WHIBYF1Z RES, EDN8DA AgrI!7, 1991 ýPAGE?7, *PAGE.SEVENý St inkers Supppou.you are trapp.d in a houa, for a whole w..kend witha Mx-y.rod with, a three.day cas of stomacii flu. Supps lothat youpersnai, cannot Watci The. Lady ad'the. Tramp me more time. Ditto Th. Sword and tii. Stan. and CindereIIa and (dar. I even say. it?) Peter Panz So what do you do? *WeI, f youSr» at ai enterprisingwhich Ithik Icara, you. h.ad 'or a store that rente movies.* Okay. Smooth move, that. Since l'y. written about it befor., 1 won't me thoeti.confusion cf being confontedwith- thouaand tities. I must soeneday buy that book of movie 1 1a wont mention, not much anyway, -the. stunning array of conffising procodures inaide the. store. What we are talking about today wiIl b. the. movies tiiemselves. W.!re flot goen to get into that, becaua. our objective today jes to talk about movies thema.Ives. W. did, of course, set out to, rent cbfldIs movies. Don't ask me how Look Who's T1- came to b. a childrs movie, but a certain 'Mx-year-oldr feul victim to peer evaluation and some ?o4 Mp da father feilfor it. .But wh--e welre here at the. store, what the. ieck, the. iioliday weekend, why flot throw ini one for daddy, too? Whichin i how I .nded up with Eéaven'. Gate. But tiiese two inovies on one package maea dlighfful companison of 0incSmpet.nce., Item an.: Look Who's Talking is not a child's movie. Granted, the. movie aima at an audience witii a mental age of five. . Te plot in a nutaheil: an attractive young accountant bmia a fair witii aclient, who is married, neurotic and wont leave bis wif.. Sii. (the ccutat not the wife) gets Pregnant. Tii. client tii.n deserta her to have an affair wth biseinterior d.coratoe. (Great selection for a mx-y.ar-old, eh? And we haven't even mentioned, nor wull w., the. talking tadpoles in the. conceptian sace. I am sur this movie recycles ail the ideas Woody Allen rejected from Ai You Wanted te, Know, Abou SezButW.re Afraid to, Aakl. Along cornes grubby cab driver (John Travolta) wiio, at the. crucial moment, drives the.pregnant acu tantte hospitel and, ends up smhow staying througi the. epîiural babymittn& return cf the. Mological fatiier and final chaws cène until that romance flourishes. (This is ai .asily' predictabl.. Surely I cannot b. accuasd cf giving away essentiel plot bore, as. I did that at'time I -Àantured to, review a movie.) Okay. Now you are ready fer the twist, the one thi~ that sets tlinsmvemd re hosna0 tirAn gives it it'. titi.? Y.p. The baby taUmk,. SNot, mind you, te tthe characters, like Francis the. Talldng Mule. In voice-over. From the. moment of conceptian totth. final romantic «WiI You ha mine forever or at IeatwbIl. the credits roi?' embrace. Dumb. Not funny. Not witty. Net even haIf witty. Y.t the. movie bas C . wâoll nough te bear progeny, to wit, Look WdosUTmo Wse than tii.contem ptthe. manrsof tiese turkep have for their audience: te audience that actually forS out cash te see such stuif. Tha now includes me. Mmt' es pressinl. Just as deprsig i a different way, is eéaven's Gate. Okay, okay. 1 s tn y.ars old. Tii. reviews clearly stated this was a stinker, even after being re-released after being out fr-om tiire. houri and fort~y minutes te, soehiUlke two houri But this was at the. video store and- they offered the. uncut version and I teok it. And what is it? It is the. deEinitive western epic; the. mot ambitious cowboy movie ever made; the. movie that dispimys Yrle Kristoferan's talents finm A to B. I cant do a two-pom summmry of the plot, sic. I uît a few inutes into the second reel. Two and a healTours was enbughL DWsointed, incoenpr.iieible, incomplet. Ã"1. oh, iy bother. 1 Talking at leat judg.d on audience, no matter how dunib Arguing that a btter movie migiit have been mad. with tthe money mles in tii. face of bottom limes. But Heaven misses an ail coemts: artistic, iacil ocial. Here I tbrow you aa llenge, -dear reader. m.remay b. wore ovies, but mnvaably these will b. low budget i ~ i SOLDIERS 0F THE 182nd BAITAION IN FRONT 0FAR0IS AUGUST 1916 Ibese soldiersý, mmo t go overseas, are standing in front-of the. 34th Regiment Armories, wiiere tii. Toronto Dominion Bank is now an Dundas Street beuide the, cenotapii. The, banner in the background reada: 'T. proud ofyour pals in the. trenciies. Wiiat do tiiey think of you?" Th. man third frm the rigiit is Roâbert Devereli,'Whio became mayuof 0<Wiitby in 1945-46, and was president of Royal Canadian Legionbrni 112 in 1935-38. Whitty Ardiive.photo 10 TZARS AGO from thi e ~jAgs5,1l981 édition ofthie WHITBY FPESS *Twenty-one people in Wibitby ond Oshawa were arrested ini on RCMP drug raid. *The Town council is sp.nding $8,000 an a boat storage area for th. Port Whitby Marina. *Ontario Premier Wiliam Davis will turn the. sod for the. new LOBO warehous. in Wiiitby temorrow. *Whitby girlîguides are iiosting visiting guides from Vancouver, Britishi Columbia. * 25 TZARS AGO fiamte 1Nrda3! August 4, 1966 edition of the wuistWEcEKsLY NEWS There was no paper today as the. staff are an holiday. 75 YTZARSAGO frçm the ThuradayAugust 3, 1916 edition of the WHnW AZEMAND CBEONICLE *Whitbys second drowning accident this summer claimed'the life of 13-year-od Joseph James Sothwei aet the Port Whitlw wharf. "[hib~ has had no rain mnc.July 2. jApuli patriotic service wfli b. held in the. MusiC Hall tomorrow tu mark the second anniversury of the beginning of the war ini Europe. *One hundred female patients fo Coboufrg have been taloen to the new Whitby Hospital, for tii. Insane 41 14WCOUUD EWMEBObY THIS TO HER?!"l M~ <YLA'S AUNT 'FREE mRss