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16 The Canadian Statesman, Bowmanville,.July 21, 1976 Coming Up Dry by John Squirrelly There is nothing in the world quite sa intimidating as a blank sheet of paper rolled F into a typewriter, eecially when it bas been there for over two heurs. Its unsullied white- ness is a rebuke to anyone who has the audacity toe alle hîmself a writer and' who is supposed to be able to knock out a dazzling story1 in a matter of an hour or so. And as 1 ponder what my next topic will be, 1 think of some of the great stories that have been written by men who worked to dead-lines and the fine articles they produced out of sheer necessity. Pieces like Gordon Sinclair's tribute ta the Amer- ican Red Cross a few years ago when he discovered it was going broke. t took hlm fifteen minutes and, the re- sponse was nearly over- whelming. t was reprinted in dozens of U.S. newspapers and recorded and played on a hundred radio stations. Who can forget Horace Greely's admonition, "Go West, young man! " or Francis Church's splendid editorial, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus". They didn't lounge around waiting for an inspiration to hit them on the head, they got busy and wrote deathl9ss phrases that are stili quoted today. : All that notwithstanding, i'v here I sit. And it's not because I haven't got lots of advice from friends and family. 1 even get it from complete strangers, whether I.want it or net. Just the other day, I was standing in my favourite bar waiting for the Muse to strike N and discussing my predica- ment with some chuins ~wlen a rather burly gentlemen sug- gested that 1 write about garbagemen. "You see, " lne continued, "Yve' been a gar- bagemran for twenty years and 1 can see the pattern of people's lives in what they discard. Can you imagine the5 heart-wrenching pathos 'of a broken doîl or a favourite dish lying smashed in the trash? If you study our history, you'Il find a romanitic tale woven throughoutthe movement. CU' Why, you could consider ufs as B the white knights of health, standing in the :forefront of sanitation and protecting the commrunity from disease, sickness and plague." I told him that maybe it writer'a column of humour and would have to work out a funny story about a garbage bag breaking or the bottom of a can falling out or perhaps somebody failing inito the baler and emierginng froîr thie other end a alitl suare block. it was at that point that he grabbed my lapels. "You megan you'd ridicule a fine and honourable profes- sion? " he muttered between clenched teeth. "Absolutely not," I gurgled, "I wouldn't thCk of it." "That's gooa," hé said, "because I think'the boys in the department might take exception ta something like BITTNER'S TRAY PA( that and then you'd have ta BREAKFASTSE build your own incinerator, wouldn't you?", t was shortly after that BITTNER'S COOKED encounter that someone men- CORNED BE tioned the possibility of a story on unions. "Sayý," I said, "that's got BITTNERSVACUUMi somne prospects. I can see the RING BOLO< uon exe2,cutive meeting and saying, 'The membership's BURNS BONELESS complainîng they haven't had FULLY COOKED A widcat strike for almhost PORK SHOU three weeks. Let's ituake a grievance about the drinking BURNS MAC & CHEESE water being too cold and walk C41CKEN OR BOLOGNA out s:o we canalil have a long COOKED ME weekend(-.' Anybo,dy else got an idea?" Another standee chimed in. SHOPSY S OLD VIENI "How about the b argaining SALAMI CHL sessions with managzement? "I know," anoifher exclaim- ed. "How about one on bartenders? There's lots of possiblities there. You could write about ail the crazy things the're supposed to do."y "Like watering the drinks." "Or spilling them." "Or shortchanging the cus- tomers." I turned to Sam who was working the bar. "ýWhat do you think of that idea?" Sam kept right on polishîng a glass. "How'd you like to be cut. off?" he asked quietly.Q "And maybe I should have aQ little chat with you guys' wives about your bar bis." "Looks like another one down the drain," somebody mumiwbled. "Yeah," I said, "I guess there's no story this week at ail. Get the best for your family and the most for your money., ~'GREEN GI ANT, CANADA FANCY WHOLE KERNEL IBLETS CORN 12 FL.OZ. TIN T FROM CANADA GRADE 'A' BEEF 30NELESS FULL OR BOTTOM CUT OR ROASTS 'ZOUN D'ST EAOK S LB. HOLIDAY LUrtNHELON MEAT c 12 OZ. TIN TOP CUT ROUND STEAKS LB. CUT FROM CANADA GRADE A BEEF BONE!N FULL CUT RlUM4P ROAST - 1. LB. hEINZ~ TOA'MATO, KETCHUP c 32 FL. OZ. BTL. SEALTEST HOMOGENIZED PASTEURIZED, PARTýA LLY SKIMMED 3 CT. BAG OR JUG PLUS DEPOSIT ON JUG GRANULATED, WHITE DOMINION FROZEN CANADAÀ FANCY FRENCH FRIEI POTATCES KREAMY SLICED )WHI-TE 24OZ. LOAF1 .~KSPCIL!L8. CAMPFIRE WHITE il OZ. PKG.YRKSOTY PE A! 48 OZ. JAR KITTY TREAT TUNA -PCA! GzTN GLETE TRAC 11 SECA, K 0 MASMLLW OR MOHYSEIAIOTNA&EGG SEIL! cDSENSER SEIL PG F SAUSAGE 159MA5cALOSPEANUT BUTTER 2.19 CAT FOODRARBLDS 18 SPECIAL! 4 OZ- PKG. ALORO FROZEN SEIL 20 OZ. PKG. WITH PECTIN, DOMINION 24 FL. OZ. JAR 1 BEEF FLAVOURED iI k K -- F-c DELUXE SE L APERRY ORDOGOOD SEIL ,2gK,1CURAD PLASTIC SEIL K-CF1I EF88c PEPPERONI PIZZA 1.680 TABRVA 1.251 GAINSBURGER 2 .651 BANDAGES 1.49 4 PAKEDPECAL! LB,6 O. PG.,CASE0F 24x PAKDSEIL! L. BOOTH FROZEN SPECIALI O K REGULAR OR DIET, HIRES ROOT 10OFL.OZ TI1NS 1TOPBEFLAOR PCAL 15OZý TIN SCENTED OR UNSCENTED 350 MI CON T - ~ BEER, ORANGE CRUSH OR SPECIAL' SBE LVU PCA!^ O AEROSOL ANTIPERSPIRANT, INA 1.485 HADDOCK FILLETS 1-04.Q WILSON'S GINGER ALE 39 DOG FOOD 19 BAN BASIC SPECIAL .49 LB 2x 8 OZ. CONT. DIGESTIVE, NICE OR L 15 OZ. BAG TP EFFAVU PCA! 25 5 OZ TIN HONEY SUCKLE OR SEIL 12.1;FL OZ CONT. MONARCH CLUE PEIL àc SHORTOAKE BISCUIT SPEIj LILYOFTHEVALLSPCIAI E CIAL! ILDR 11.98 SO1 MRAIE EKFENS1.03 DOG FOOD ' EVERYNIGHT SHAMPOO m EMEAT & OLIVE, G OZ. PKG. TETLEY Q cr 8u OZ. PKG. 0F 72' ASST'D FLAVOR DEI125O K STUART HOUSE 5 TRL K ORAGEPEOE a ~SOFT DRINK MIX SIL 2 0% C 12 INCH WIDTH50F.RL K, AV ISPEA!12rLOZ--_ 48c1TEA'BAGS 1.091 MONARCH POP /9 FOIL WRAP 5 LAVOuRIWSHSECA 79FCZ T 1 GMMX EL OS K IA1 Z J R PNAPEUT , 48 FL. OZTINSAV NLB M X E L H U E P CI L! GOZ J R PAP E &T . j L T A.B.C POW DERED SPECIAL! 0 Z.PKG. 2O K JB .99VIFINSTANT COFFEE 345DELMONTE DRINK 5 DETERGENT 1SATHVEADSPE 49 11B KGhOZ. PKG 3 x3/4 OZ.PKG. ASST'DCOLOURS 2 ROLL PKG MINT OR REGULAR 50 MI 1TUBE CAMPFIRE WHITE REALEMON LEMONADE SPECIAL' I69 SYMPHN RS TBACON 1.78 MARSHMALLOWS 55 FLAVOUR.CRYSTALS69C H ONYS(9'TOHPTE' 1 LB. PKG. MALING, SLICED 10OFL 0Z. TIN WITH ONION BITS 90OZ. JAR WHITE OR RAINBOW SEIL PKG.OF 250 TODDLER PKG CF 12 c1OR WHOLE -7 FRENCH'S At RITE SEILà% DPOSABLE DIAPERS 79c MUSHROOMS 67 1MUSTARD 4Y~ SERVIETTES 11 PAMPERS 1.67 IDA GROWN ,NGOES PECIAI! I.0 ONTARIO GROWN FRESH ROMAINE c #ç5'~. BUNCH1 R ICH MELLO SALAD DRESSING 32 FL. OZ. JAR QUI KKI, PLASTIC, HEAVY DUTY- GARBAGE BAGS c ASST'D COLOURS, BUDGET 1 PLY BATHROOM TISSUE VALUES EFFECTIVE UNTIL CLOSING TIME TUESDAY, JULY 27y 1976 WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO) LUMT QUANTITIES TO NORMAL FAMILY REQUIREMI EMM a à or',