2 Friday, January 4, 2019 brooklintowncrier.com Less than half the picture: By Richard Bercuson 2019 Stories We'd Love to See Beaver Pond Beavers have been discovered in the Stormwater Management Pond at the south end of the Spring Fair grounds. Having destroyed about a third of the trees around the pond to make dams that dam up nothing, Whitby staff determined these aren't terribly bright beavers. So they plan to trap them and deliver them to a suitable location along highway 412, along with a large sign that reads, "Dam it!" Rhonda for PM? Having first won a ward victory and then a regional council seat, both within 28 months, Rhonda Mulcahy is being wooed by various federal parties to run in the October election. However, the NDP isn't yet so sure. An unnamed source tells the BTC that, unless someone can prove she owns and actually wears Birkenstock sandals, it's unclear if that party should pursue her further. Transit this Someone in Durham Transit, which mostly leaves Brooklin swinging in the wind, took exception to the recent survey sent out by the Town of Whitby to all residents. When they heard about the "Can a bus" survey and whether or not Whitby should opt out, one official was overheard to say,"Well, look, if those Whitby people are wondering if a bus can or can't, maybe we shouldn't drive in Whitby at all." Committee of the What? Whitby Town Council recently took great pride in announcing its new committee structure. Individual Operations and the Planning and Development Committee will be rolled into one and replaced by Committee of the Whole. However, council is also contemplating these names: Committee of Come Together Right Now as One with Unified Feelings The Kumbaya Committee Committee of Committees IOPaDCom Committee of All Parts making the Whole A Lot of Something The vacant lot at the corner of Baldwin and Way Streets was supposed to be the home of a new RBC Branch. Readers may have noticed that absolutely nothing's happened there for quite some time. The BTC has learned that the lot isn't really vacant after all, though it is to the naked eye. Canada's elite special operations force, JTF2, has secretly constructed an underground facility, which is why there's been no construction on the site. Meanwhile, our local Legion 152 has been mum on what goes on in its basement. Hostile takeover An unsettling rumor abounds that this newspaper is being hunted by what sources tell us is Breitbart News in the United States. Evidently the conservative news outlet is looking for a toe-hold in Canada and wants to do it through community papers. Have a wonderful 2019, even if there's not a whit of truth to any of the above. "Proud to be a Brooklinite" Founded in 2000 and published 24 times per year. Editor, Richard Bercuson 613-769-8629 • editorofbtc@gmail.com The Brooklin Town Crier is locally owned and operated and is a publication of Appletree Graphic Design Inc. We accept advertising in good faith but do not endorse advertisers nor advertisements. All editorial submissions are subject to editing. For advertising information, contact: 905.655.7642 Email: brooklintowncrier@gmail.com Next Issue: Friday, January 18, 2018 Deadline: Friday, January 11, 2018 Letter to the Editor: No Cannabis! Brooklin is a growing family town, a destination for many relocating from Toronto, because of its hometown appeal. Please do not ruin this aspect of Brooklin by bringing cannabis into it. If residents want the stuff badly enough, they can go elsewhere to get it rather than make it too easy. This drug, in my opinion, would make it harder for our stores to continue to do business effectively. We do not need our children endangered nor compromise our addiction abuse centre's efforts to heal. When it all boils down to it, the real reason cannabis has been legalized is because there is money to be had. - Anne Keefer Wishing You All a Happy and Healthy New Year!