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WIIITY FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 9, 1991. PAGE 7 PAGE SEVEN mission to destroy Ho's tho sort of guy you niigt meet naybr "Hey!Whadda ya drinin',uddyý n' j ar Th' he slaps you on the back, a slap that makes your shoulder blades ache, reminds you of ail the people you know who play hockey You'd nover lcnow hlm as a security risk. I namo my beer, allow hlm to buy.- "How bout -those Leafs, oh?" ho says, feigniing intereet. These das you can't tell a bored spy frcm àa rosi Canadian because nooyreaily cares about the Leafs. 'ou'ro a spy," I say, taking a sip on my lite beer. Ho raises an eyebrow, waits te hear more. 'wot only a spy," I continue, 'but likely one of thoee subversives tho CSIS has its oye on. ight?" Ho sbruga. "Have it your way," ho replies, pulling on hls beer _______________________________________ like a baby from a bottie, the Canadian macho-way. "You're a phony," I say. I know now I have hlm. "You are likely a - py planted by Saddam *Hussein te, blow ,up nuclear power plants, te terrorizo the subway systems, te sow Lupin seeds on the roadaide ditches acrose the country." Hie oyes suddenly go cold, freezing mei the spot momentarily, chilling my beer. "YTou are likely waiting'for a word from that madman of'the Middle. Est te, start dostroying overyf;hing we hold dear." I shoot, back my boldest look of disaaii."1 should eall CSJS right now." Ho ponders that, .trying te undorstand the cultural 'implications.'Suddenily is 'shoulders sag-,ho lumps forward, a M maxn defeated. 'You are right," ho says. "l am here on a mission te destroy this country.' I hail the waitor. Kinda' gets you these days that the GST cornes te, more than the tip. "Want te tell me about it?" I ask, after the waiter has left. "It would be good. Please -- your honour -- don't turn me in te tho Sissies. Not yet." CSIS, Sissies. Ho is ready te talk. It's not the way you think," ho begins. "Like you, I arn a * native-born Canadian. But I was raised in Iraq, where my parents had gone te instali a cellular phono network. It wasn't until I came back te Canada te drop out of university that this nightinare began." 'Tou admit te terrorism?" "Not the way you think. Bombe, nucleer- plants, and so on. No, not that." . "Thon howT' Ho drains bis boer, again forgets te burp, and continues. 'Tiret it was the magazine tip-ins. You know -- those....... cardboard replycoupons that make it impossible te, flip throughSTF OF HEMRI AU CU NG O PNY the pages of a magazine? Thoy were my idea. I invented them, STF FTEM RI A UATM RIG1899NY perfected the tochnology te bring them te make them possible." BR STPRT SOLT,19 moetydrest." he " Mauctrn Compan (the old buckle factory) was located on the site of the lîwt e".APaafrm18 o16.Th uligargt a ul o h O'Donovan Carniage "Zea mses rogtte itl or usesbt h Factory li 1869 and domolished in 1907. The buildings construted i its place wer Gira ak els. Itteuibrom Saddam." demoralusel ino heInshed l 6,wlian +he faterwna UCeledWhitby MallabMl n and Brse "It's war. This recession? Engineered by Iraqi epies. Look, %' and Darlington. sorry, they'ro holding my parents hostage, I have no choice. The 0 Cordon Mdilweln is chairman of the Whitby Public School Board and Leslie MeFarlane le real estate market was oasient. We just kopt snapping up property vice-chairman. l with a little down, at higher and higher prices. Thon, once we e The Canadien Players are presenting T. Eiiot's "Murder in the Cathedral" at Anderson etopped, we knew the market would collapse. Timed it right, top, High School on January 14. witMhthe GST and al." * Rev. John M. Snith is minister of St. Mark's United Church and Lev. John McLeod of "Why are yu telling me this?" Wbitby Baptiet Church. fI reay dE care about the Leafs. I dunno. Teil somebody. Do somothing. Cet Canada out of thie mess." Heoepins on bis heol and in gone, tossing a scrap of papor on the 75 YEARS AGO table before me. I pool it open, slowly, for the two words revealed. fr-om the Thursday, January 6, 1916 edition of the Free trade. WHITBY GAZETE AMD CHRONICLE CSIS experts are etiil trying te figure that one out. This issue ie missing.