Tou haven't practised law for years, se on't giveme that. What was the asat straw? What else? Ites been the last straw for a lot of tbings around thia town.ft You mean ...!1" Tbat's right. Blame it all on the GST. Everytbing else is blamed on it." Hey, I like, RIP, GST. You, too, BM the PM. RIP." ~-W WB1TY HIGH SCHOOL WOODWORKING SHOP, NOVEMBR 940 Thbis sihop was in a brick building bebind the old bigh achool on Coiborne Street and was demolished in 1975. The teacher at right is I.W. McNaughtin. lie sign in front says 'Watcb Your Fingers," a warning fer us et power toole. WMIhAtby A.SJiIpho 10 TZARS AGO from the Wednesa, November 26, 1980 edition of the WHTMY FRMEPruO 0 $700,000 worth. of General Motors cars were destroyed in a train derailment on the CNR limneair Victoria Street. e Lot levios for subdivisions wil be reduced 15 per cent meaning a lossofrevenue to the town of $2009000. *Ontario Enrz Minister Bab Welsh addressed the Progressve Consrvative annual dinner at Heydenshore Pavilion. *Home sales in Whitby were down 27.8 per cent in the first nine months of 1980. 25 TZARS AQO fio= theThursday, November 25, 1965 edition of the WHIF YWEKY NEWS *Approval to establish a family YMCA in Whitby was given at a.public meeting on Nov. 18. *'fIe Weekly News is warning the town council not to "give away" industrial land for too low a price. " William Goverde, a local real estate salesman, wants Gilbert Street closed between Brock and Byron Streets to make way for a bigh rise apartment building. " A central library has been established at Dr. RobertMfornton Public School. 125 TZARS AGO from the Thursday, November 23, 1865 edition of the WHrrDY CHRONICLE " Wbitby Infantry defeated the Oshawa lnfantiy by nine points in a rifle match. " Barnabas Gibson is advertising for 2,500 corda cf hardwood to be délivered to the Grand Trunk Railway station as fuel for the woed-burning locomotives. " M.H. Cochrane la advertising fresh tea at 75 cents a pound. "*Apliication la being made to Parliament te establish a bank for the County of Ontario at