2 Friday, May 11, 2018 brooklintowncrier.com I'm the mom of a little girl who loves sports. She prefers gym clothes to dresses, collects hockey pucks and LOL dolls and likes LEGO over Barbies. Some might call these typical boy preferences. She's also a "typical" girl. Her neon pink tee-shirts shout phrases like "I'm a girl, what's your superpower" and "Girls never give up." They express girl power and I love it. But I also wonder why her tee-shirt needs to have such bold statements. Her clothing ironically shows just how much is still to be done in gender equity. Though parents of girls worry about the best way to raise them to become assertive, the truth is that boys need to hear those same lessons. All kids should learn and understand mutual respect. Only by teaching our sons the same lessons as our daughters can we ensure that everyone is on the same page. Therefore, if we want to teach gender equity, we need to step back and think about the messages we send our children every day. Gender's no excuse I get frustrated when people use gender as an excuse for behaviour. Why do we do it? When boys rough house or catcall, we dismiss it with "Boys will be boys." When girls are excluding a child as a way to gain power, the drama is called "a girl thing." No, it's not. It's just wrong. Gender doesn't excuse it. It's time to stop attributing behaviour to gender and help kids understand how their words and actions impact others. The media doesn't help with its barrage of gender stereotypes. When "American Idol" featured a male contestant who preferred to perform as a girl (Adam/Ada Fox), my daughter found it confusing. It wasn't something she'd seen before. I had to gently explain that while it is different, there's no reason why he shouldn't express himself in the way that makes him feel his best. She thought that made perfect sense and admired Ada's glittering ball gown, saying it was "so cool." My daughter has experienced gender labels, too. She's been referred to as a "Tomboy." I correct them by saying, "Yes, she's an athlete," preferring the gender-neutral language this implies. She likes to learn about all kinds of athletes and sports so I point out athletes I think she can identify with. And no, they aren't always female. She loves figure skater Gabby Daleman, but Patrick Chan is her favourite for his jumps. Her hockey favs, whom she admires equally, are Jen Wakefield and Mitch Marner. Show them heroes While the "me too" movement is a great example of changes being made towards gender equity, it can be challenging to discuss with kids. We can show them heroes, historical figures, and everyday people in the community who make a difference. When you describe how the world has changed and who helped it to occur, it's easier to explain. It's also important to point out there's still work to do and we must all play a part. When our kids can see how both men and women shape this world, they develop high emotional intelligence and empathy. Children with greater empathy form lasting relationships based on mutual respect. They see how their actions hurt others and learn to empathize with peers. While gender equity is a work in progress, the more we chip away at inequities, the closer we get to our goal. It begins with talking to our kids. Our Brooklin Kids By Leanne Brown Gender equity starts with talking to our kids