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WINNETKA WEEKLY TALK, SATURDAY, AUGUST 7, 1920 ONLY A COPPER One of Winnetka's studious police- men came upon the accompanying bit of philosophy the other day and said is bore repeating. Only a Copper (By Dan B. Hosmer, Supt. Bureau of Identification, Wichita). If he's neat--he's conceited. If he's careless--he's a bum. If he's pleasant--he's a flirt. If he's brief--he's a grouch. If he hurries--he overlooks things. If he takes his time--he's lazy. If you get pinched--he's had it in for you. If he passes you up--he's easy. If he's energetic--he's trying to make a record. If he's deliberate--he's too slow to catch cold. If you strike him--he's a coward. If he strikes you--he's a bully. If he out-wits you--he's a sneak. If you see him first--he's a bomne- head. If he makes a good "catch"--he's lucky. If he misses it--he's a simp. If he gets promoted--he's got a pull. If he don't--Oh, what's the use. You can please part of the people all the time, And part of the people, part of the time, But you can't please some of the peo- ple, any of the time. AUGUST 21 IS DATE OF RACES AT ELGIN; DAY NOT ADVANCED Chicago.--August 21 is the date for the eighth resumption of the Elgin national road race, which is sponsor- ed this year by the Chicago Motor club. Considerable confusion has existed concerning the date, the er- roneous report having gained cir- culation that the race has been put forward to August 14. C. A. Johnson TAILOR LITTER Why not get the longest wear pos- sible out of a suit of clothes. Letus clean and press your suit and in- sure 1t longer wear. UT C.A. Johmon TAILOR 552 West Railroad Ave. Phone 1522 Winnetka | When the Chicago Motor club first undertook the revival of the historic road race, the date was set for Au- lgust 21." Promoters of the Uniontown |race track asked officials of the Am- |erican Automobile association to re- quest the Chicago officials to advance the date to August 14 on the grounds that the later date would not allow sufficient time for drivers who com- peted at Elgin to ship their cars to Union town for the Labor Day race there. When it was pointed out that Labor Day this year fell on Sep- tember 6 and the drivers would have two weeks in which to ship their cars, A. A. A. officials refused to interfere with the original Elgin date. NORTH SHORE DAY Thursday, August 12, is North Shore club day at the Racine Coun- try club. On that day members of the North Shore Golf club at Kenil- worth expect to journey in a body to the Wisconsin club for a day of recreation. Special cars will leave the Kenilworth station at 7:30 o'clock in the morning. A big day is promis- ed the members of the club. DIRECTORIES PRINTED Directories of the north shore is- sued each four years by K. F. Bum- stead, 207 Main street, Evanston, are now off the press and will be ready for distril-ution this week, according to an announcement by Mr. Bum- stead. GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY OKLAHOMA INDIAN LANDS WITH U. S. GOVERNMENT TITLE This is your last opportunity, for this is the last of these lands to be sold. These lands are located in the oil area and purchaser gets all oil, gas and rights including valuable You purchase the land out- | Thousands of acres in leased to oil com- panies and drilling now going on in every county. You can secure these lands in small tracts ranging from 40 to 160 acres at $9.50 to $12.50 per acre, and pay for same on small payment plan. Perfect Title-Bonded Abstract. I live in Oklahoma and am in a posi- tion to furnish many Oklahoma Bank references. Call, write or phone D. G. WILLIAMS, 6230 Greenwood Avenue, | 1st apt. Phone Midway 6921. --Adv. | mineral timber. right (in fee). this section now I | IZ ~~ 77 Wet Umbrellas RE RL ALMOST all forms of moisture are con- SCOTT JORDAN, Pres. and Treas. CADY M. JORDAN, Vice-Pres. and Sec'y 612 Davis St., Evanston 164 N. MICHIGAN BLVD., CHICAGO -- -- ductors of electricity, and a wet umbrella coming in contact with the telephone cord will short-circuit the wires and cut off service. A carelessly handled glass of water, an overflowing ink- well, rain froman open win- dow, the careless mopping of office floors,--any one of these may cut off your telephone service, if a wet telephone cord results. Please protect the cord, and all interior wiring and telephone equipment, from moisture. CHICAGO TELEPHONE Est. 1854 Chapel at Each Establishment Complete Line of Funeral Furnishings Phone Evanston 449 Phone Randolph 1346-1347 WILMOT WHITAKER Assistant Sec'y C.. H. JORDAN & CO., Funeral Directors 1522 E. 53rd ST., HYDE PARK For the For the Shoppers For the Business Man Theatre and Dinner Party 6:52 a. 7:22 a. 7:52 a. 8:22 a. Every Half Hour Thereafter: 11:22 a. 11:52 a. 12:22 p. 12:52 p. Then Every Half Hour Until: 4:22 p. 4:52 p 5:22 p. 5:52 p. 6:22 p. 6:52 p. 7:22 p. » ARRIVE CHICAGO m. m. m. m. m. m. mm. m. BBBEHBBREB NOR When Traveling to Chicago North Shore Trains Will Save You Time! Operate Directly Into Loop "L" Stations LEAVE WINNETKA: 7:44 a. m. 8:14 a. m. 8:44 a. m. 9:14 a. m. 12:14 p. m. 12:44 p. m. 1:14 p. m. 1:44 p. m. pt be LE E-EE EE BEBBERE ~EXR FS En Be NN - NN] 8s ss se ee ee oe ee od Rd Then every half hour until 12:52 a. m. Last train 1:52 a. m. Trains Operate on Standard Time For further information, apply to the Chicago North Shore & Milwaukee R. R. Winnetka Ticket Office Elm Street Phone: Winnetka 963 Do you know that the Easy Vacuum Washer Easy to se Easy to Keep Clean Easy on the Current Easy on the Clothes Easy to Buy and asy to Pay for out of the money it saves? Do you know it 1s "Easy" to iron with a Simplex? The Simplex Ironer will do a day's iron- ing in about an hour "Easy" and it 1s easy to see that it pays for itself from the saving of time and fuel, and the value of the satis- faction, convenience and pleasure derived fromits use cannot be estimated in figures. See.them both in oper- ation tomorrow. ¥ INCORPORATED 'FOVNIAIN SQVARE - AH ULLRICH Pry ANSTON