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The Canadian Statesman, Bowmanville, March 10, 1976 Se How toFindf By John Squirreliy It used to be in the olden days that if a fellow wanted a job, he walked into a factory or an office and asked for one. No so any more. They don't hire anyone at the personnel office now because there's no one there that knows how to do it. All the people in personnel (now called Employee Relations) are trained simply to administer health plans, dental plans, drug plans and pension plans. As well, they form an almost limitless number of committees that deal with employee education, safety, attendance at AA meetings and grievances. Which is to say, once they get an em- ployee, there is no end of services available to help him. It's rather like massive post- natal care. But, you ask (and well you should), who the heck hires them in the first place? Well, while the care and feeding of workers is given over to the specialists mentioned above, their original procurement is also handed to specialists. They are called Management Consultants. Management Consultants are all former personnel officers, which explains, of course, why there are none left in the factories and offices. However, since they get paid by the number of bodies they place into jobs, they bend over backwards to find a position that fits whatever meagre credentials you might have. The other day, I walked into the office of Q. Robert Pinwhistle and Associates, Management Consultants, to try my luck. After looking dispairingly at my qualifi- cations and past work history, he suggested that I should have a battery of psycholog- ical test to determine what my real abilities were. An appointment was made for the next day and, when I showed up, I was turned over to a prim, thin-lipped woman who bore 'a remarkable re- semblance to the grade five teacher who crowned me with an atlas for cribbing on a geography test. There were two other people taki g tests that morning. One looked like an undertaker who eyed everyone else as if he were measuring them for a fit. The second had the appear- ance of a swinger, with curled hair, Fu Manchu moustache and a Harris tweed safari suit. I imagined he probably had a Corvette parked outside. Miss Prim handed out some sheets. "These", she said, "are designed to measure your English language skills. I want you to write down as many words as you can that end in -ion. You have five minutes." The undertaker and the swinger fell to scribbling with a fervour. It took me a moment to get my thoughts focused and even then I couldn't think of any short words that had an -ion ending. I was writing things like perambulation, concate- nation, and confederation. When the five minutes were up, I had got about half way down the page. The embalmer and Mr. Cool, I noticed, had both filled up their pages. The .next test was mathe- matical problem solving. We had a full half hour for this. I breezed through the first six questions but then they start- ed to get a bit more difficult. One puzzler read: "Three men rent a hotel room, paying $10 dollars each. The room clerk decides $10 each is too much and asks the bell boy to return $5 to the men. How- ever, the bell boy keeps $2 for himself and returns just $3 which means that the men paid only $9 each for the room since each received a dollar back. Now, 3 times $9 equals $27 and adding in the $2 the bell boy took, it equals only $29. What happened to the extra dollar?" I sweated over that one for five precious minutes before I abandoned it and went on to the next, which was even worse. Whei the time was up, I had hardly got twenty of the IF PEOPLE SEEM TO MUMBLE ARE HARD TO UNDERSTAND JACK STEWART HEARING AID SPECIALIST Don't always blame them, even a mild hearing loss can make conversation sound blurred. Let us put your mind at rest. Have an Electronie Hearing Test with a Beltone Audiometer. This takes but a few minutes, and there is no obligation. Come in and see us at our regular service centre at Flying Dutchman MOTOR INN Liberty St. and 401 Bowmanville Thursday, March 11, 1976 1-4 p.m. or Phone 623-3373 and I'll come to see you &Jtone Hearing Aid Service 849 Alexander Crt. Peterborough, Ontario 745-3244 ction Two a Job questions while the mortician and laughing eyes appeared to be part way down the last page. Most of the day continued in much the same fashion, with the grave digger and prettV boy handing in nearly completed tests while mine were scratched out, eussed over and generally disastrous. When I met Mr. Pinwhistle the next day, I asked how I had done. "Splendid, splend- id," he beamed. "And we have a position ready and waiting for you. Report to Mr. Snarl at Worldwide Industries tomorrow morning." I duly reported the following day and was told that my new job was in Sanitation Engin- eering and Environmental Control of Particle Pollution. Naturally, I was surprised and pleased. I must have done much better on the tests than I thought, I said to myself. "You'll need some equip- ment for the job," Mr. Snarl said, "Here." He handed me a broom. ORONO NEWS (Intended for iast Week) Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Harris retVrned home on Monday from visiting Mr. and Mrs. Roy Fulford and children at Meaford. Mr. and Mrs. John Conforzi and son John Jr. of Toronto spent Sunday with her parents Mr. and Mrs. Gordon Power. Mr. and Mrs. Jim Randall of Oshawa were Sunday dinner guests of his aunt Mrs. Herb Murray. Due to the storm on Tuesday - a number of meetings were cancelled and the schools were closed. Mr. and Mrs. Robt. Morton were Sunday noon guests of his mother Mrs. Geo. Morton. Mr. Ulmont M. Bullock - age 73 - husband of Mrs. Mary Manuel Bullock - passed away at the Memorial Hospital Bowmanville on Monday, March 1st, 1976. Rested at the Barlow Funeral Home with complete funeral service at the Orono United Church at 3 p.m. Wednesday. Spring interment at Lakefield Cemetery. Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth Ball were Sunday evening dinner guests of Mr, and Mrs. Laverne Patterson, Division Street. Congratulations to Darlene Staples age 13 who received first class honors in piano Gr. II. Mrs. Randy McLeod is ber music teacher. Mrs. Spence Gordon attended the wedding of her grandson Gary Munford in Calgary, Alberta on Saturday, February 28th and plans to visit his parents Mr. and Mrs. Elmer Munford and family at McCord, Sask. for awhile. Mr. and Mrs. Alvin Yeo and son Scott also were guests and have returned home by plane. Mrs. Muriel Penford Staples age 85, wife of the late Melville Staples, R. R. Orono, passed away at the Memorial Hospital Bowmanville on Sun- day, February 29th. Funeral service from the Morris Funeral Chapel on Wednesday at 1:30 p.m. Inter- ment in the family plot, Bowmanville Cemetery. Mr. Austin Turner, age 73, of R. R. 2 Newcastle husband of Mrs. Audrey Cowan Turner - passed away suddenly at Lakeland, Florida, on Friday, February 27th, 1976. Minor Injuries, MuchDamage When Cars Meet Few Drivers. Caught with OId Stickers Fioonmcordong to reports fro 1t z both Newcastle OPP and Durham Regional Police in Bowmanville last week, not many people have tepted to drive their cars r.1976 validation stickers. Following the deadline of midnight Feb. 28 both depart mentsreportonly a couple of charges each but admit that perhaps some just weren't caught in the act. The OPP report that the new seatbelt legisiation bas tallied toee charges in the New- castle detachment area while Regional Police in Bowman- ELDAD U.C.W. Eldad U.C.W. met on March cat the home of Mrs. Lloyd Broome. President Mrs. Har- vey Yellowlees called the ,< meeting to order and asked Mrs. Francis Johnson secre- tary-treasurer for the min- ~ ~ utes. Mrs. Cli -ence Bray gave asthe Worsip Service, and then topic. She told us about the Role of Women in Canada, we were able to see how the lives of women arechanging. HWe Fortunately, injuries to two parties> were only minor in this 5:20 p.m. crash March lst at the General were reminded about the Store Corner in Ennîskîllen.The'71 Chevy II, right, operated by Ronald Blackburn of Enniskillen was U.C.W Annual Meeting at aRoad 3, negotiating a left turn at the corner. The '69 Olds driven by Otto Jost of Harmony United Church, westoun on eginalMrch. ranc wahs sered Hampton was eastbound and came over the crest of the hili, colliding with the Blackburn vehicle.btMaresu.re fo ahn Mi-r utes.Mrs. re asnendBray av Provincial Constable Eugene Fitzgerald investigated, estimating damage to each vehicle at $1,500. Dorothy Pascoe. Next meet- -Photo by Doug Taylor ng April 5. ville have laid no charges under the new law. Speed limits which were reduced to 60 on Highway 401 and 50 on all secondary highways are having an in- teresting affect. It would appear that the majority of drivers seem willing to obey the 60 limit on 401 but can't get down to 50 on other roads. As a result the month of February brought a total of 189 speeding charges in the Newcastle OPP detachment area while the impaired driver seems on the increase again with 20 charged in February. Top PLUM/ING SER V/CE- VED RENDER, YSKOUR NE6HBOUR ?EÏ4 REMEMBER yý ý ',THE HARVEY PARTNER ORONO 983-5206 ESSO'HOME KEAT SERVKE i S Grand opelnn a gae OU a 'ls . k% s Now available in Durham Region 24 HOUR SERVICE by the Durham Home Owners Service Ltd. The Company was formed by the many yeors combined experience oi respected contractors in the Durham area. Its primary purpose is to safeguard membeqs from overcharging and poor workmonship. 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