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6 The Canadian Statesman, Bownanvilîe, lune 16, 1976 Section Two TeAge o f Co0-mpu te rS, by John Squirrelly A recent report in the Globe and Mail, about the diabolical adventures of a wayward computer in the Ontario Transportation and Commun- ications Ministry, has remind- ed me of an episode in my life that 1 had hoped was forgot- ten. t seemas that this particular machine has a Kingston woman listed as the owner of 800 cars although she swears to having only one. In another case, a York Regional police- man has received more than 100 tickets for offences in- volving a car he did not own. And, of course, the list goes on. My unfortunate situation involved one government, a board of education and a bank. However, it turned out for the best, eventually. First, the federal govern- ment insisted that I did not exist, despite a sworn state- ,ment on my part to the -contrary. I received a very nice letter from Statistics Canada thanking me for my ntreddeclaration that I waindeed, alive but that since I was not on any of their tapes or discs, they were forced to conclude that my daàim to being human was a mere figment of my non-exist- ent imagination. I decided to speak to my MP about it and dropped in to see him at his local riding office. I explained my position. "What party do you belong to?" he asked, shoving an application form across the desk to me. "I don't belong to any party," I told him. "I'm politically independent. I like to keep my options open." He eyed me for a few seconds. "At the moment, you are politically and independ- ently a non-entity. Now if you want me to help you get a name plus ahl the advantages that go with it, well, I mean, one hand washes another, doesn't it? " "Insurance Costs Less Tha n 1Per Cent of Va lue?" Correct. Insurance ta protect- furs, jewelry, coin and stamp collections, artworks and sporting goods usually costs considerably less than 1 per cent of value. Such 'floater policies' cover Ioss, theft or accidentai damnage, bath on and off the premises. James Insuranie Agencu Limited DOUGLAS S. JAMES 24 KING ST. E., BOX 100 BOWMANVILLE, ON1-Z-ý OFFICE 623-4406 (e ») RES. 63ý02 w "But, 1 have a name," I blurted. "I also have a social insurance number and a passport. " "Not according to the fed- erai government," be replied. "You know, tbey believe computers don't make mis- takes. It will take you tbree years to correct tbat error, sometbing I can do in tbree weeks. And if you try to protest by refusing to pay your- income tax, tbéy'll assign you another number only this one wiil be stamped on your prison dungarees." I signed. "Welcome to the party, 411-132-772, " be said jovially. My next encounter witb the world of cybernetics occurred wben I attempted to get a copy of my bigb school diploma from the county board of education. "I'm sorry," the clerk said, after be had pushed my name througb the computer, "but I don't seem to, be able to find a record of your ever baving been bere. Did you speli your name right on this form?' I cbecked it over and assured hlm that 1 bad. He pushed some buttons, the reels of tape whirred around and stopped. Notbing came out. The clerk came back. "Sorry, sir, tbere's no record. Are you quite sure you went to scbool bere? " "Look," I bellowed, "I bave iived in this area all my life. 1 spent five years at that bigb scbool. Now why can't you find me?" "Computers don't make mistakes," he said loftily. "I would suggest that perhaps you are confused. Several of the counties around here bave similar names, like Waterioo, Wellington and Wentwortb. Wby don't you try one of those. Oh, PLEASE, sir!" I was holding on to bis lapel. "I'need that diploma to enter a course tbat is very important to, my job, " I gritted, "and if I don't get in because of you, L'I sue you and your wboie board right down to, its socks." The cierk went away, oniy to, reappear a short time later after a burried conference in one of the offices. "L've finally founu it, sir," be said triumpbantly waving the copy. "I told you com- puters didn't make mistakes." That may be so, I thought to, myseif later, but I noticed that the grades were a lot bigher than I rememberd, plus the fact that I received excellent marks in tbree subjects 1 bad neyer taken. 'The last debacle bappened at my bank. Confident that 1 had fourteen dollars in my account, I tried to witbdraw ten for my weekly visit to the grog sbop. "LI'm sorry, sir,- the clerk informed me airiiy, "but your account is $2,000 overdrawn. " "Tbat's preposterous," I spluttered, ",tbere's some mis- take." " 1Computers don't make mistakes," shesaid icily. I demanded to, see the manager wbo reiterated the clerk's belief in the infallibil- ity of the machines and then told me that I would have to cover the overdraft witbin ten days. I stormed out. Lt was iess than two days later that an investment officer witb the same bank called to mention tbat since I had $1400 in my account, perbaps I would be interested in putting a tbou- sand into a debenture. 1 toid hlm be must be joking since I didn't have anywhere DX PREMIUM, j WELCL FUELOIL and STOVE OIL BOWMANVILLE CUSTOMERS CALI COLLECT Ask Operator for 668-3381 or Dial1 1-668-3381 CALL US V II I TODAY D PEL I FOR PROMPT, COU RTEOUS SERVI-Cr: Do You Need Money?, $2,OOO0- $50,OOO0 - lst, 2nd or 3rd Mortgages - Cut Your Payments in Haif - Consolidate Ail Your Loans -Pay Off an Existing Mortgage - Combine 2 Mortgages into One - Purchase or Improve Property 'Any Worthwhile Purpose Fa rms -Com mercial1 - Residential1 Mike Coughli n Tel. 705-743-2501 Great Northern Financial Corp. - S AMtE DAY APPROVALS - 1near tbat amount on deposit 1but be 'qaid that computers tdon't make mistakes and there was no doubt but that it was there. I thanked hlm cordially, bung up and raced to, the bank. 1 withdrew a tbousand dollars and invest in a selection of fine wines that, is the envy of the neigbbourbood. Lt was as I was taking the cork out of the second bottle of Beaujolais 1947 that I began to appreciate the fact that icomputers don't make mis- takes. The wîne was excellent. ENNISKILLEN Intended for Last W&ek For some reason only 50 folks attended the morning service to bear clarifying messages on Worid Develop- ment. Ray Ashton presided at the Organ for bis 10 voice choir with ladies' iead part as they gave a devout rendition of the Antbem "To Do Tby Will". The Jr. Cburth was taken by Pat Beckett, The Chiidren's Story (Chancel) It's ail up to, you illustrated by story of a iittle boy, a bird and bis grandfatber to impress the need for us to do right by others. Our minister's sermon was on "The Good Life". He said that tbrougb the many media sources the reports of social justices and injustices are blatant as ail our Cbiidren of God so ail sbould share the good things of Life. In introspect are we fulfilling our commitments, in every pos- sible way, to God and our fellow creatures. Our deeds sbould embrace justice, loving kindness and humility. Let us listen and follow the secret of the "Good Life" and give tbanks for the opportunities, we have and must sbare. In the past is the final Bible Class for the year at the home of Mrs. Edna Pbilip on Wednesday of this week at 10 p.m. The future events are - Remember to support our stalîs at the Bazaar to be beld in the Darlington Arena, Hampton on Sat., dune 19th witb donations of Arts, Crafts, books etc. wbicb can be left next week at Siemon's store. Business Directory Accountancy WM. J. H. COGGINS Chartered Accountanit 715 Liberty Stree4 South Bowmnanville Phone 623-3612 WILLIAM C. HALL B. Com m. Chartered Accountant 361/2 King St. E., Oshawa Telephane 725-6539 D. V. SNODDON 14 Frank Street Boakkeeping and Tax Service Business: 623-4597 Residence: 623-7308 JOHN MANUEL, C.G.A. 67 King St. East, Suite 2 623-6555 HAAR, CHAPMAN & FLETT Chartered Accountants Suite 202, 54 Centre St. N., Oshawa, 728-7363 133 Church St., Bowmanvilîe 623-6868 Chiropractic LAURENCE A. GREY Doctar of Chiropractic 270 King St. East Bowm anv 11e Phone 623-4004 G. EDWIN MANN, D.C. Ch iropractor Office: 15 Elgin Street Corner of Horsey Street Phone 623-5509 Off ice Hours: By appointment Dental1 DR. ANGUS M. BLAIR D.D. S. 26 Frank St., Bowmanville (near Dominion Store) Office Hours,: 9:30 a.m. to 9p.m. including Saturday Telephone 623-3181 DR. WILLIAM KEANE Dental Surgeon 222 King Street East Professional BIdg. Office Hours: Weekdays 9 -5 Telephone 623-7412 If busy - 623-4731 DR. WILLIAM KENT D. D.S. 222 King St. E,., Suite 106 Professional BIdg. Bowmanville Office Hours: Open 8:30a.m.to5:oop.m. WEEKDAYS DR. W. M. RUDELL, D.D.S. 75 King St. E., Bowmanville Office Hours: Mon., Tues., and Thurs., 19'tiî 5 Wednesday -9 'tii 2 Friday - 9 'tii 4 Not open Saturday or Sunda y Off ice Phone 623-5790 PATRICK G. DEEGAN, D.T. Denture Therapy Cinic 33 King St. E-. Bowmanville Office Hours: Mon., Tues., Thurs., Fri. 8:30 'tii 5:00 Wednesday 8:30 'tiI 12:00 Saturdlay - By appointmnent oniy. Phone 623-4473 The Sacrament of the Lord's Supper will be observed on Sunday June 20, also new Eiders will be inducted. Opening of S.S. worship period was in charge of Joyce Virtue and Reva Kinsm;an. Special "red letter days" for the S.S. will be detailed later e.g. Attendance Award Sun. and S.S. picnic. We were deeply saddened to learn of the death of Doris Stainton in Barrie Home for handicapped girls. We extend our sincerest sympathy to her parents, grandmother, two sisters and brother and families and other close rel- atives. Mrs. Leslie Graham is receiving professional cal-e in B'ville Hospital so we wish ber a speedy return to better health. We have pride again in the accomplishments of another native son Dale W. Griffin wbo has completed his training and has acquired his pilots licence for Helicopters and can now "take to the air" for most of the time. Congrat- ulations and best of good luck, Dale. Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Turner, Oshawa, had Sun. supper witb Mr. and Mrs. F. Dorland. Mr. Clare Ashton, Prescott spent the weekend witb his parents Mr. and Mrs. H. Ashton. Mrs. C. E. Horn, Oshawa, spent the weekend with her family Mr. and Mrs. E. Trewin. Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Schell, South River were weekend guests with Mr. and Mrs. E. McNair. Mr. and Mrs. E. R. Taylor were Friday supper guests of Mrs. Cortenay Graham at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Gerald Kelly, Blackstock. Mr. and Mr's. David Presson and Amy, Osbawa were visitors witb Mr. and Mrs. Gary Groenveld., Mr. and Mrs. James Piggott, Mrs. dake Gerryts and sons, Bowmanville were Saturday evening visitors witb Mr. and Mrs. Wayne Piggott. Mr. and Mrs. Fred Billett, Scarboro were Sat. callers at Mr. and Mrs. Roy McGills. Mrs. Rose Griffin and Mrs. Jean Scott, Oshawa were Sun. callers at Mrs. R. Griffin's. Mr. and Mrs. Bruce Dowen and family Oshawa, Mrs. Stan Kinsman, Courtice, Mr. and Mrs. Jim Acorn and Allen, Port Hope were Sunday even- ing dinner guests of Mr. and Mrs. Jim Kinsman. Mr. and Mrs. E. Wright, Miss Betty Wright, attended the Hampton S.S. Anniversary Service on Sun and were guests with Mr. and Mrs. M. Axford and family and celebrated Brooke Clemens and bis grandmotber Wright's birthdays. Congratulations. Mr. and Mrs. C. Avery attended the Avery Schnaider FLAVORED Tang Oag Is POLY G 0F 'f Crystals2. 7 OZ. PKGS. wedçling in Oshawa on Satur- day, Mr. and Mrs. Ken Lamb, J3aysville were 'Sunday visîtors witb Mr. and Mrs. Lorne Lamb. Mr. Geo. Petbick, Pickering was a recent visitor of Mr. and Mrs. S. Petbick. Mr. Michael Hoimes, St. Catherines visited witb bis grandmother Mrs. Gertie Lyons. ,Mr. and Mrs. F.1 W. Werry attended the Serafini Werry wedding last Saturday at Sudbury, and continued on a motor trip to Sault St. Marie down through Michigan on their way home. Mr. and Mrs. Clarke Piggott and family, OJshawa were Sun. afternoon visitors at Wayne Piggotts. The Enniskillen U.C.W. will visit Parkwood House June l6th 'at 2 p.m. anyone wishing a ride contact the nortb group leaders or be at the Cburch at 1: 30 p. m. Mr. and Mrs. Clarence Stainton held "Open House" for their parents Mr. and Mrs. Dave Bothwell of Bow- manville celebrating their 4th Wedding Anniversary. Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Bothwell. "Enniskillen Youth group" - The regular study meeting for dune for the Y.G. Guys and Dolîs was beld in the S. S. room in dune lst. Following the opening worship most of the meeting time was used for Sewage Problems Facing Proposed Orono Building A doctor from the Durham Region Heaith Unit said recently that a sewage holding tank proposed for an Orono building projeet does not conform to beaitb unit policy. In a -meeting Wednesday, dune 2, Dr. Watt said it was poiicy flot to apprOve sewage holding tanks such as the one proposed by Horst Hoenscb, a prospective purchaser for the Reid's Hardware property in Orono. Dr. Watt -said the poiicy applies especially to ne projects. He said it was the beaitb unit's stand that holding tanks for two stores wouid be allowed on the Reid Hardware property, but Mr. Hoenscb is proposing two stores plus two upstairs apartments. According to Mr. Hoensch, it wouid not be feasibie to build just two stores on the burned out site. He said be would back out of the project pertinent business. An evalu- ation was made: of the progress during the first 5 months. Summer plans were organized. immediately if he were not allowed to build both apart- ments and stores. Dr. Watt said the policy on holding tanks was part of provincial law and he was bending that law to let even two stores use a holding tank system. According to Dr. Watt, the rules cannot continue to be bent or the result couid be another Blackstock. The bealth unit doctor did make a suggestion. He said a new aquarobic technique bas recently been approved for sewage disposai. He recom- mended that Mr. Hoenscb approach a company involved in the aquarobic system. If he were interested, a plan could be drawn up and submitted to the bealtb unit. Dr. Watt said he didn't want to bold up Mr. Hoenscb's building. He said a decision on an aquarobic system could be given witbin 48 bours of receiving the plans. Mr. Hoensch agreed to investigate the new system. The meeting in Orono was called by Newcastle Mayor Garnet Rickard. As well as the i mayor, tbe doctor and Mr. Hoenscb, the town's bylaw enforcement officer was also on band. Twenty Orono resi- dents were present. H-ow does it keel to be out on the street? Find out. Take a walk. PORCPaa c4omHARVEY' UOPARTNERt ORONO 983-5206 ESSO HOME HEAT SERVICE IGA Fancy 1F1 >l Apple Sauce TozN"'-! ASSORTED) FLAVORS Pal 1-Z Dog Food TIN 1 100% VEGETABLE 011 1-L Moîiarch Soft Margarine TUB FANCY 48-FI. Dole Pineapple Juice ' I' IGA Choîce Peas CINDY (PINK OR LEMON) Liquid Aal Detergen BTL 641: 491: 10- FL Uzxx, 4TINS FOR88e~ REGULAR OR MINI Crest Toothpaste TUBEI FROZEN (BANANA. COCONUT, CHOCOLAITE. OR .EMON FIAVOR) RFRIEArmh ousHTErmies SWEET MILK Pillsbury Biscuits 8-z ibby's Aipliagetti TIN L 47e: 3A Coffee Creamer 'Ji-ORz 69<: NADA No. 1 GRADE IPASTEURIZEGI isoz ,iIIy Bee Liquid Honey A, 89, unny Morn Tea Bags OF 79 aisin Bread 160Z 491: I4LINER FROZEN 1410 OZ. Mli Li CAP Bi 'GA Ri0 vPRODUCE 0F US.A.CANADA NO. 1 GRADE PICEIS EFFECIVIE VYLU. Co no heC b~FORÇ THRU SAT., JUNE 1-9 WE RESERVE THE RIGHI TO LIMIT (IUANTITIES, IRODUCE 0F USA__SZ PRODUCE 0F USA, SUNKIST À______________ F 99,: 591: Honey Dew Melons Z lo's FOR i Valencia Orang13esiB-9 PRODUCE 0F REPUBLIC 0F SOUTH AFRICA,ONROGRW CANADA FANCY GRADEONAI RW Granny Smith AppIesLB39e Leaf Lettuce 2 FOR 391 77 King Street East Bowmanville I MONEY ON QUALITY IIN TOMATO SAUCE)