Wbitby free Pe~ Weclnesçlay. Apiji 2.1..1993. Page 7 PAGE SEVEN Rae of Hope Bill Swan has nothing to say this week. In his place_ we present the following transcript, which was dcli-A uered to the palatial offices of the Whitby Free Press in a brown vanilla envelope. Bob %se: and if you can explain that, l'Il be a witch's nanny.Ites over to you, Floyd. Floyd L: Thank you, Bob. Reinember -the days when the whole caucus would chant your name in adulation ... Loud voices: Premier Bob, Premier Bob, Premier Bob ... Floyd: Now they sound more like a lynch mob. From the back of the hall: What about the working man? Floyd: Very good. Peter Sellers, 1958, right? A good, jovial bit of gallows humor there, that's the spirit. Voices: 1 twarn'tjokin'. Floyd: 0f course, of course. Now we've got our lines have we? Our problem is (gestures with both hands, in lifting motion) our problem is. .. ? Various voices: A seventeen billion dollar deficit. Floyd: Very good, very good. And our solution is (more .gestures). ..9 Various: A social contract. Floyd: A.nd if someone suggests that means layofl's, downsizing and pay cuts we say (gestures)...? M Voices: We ail share the burden. Floyd: Back to you, Bob. Rae: I have a significant announcement, one that bodes well for out future, whatever 'bodes' means. We've stumbled on something that I cal' the Rae of Hope. Various: (Grumbling) Has he gone totally daft? Next he'll be taking up a collection for Mulroney's retirement fund. Rae: As 1 was saying, we've found the industry of the future. I read about it on Saturday oni the Science page of The Toronto Star. Where is it now? (turns pages of newspaper) Oh, right here we are. 'York- shireman's n uclear. blast-proofplastic stuns world.> Back-benchers: Is this a bloody April fool's prankRB WOKEG EF01BLIN TE or whatCANADIAN PACIFIC 1IAIWAY, 1913 llae: Listen: this guy, a hairdresser with flo T? otatrsegn sphtahdjs ot fteCR bridge over Dundas Street chemistry training, invents a plastic so hard that East. Construction of the Canadian Pacifie proceedcd through Whitby during 1913 and nothing can touch it. Not even an atomnie blast. Ya regular passenger and freight service began in Juy 1914. Wib mic ht can't heat iL, burn it, destroy it. Wlb rbv~ ht Floyd: 1 could use a suit made of that stuff. Re: A thin coatinig of this Starlite on a raw egg and it withstands an oxyacetylene torch. The Star story says the egg "rernained uncooked, undamaged 10 YEAIIS AGO and cou Id be handled with bare fingers immediately from the Wednesday, April 20, 1983 edition of the afterwards."WIIIfY FRIEE PRESS think you guys are bonkers, I really do. Coatin' raw * Mis Taylor will give an illustrated lecture on Roman Britain at the Ontario Ladies' Staff cleaner (Beginning Lo mop the floors.) I Lynde Creek. eggs fer Pete's sake. Withstanding a nuclear blast? College tomorrow.d oteseofhenwpbilbryntD da IL ouralits Nethe ha te wt ~ I Mr. and Mrs. W.A Holliday were pesented with a mantee dock by the congregation of iL really has. Believin' what you read in the paper. * nd yrnset. Ha. Po i icians. teuwi toBrooklin on their departume from the village. see an April Fool's prank if iL run 'emn over. _______________________________________