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Bridal Supplement of The Canadian Statesman, February 22,1978 By Trina J. Astor Traditionally the bride's parents make all of the arrangements for the wedding reception. But more and more as circumstances and de- sires change, a couple arrange for it them- selves. Irregardless, there are some present- day things to beware of. If you hold your recep- tion in a hotel where many weddings are held with experienced staff, fixtures and know-how, you are most likely to be spared a great, many tedious obs. A consul tant wili tal-k with you hpnd h you in choosing, h detail. Make sure the person is fûinely interested in arranging things the way you want it if ical table setting takes practical. Talk about place. Make sure some- the payment schedule, one knows how you want deposits, credit or your cake set up, with C.O.D., which ever the candles provided for establishment prefers either side, and flowers you use. It saves mis- if desired. understandings. Another good point is If you hold your to have a special table reception in a hall with or area where your outside caterers bring- parents and other ing food and linens etc., special people will sit. you will need to make This is a kindness which sure of exactly what is saves embarrassment. to be brought, and who It is always helpful if brings it. A very impor- you have the ushers tant consideration is to assist people in finding have tables, chairs, their places or in linens and decorations general making the ready an hour before guests comfortable, you expectthe first especially the elderly. guest to arrive.. It is With some thought most disconcerting to and carefully followed arrive, find tables bare planning your first meal and unfriendly looking together as man and and then wait around wife will be a happy while a flurry of hyster- memory all your life. Wedding Invitation Dos, Don'ts No procedure in a wedding is more traditional than issuing invitations. Proper etiquette dictates that invitations be printed on fine-quality, white paper and sent out to al relatives, guests and members of the wedding party. Two enve- lopes enclose the invitation and often a smail, self- addressed, stamped envelope containing an R.S.V.P. card is enclosed with the invi- tation.- On formal wedding invi- tations, the parents of the bride request or invite guests to attend the wedding of their daughter to the groorn, at a given time and place. A formai church wedding will usually include an invitation that wilI "request thehonour (sic) of your presence" wh'le a formal wedding held at a home or hotel may "request the pleasure of your com- pany..." Invitations can indicate that a reception follows at a given location or a separate card may be enclosed, announcing the reception. Invitations or wedding announcements can also include the name of the groom's family. Formal wedding invita- tions are usually printed with raised lettering in black on white or ivory stock. Less formal invitations may be printed on pastel paper. Many young couples are altering the tradition of formai invitations by writing their own invitations and having them printed on any type of paper that appeals to them. Less-formal invita- tions are now quite accept- able for informai weddings and couples now ask guests to help them to "share in our happiness" or to "help us celebrate our marriage." One couple asked guests to "bring happiness." invitations to a formal or informal wedding may be handwritten on note paper or even on the caling cards of the bride's parents if the guest list is small. The engaged couple may choose to have a small, informal wedding and have the parents of the bride send out formal announcements after the wedding. Announcements usually are sent to relatives and friends who were not invited or unable to attend the wedding. The announce- ments simply state that the bride's parents announce the marriage of their daughter to the groom at the location and date of the wedding. Another card may be enclosed with the announce- ments, saying that the newly married couple are "at home" and giving the address. Invitations and/ or an- nouncements can be sent out to announce first or subse- quent marriages, as well. What therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder. -Matthew 19:6 Engagement Etiquette Getting engaged is an exciting time in any girl's life and the happy event imme- diately brings up certain questions for the newly- affianced couple. Who should be told first about the engagement? How do you notify friends and relatives? Your immediate families should be told first, of course. After the prospective groom has received his family's blessing, so to speak, he is expected to call on the girl's father, according to proper etiquette. In turn, his family is expected to call on the bride- to-be's family, if distance permits. Otherwise, a note by the young man's mother can accomplish this custom's objective: welcoming the prospective bride into the family. Close relatives and friends should be informed of the engagement before news- papers are notified and before the engagement party is held, custom dictates. The engagement party, while not necessary, is a joyful way to celebrate the young couple's affiancing, and it is traditionally given by the bride's family. H owever, the groom's family can host the party if the bride's family is residing at a great distance. Sometimes the groom-to- be is separated by distance from the bride-to-be. If so, the engagement party must be delayed until both are able to be present at the celebration, etiquette insists. Announcements should be sent to local newspapers and if the young man's home town is elsewhere, his local newspapers should also be notified. If you wish to send a photograph with the announcement, include an 8x10" glossy with infor- mation for a caption, in addition to the information for the story. Wedding Customs In some countries a man's father-in-law gets presents on his daughter's wedding day. Trobriand Island bridegrooms present their new fathers-in-law with coconuts and canoes in exchange for puddings and hand-woven mats and napkins from the family of the bride. But if it seems to you that the Trobriand fiance comes out on the short end of the wifely trade, pity the poor Fiji Islander: during a certain season, he must give his father - and anyone else, for that matter - anything requested! j 't' r "Meet1, Me at the «Mý,ARINA"< "Old Salty" at the Port Darlington Marina Hotel loves to play Cupid. He wants to see couples méet, fali in love, and get married here. That's right! We have all the facilities for engagement parties, bridal showers, rehearsal dinners, receptions, and even weddings. Yes! "Old Salty" can even perform the wedding ceremony!!! He loves parties from 2 to 182 and we can accommodate any of your overnight guests ... so when making your wedding plans remember our very own Cupid, "Old Salty" and "Meet him at the Marina". Marina - 623-3501 Hotel - 623-4925, Bowmanville Lake Rd. South, off Liberty St., South of 401 Hwy.