n f Smokers die young Smoking is s0 bad for you, it ... bar, har, har, har ...I have a bard time keeping a straight face over this one.. okay, lot me start ail over again. Soriously, now. A study released ten days ago claims that smoking is so bad for you it .. . har, har, bar, har, .. oh, please stop stop stop stop stop. Ahem. Really serious up, now. This whoie thing started in June when representativos of Imperial tobacco commissioned a study on the economics of smoking. Sounds pretty straigbt forward: a tobacco company sets out to get one of the best economists money can buy. The economist was one Jean-Pierre Vidai. I've not beenDWUwt itU abie to get a copy of his original report. Apparentiy it was not supposed to be released to the public. What did Imperiai expect from such a study? _______________________________________ Well, for one thing, the tobacco industry faces a ________________________________________ well.organized anti-smoking lobby. And that anti-smoking lobby bas respectable studies, with reai cbarts and arrows and grapbs and stuf wbich indicate one tbing: Smokers die long, lingering deaths. Aiso, since they do, smokers are a costly drain on our 4 bealtb costs.A In fact, smokers cost more in bealtb care than they provide in taxes. Even in the good oid days when smokers paid lots and lots and lots of taxes. Except smuggiers didn't. But that's another story. What the tobacco industry wanted was a study that said, 'Weii, now, it's not ail that bad.' So Irnperiai bired Jean-Pierre Vidai, an economist. And Jean-Pferre camne up with a study (compiete, I amn sure, with graphs and charte and circies and arrows and poiyunsaturated standard deviations.) * The concusion: that smokers pay more in taxes than w tbey cost in health care. The reason? Because smoking is 80 bad for you .. bar, bar, bar, oh I can't ... so bad for you . .. bar, har, bar, that -Z,~ ~ Zr'~2~Y < it kilis you ... bar, bar, bar, it kilis you . .. oh, I can't go on 4, ..bar, bar, bar.. . Abem. Reaily, Bill. -î__ýY9u The study said: smokers die young. TEDDY ROWE, THlE EMPIRE'S BONNIEST BABY, JULY 289 1924 Now you don't have to, be a rocket scientist, or an A coremony wiii be boid on Heritage Day, Sept. 10, at noon on Byron Streot North to economist either for that matter, to, realize that Imperial commomorate this little boy wbo won a baby contest over 60,000 othor entries from the British Empire 70 years ago. His sister, Margaret Scott, wiil cut a cake to mark the TobacSo reaily didn't want that conclusion. anniversary of 'ieddy's achievement. htyzevspoo The whole tobacco industry bas been denying forWhtyAhiepho generations that smoking causes beaith problems. Hock, we 10 YEIARS AGO ail saw that chorus lino of tobacco executives swearing Prom the Wednesday, S ep tomber 5, 1984 edition of the before the U.S. committee on something or other that ... 0 Progressive Conservative Scott Fenneli was re-elected by a iandsiide in yesterday's giggle, giggie, 'Smoking is not addictive.' Tee, bee. Federai Election in Ontario Riding. But that was in the U.S. And anybody wbo bas ever 0 Bisbop Robert B. Clune wili conduct an annuai mass for the deceased at Resurrection Cemetery on Sept. 8. te admit that smoking kilis people.a A wood cutter named Murphy May lose a foot, after it was run over by a railway car Ail tbey bad te do iast week was cail a press conference, t therWhtby Grand Trunk Rtailway station. hold up a copy of the study and bar bar bar bar bar .... 0Lqo merchant R.H. Jameson is selling Ciaret at 80 cents a galion. If it weren't so sad it realiy would be funny.1 Whitby Free Press, Wednesday, Septpmber 7, 1994. Page 7 i g