WMU~Y FP RE ¶oSS WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 80, 1991, PAGE 7 PAGE SEVEN Fixed gamet Oy-yay, %yyay, cy-yay, Court of Public Opinion, Region of Huindrun, Town of Witwasp now i session, Judge Biily Beedamned presiding. Ail ris.. <Enter Judge Biily Beedarnned in bis choir gown.) Clerk: Brian Mulroney, alias Lyin' Brian,' alias Dick Tracy, alias Secretary General, ali Judge: Enough, enougii. We get the idea. Get to the bir. Uaecarged that on or about the weekend of the World Bories youdicocnspire te s.ek or flot te seek the position of Sêcr.tary General of the. United Nations, so help you God? Brian: I lead Einlarged Ego. Crown: =ou honour, ose. what I mean? This mani doe have an enlarged ego. But h. is charged with seeking bigher office in the. world stage, an indictable offence in Canada. Judge: The. court of public opinion li Canada will brook no attempt by Canadians te, become world figures while stil living iCanada. BU: I nover actively .ought the. job -at the UN. A bunch of peole just put my naminh and I let them. Judg: Cail your first witness. BM: Your e're, i cail the. Presidant of the YewKnitted States, George ush. BM:Mr.,President can you tellme how 1camie to be nominated fr the position of the. UN? Bueh: Sure, Br!an just like w, practised. Several other countries in the. Security Coiuncil get togetiier over a few beers on. night and got tssing around some names of who would b. good te iiead the UN. Soin. of the boys were feeling pretty good and somebody, I foret rnow, mentioned your name. Blrian Mulroney. After everybody stopped laughing -- I was't there niind you, so this is only going by the CIA report - tii. girl in the. cake arrived and people forgot about ItL Judge: I find the, defendaxit gullty and deport 'hum ta United States. Are you prepared ta pl.ad guilty? BM: Only if rin guaranteed the job and a fre. passage outta the country. Crown: But that would inake lm bath famous and popular witii Canadians. I object. Bush: Trouble with you Canadliaxis is You haven't got enough get Up and shove. lI America, w.'d pay plenty ta get a teugh-political leader 1k. Brian, on. who'd do wbat I tell hlm. BM: George, I dont think your. helping me any. Bush: You Canadians likely even tbink the. Twixis won the. World Soies. Judge: What otier conclusions would the. Court'of Public Opinion hold? Bush: Bian, I told you a long turneag that your Blue Jays could have been in tiiere. But youXhd te, hold back. Didn't I say, just give us culture and books and we'd give yau the. Beries? Judge: Are you suggestiga fur, a thrown bal gaine? Bus: ou don't really thk that Lonnie Smith ciieck.d bis run at second base because of a 6ake throw do you? Naw, tii. gaine was scripted, they're ail scripted. Lionni. had te, improvisoe, so did the.fielders. Note how quick the. annoemcers picked it up. Earphones. CIA. Hey, w. got a bases covere&. Judge: You coud doatat for the Blue Ja 8siOXtyar ~Bush:You play bil with us, we playball wth ýou. That's wbati it'à ail about. Judge: Sa, culture, books, magazines freed of this nationalism crap, make cross-border shopping easier and nwet yea's genes is ours? Bush: Clear up that mess witiith NDP governments ln the. provinces, welve got ourselves a dieal. Crown: You mean that's ail w. gotta do? Hot dog. Judge: Court adjourned. This cas is remanded pending furtiier discussions. BM: lv. got it. W. give you wbat YOU waxit, George, and .ewin tii. World Series next year. I cail an election te b. TRAIN AT MYKFE SFATIONq 1925 lhe station i this picture was built in 1884 and demolished in 1974. The. grain elevator was built i 1887 and destroyed by fire in 1968. The. Village of Myrtle Station was ,stablisiied when the. railway was built tbnough Wbitby Township in 1884. Wbltby Aréhium oo 10 TZARS AGO from tiie Wednesday, October 28, 1981 eclition of the. WHflBY FERPffl " Donald Lo v.lock bas resigned fr-oi Hydro Electric Comrmission as he is moving out. of " Buildîng permits are Up 76 per cent in the. firat nune months of 1981. " Wbitby Soccen Club is sponsoring disabledètlete Danyl Taylor. *Th. Corridor Area Ratepayer Association iield ita 12th annual Corridor Capers Bail on October 24. 25 TZARS AGO fr-oin the. hursday, Octobem--r 27,1966 edition of the. wHrmBY WEHKLY NEWS *Two people have been arrested in the. Maritim es for using a cheque-writing machine s"oen fromi Stafford Brother.' Monuments in Whitby.> *George Vick bas retired as chief of the Whitby Township Pire Departinent, after-serving in that position for 26 years. *Three Ontario Scholars were among the. graduates at A4 e Two Whitby boys who ran away fromn home were foumd '15 TZARS AGO fr-om the Thursda, Otaber 26,, 19 16 WETY GZEMAMD CH "* The Whitby War Relief Society bas donated more than o crrspndn o te aztt noI.md rnil ay &nderson. Coilegiate this year. 1 m the. Port Hope area. Z edition of the MONICME k$2,200 to, the British Red Cross. at boys holding a shooting match on i -Whitby Township to purchase a il tbdf e.'d N 119 .ÉSIà eJ. ti nw es lBw- asnSlieq. yhebI. m =raz ci 'fi ais esibEnno)