Clarington Digital Newspaper Collections

Canadian Statesman (Bowmanville, ON), 24 Sep 1975, Section 2, p. 5

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Section Two The Canadian Statesman, Bowmanville. Seotember 24. 1975 5 Out of the Mouths of Babet by E.P.c hant Whoever wrote the liples "Nothing's impossible we have found." certainly didn't look very hard. Face it, there are things that are humanly impossible to do - sorry, but that's the way it is. For instance.......it is impos- sible to stick your elbow in your ear.....it is impossible to define yellow to a person who has been blind from birth.....it is impossible to place a four hundred pound man on a vertical toothpick and expect to use it again.......it is impossible to write a poem and try and get a word to rhyme with "orange," al- though "door-hinge" is pretty close.......it is impossible to drown a fish.......it is impos- sible to strangle yourself to death with your own hands (you would go unconscious first, relaxing your grip)....... it is impossible to carry on an intelligent conversation with a cabbage (a turnip, yes, but not a cabbame).,.....it is imoos- sible to guess a song by writing down a notaion such as this - "DA-DA, DA DA DA DA" (that's "The Star-Spang- led Banner, by the way)......it is impossible to find a man who has been a bigamist more than once (such a huge mistake is seldom repeated)... it is impossible to be absolute- ly sure about anything - I'm sure......it is impossible for a human on Earth not to have been born here (?)......it is impossible to break an egg between your palms with your fingers intertwined(?)......it is impossible to type one hun- dred words a minute on a Chinese typewriter (Guinness' Book of World Records lists the top speed at about eleven words per minute)......it is impossible to "live it up" if you're dead (it is practically impossible to do anything when you're dead)......it is impossible to understand what a Russian song is about if you don't understand Russian....... it is impossible to read a book and not learn anything......it is impossible to be totally fearless because you'll always have the fear that you're afraid of something you don't know you're afraid of yet....... it is impossible to figure out that last impossibihty, I'm afraid.......it is impossible for a young person to appreciate Lawrence Welk.......it is impossible to read "War and Peace" backwards and get the plot.......it is impossible for man to mentally encompass a quarter of the things in the universe. About the egg thing - it is impossible to believe every- thing you read. Sorry about the mess. St. PauI's U.C.W. un September 16th, the members of St. Paul's U.C.W. held a "Pot Luck" dinner in the church. Everyone enjoyed a most delicious dinner. The -emainder of the meeting was field in the Fellowship Room where President Mrs. O. Dalrymple conducted a devo- tional, centering her thoughts on "The Harvest." Mrs. D. Gillespie gave an excellent report on the Quin- Mo-Lac School for U.C.W. held at our church camp on Moira Lake early in September. The theme of the camp was Bible Explorations, under the lead- ership of Miss Carol James and Rev. Frazer Lacey. Ross Metcalf led the music for the camp. Over 240 women from the Bay of Quinte Conference attended. Mrs. E. Schamerhorn, showed slides along with a tape, entitled "This is Your Life, St. Paul's." Everyone enjoyed seeing their church family in pictures. These pictures have been taken throughout the year at special events such as Hallowe'en party, HI-C car wash, choir party, camping weekend at Schamerhorn's cottage, an- niversary services, communi- cants' class and many other events in the past year at St. Paul's.* A short business period was conducted by the president and the meeting was adjourned. Durham Planning New Cours~e Many businessmen and wo- men need to know more about their businesses. Just how much does excess inventory hurt your business? Is man- power training worth the cost? Which order should I process first? What is the right amount of emphasis on quali- ty? These questions and their interaction will be faced each night by the students in The Manufacturing. Organization course. This will be done with a dynamic business game in which each participant will -weekly make decisions involv- ng manpower production plans, material purchases, quality and maintenance ex- penses. Each evening, through the use of a computer Ments will receive immedi- ,,-iresults of their decisions. No computer knowledge is necessary. This course is very popular in the daytime program and is now offered at night on Thursdays from 8 to 10 p.m. beginning October 9. It will be of nterest to those in a wide spectrum of manufacturing and service industries. Call 576-0210 (ext. 236) for further assistance or visit the College Sept. 16, 17 or 22 from 6:30 - 9:00 p.m. for evening registration. You can also enroll weekdays from 9 a.m. to 4:45 p.m. USE YOUR WALKERS OPTION CHARGE ACCOUNT, CHARGEX OR MASTER CHARGE. NG ST. EAST BOWMANVILLE " CHARGEX 623-5451

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