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Wh itby Free Press, Wednesday, Augusi 24, 1994 ,Page 7 Amatter of balance Did 1 ever tell you the one about the professor, the canoe and the concrete block? No? WeIl, settie back. Venture with us now to a lake somewhere north. t is late March or early April. Snow bas melted from the shoreline, and the lake is flnally lear of ice. The wind stili drives down from the north, though. To be outdoors you want a parka, gloves, more winter garb than spring. So there is the. professor looking over bis lonely lake this early Spring day, standing there shivering in bis parka, imagining late August humidity, whate- ver. And he spies, on the surface of the lake, about thirty feet out from bis dock, a floating valve. Now he recognizes the valve; it is bis valve from bis water system. It is supposed to be twelve feet down, at the bottom of the lake, tied to a concrete block. This is a problem for fixing. That is wby men go to cottages: to fix things. He unzips bis jacket, bops into bis canoe, and paddles out to wbere the valve is bobbing. For a dloser look. Which proves be is rigbt: tbe valve is stiil attacbed to the intàke line, wbatever tbose tbings are called. It bad originally been tethered to a concrete block, wbich was supposed to bold it to the bottom. The tétber had corne undone. The professor deduces be could flot re-tether this valve line, tbe original concrete block, it being now somnewhere twvelve feet down in lake* water. So be goes to shore, locates another concrete block and tethering stuif, and returns, in bis canoe, to tbis spot on the lake tbirty feet from bis dock. Oarefully, be lifts the valve, brings it on board tbe canoe, and diigently attacbes it to tbe concrete block. Now ail tbat remains is to lower tbe block over the side. Neyer let it be said that the professor knows notbing about pbysics. He couniterbalances the forty pound concrete block by leaning forty pounds wortb in tbe opposite way. And lets go. This disturbs tbe equiibrium aboard tbe canoe, wbich is not forgiving. The weigbt gone frorn the starboard bow, tbe professor rolîs out and over on tbe port side. .Balance is niaintained: tbe block is in the water on one side, the professor in tbe water on the otber. A neigbbour wbo witnesses the scene later claimed the dive deserved a 'Seven,' maybe more. Calmly, knowing he bas a few minutes before bypotberinia, tbe professor pushes tbe canoe back to the dock, bauls himself out, sbakes bimself once like a wet puppy. He is still not sure be bas fixed the problern. He slips back into tbe canoe, paddles back out thirty feet, and carefully lifts tbe concrete block out of the water so be can see wbetber the valve bas stayed tetbered. It bas. But now, tbe concrete block is back on board. Once again, be lowers it over the starboard bow. Carefully, he leans to the port bow te counterba- lance and, one, two, tbree, lets go again. This disturbs tbe equiibrium aboard tbe canne, whicb still basn't forgiyen bim for tbe first time. Once more, tbe professor ends up back in tbe water, parka and al. The neigbbour, who also witnesses tbe second attempt, claimed it was wortb at least an 'Eigbt.' The professor says tbis wbole story is true. I believe bim. lin asking bim to recreate tbe wbole .~i~i1 ANNE OT11ENBR1TE IN PARADE, AUGUST 25p 1984 Whitby's Olympic Champion was given a mammoth parade on Anne Ottenbrite Da 10 years ago tomorrow. Record crowds turned out for this event honouring the winner o gold, silver and bronze medals in swimming at the Sumnier W'hpsinLosy Angelephot 10 YEARS AGO fron the WedneMsdayAuust 22, 1984 edition of the WTyFREEPRESS " Aug. 25 will be "Anne Ottenbrite Day" in Whitby The biggest parade ever in tbe town's history is being co-ordinated by Fire Chief Ed Crouch. " Television personality Wayne Thomas will open a new day care centre in Whitby. " A special edition of t he Free Press honours Anne Ottenbrite with photographs froni ber famil y album. " Regency P lace at Hickory Street and Regency Crescent is Whitby's latest senior citîzens'apartment building. 35 YEARS AGO from the ThflsaAWu t 2j1959 edition ofthe " Bill Graham of Wbitby bas been chosen as a member of the Toronto Argonauts football team. " New boundaries are being establisbed for Whitby's school areas. " Two Whitby men were arrested for breaking into the Legion Hall and stealing beer and cigarettes. " A six-quart basket of peaches costs 63 cents at the A & P store. 125 YEARS AGO frein the Thursday, August 19, 1869 edition of the WH1TBYsCHRONI CLE " A number. of Whitby residents went on a Masonic excursion from Port Perry te Lindsay and Fenelon Falls. " The Whitby YMCA bas expressed its sympathy te Rev. Kenneth MaclQnnan for the death ef bis eldest son Donald at the age of 14. " The first load of this year's barley crop was brougbt to town and stored in the warebouse at Port Whitby. " Miss Evans and Miss Donaldson will resume classes at tbeir ladies' scbool in Whitby on Aug. 30.