Whitby Free Press, Wedsiosday January 19, 1994, Page 7 Ask Bi I Ask Bill is an irregular feature of tis newspaper. For obvious reasons. For several years 1 have been suffering from itching, scaling skin. This does not bother me until 1 sit down to watch television. Then my skin crawls, and 1 feel sharp pin pricks, like someone has jabbed me with a hot needle. It gets worse ini bed at night. In the morning, I feel fine, and 1 arn free of symptoms at work. Is there something wrong with me, or is aIl in my head? -- Fred with the itchy head. Dear Fred: 0f course it's ail in your head. I'm surprised that a man of your educat ion - it shows in your writing style, you crafty fellow you - would miss this one. You azre describing one of the oldest afflictions )enown: the voodoo curse. T/w crawly skin sensation is likely caused by the handling of t/w voodoo doîl; the hot needle effect is caused by t/w insertion of red hot needles into a doîl image of you. Obuiously, someone does flot like you. .ýs there a cure? Unfortunately, no, ait hough some peoJ.ýle have lived reasonably normal lhues for mont ha with no other symptoms before dying in agony. -- Good luck P.S. In serious cases, the curse will affect your pets as weIl Signa of this are simple: the cat or dog wil scratch repeatedly, or bite at his I/wr own skin. Pue sent you free copy of my book The Cultures of Curses. Other readers may get t/wir copy by sending $29.99 c/Io this newspaper. Please make the cheques out to me dire ctly. I don't trust anybody. Dear Bill: I realize you are not a handyman. But from years of reading your column 1 know that anything you don't. know isn't worth knowing. Okay. So here's my problem: .For the past twelve years, my wife has been complaining that 1 don't do enough around the house. Worse, she complains about my two-week hunting trips in the fall, my one-week fishing trips in the spring, and three-week golf excursions ini the sum- mer. That was bad enough: now she complains because I want separate vacations. Let's get down te specifies. Since my wife works most Saturdays, she seems te think I should vacuum, dust, do dishes and stuff while she is at work. Do you have any suggestions on how 1 can fake this stuff without actually doing any of it? -- The Real Man Boy oh boy. Okay. First, ta/w an old paint roller. Getone of those long screw-in handies. Great. With a littie ingenuity, you can alter the roller so it wil leave uacuum-cleaner-like lines w/wn you roll it acrosa t/w rug. Leave t/w vacuum cleaner in the front hall for /wr to trip over w/wn s/w gets home. For dusting and dishes, knock over a few lamps, drop a few items of her best china. Meanwhile, I'ue sent you my vacuuming book Sucking Dirt. Other readers may get t/wir copy by sending $29.99 c/Io this newspaper. Dear Bill: The Bobbitt case has dominated the media for the past week or so. This is just a note from one reader who likes the way you don't go for cheap laughs. It must be difficuit for a columnist to avoid making fun of that scene where police officers searched a field until they found the victim, or parts thereof. - z- - r - - ,.k! .L m..-% - I Z I~ZwIÉiI~ILMU~ WIHTY INTERMEDIATE HOCKEY TEAMn C. 1921 This picture was taken beside Burne' Arena which stood on Green Street, where the liquor store ie now..Anyone who can supply the naines of the players ie asked to contact the Whitby Archives at 668-5570. Two identified are Newton Joynt and Larry Rice. Whltby ArchlVo photo 10 YEARS AGO from the Wednesday, January 18, 1984 edition of the WHITY FEE PRESS "Kurz Foode Ine. meat processing plant at Myrtie Station was destroyed in an $810,000 ire on Jan. 12. " A variety show directed by Bert Heaver will be the new format for the. Peter Perry Award presentation. "*Ilhe Kinsmen Club of Whitby plans to, raise $6,500 at its 13th annual skate-a-thon on Feb. 18. "* lhe route for GO Transies expansion fro= PIckering to, Oshawa was announced by Ontario Transport Minister James Snow. 35 YEARS AGO from the Thursda:y, January 15, 1959 edition of the WHIrB WEEKLY NEWS "* Whitby District H-igli School Board wants to purchase land for a new school. " Harry nkpen je the 1959 president of Canadian Legion Branch 112. " The fret blood donor clinie to, be held in Whitby wilI be at the high school on Jan. 21. " Dr. Matthew B. Dymond will toast the immortal memory'of Scottish poet Robert Burns on the 200th anniversary of hie birth at St. Andrew's Preshyterian Church on Jan. 23. 125 YEARS AGO from the Thursday, January 14, 1869 edition of the WHITBY CHRONICLE " lh Roral* Canadian Bank lias moved into the building on Brock Street vacated by the Mak lontreai. " Daniel Bette, councillor for Centre Ward, entertained hie friends and supporters with an Miss Evans and Mies Donaldson operate a ladies' echool in Whitby. *J.C. MePherson, late of the Union Hotel, Sacramnento, California, is proprietor of WVhitby's Albion Hotel. LII, le-moo- MIL ý a