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t i Section Two The Canadian Statesman. Bowmanville, August 19, 1987 Forthcoming Marriage Ralph and June Davey of Maple Grove are happy to announce the forthcoming marriage of their daughter, Susan Diane to Darin Robert, son of Robert and Evelyn Carswell of Bowmanville, The wedding to be at Tyrone United Church, Saturday, September 19,1987 at 4:00 p.m. Lawn Bowling News By Ab Mavin Whitby journeyed to Bowmanville Bowmanville on Tuesday evening, evening, July 28th, to take part in the Annual Inter Club Rivalry, bringing 26 players and four visitors. Bowmanville Bowmanville had 16 players and four onlookers. In view of this.we played integrated teams with the following results; results; after two eight-end games. 1st V. Igglesden and Bradley (Whitby), and Audrey Audrey Turner (Bowmanville); 2nd Q. Weeks, L. Turley and H. Villeneuve (Whitby); 3rd OVWollstein (Bowmanville) and S. Pope, E. Wentzel (Whitby); 4th Ivan Ball (Bowmanville) and L. Puc- kram, B. Bryant (Whitby). , Following the games all enjoyed a tasty lunch of sandwiches, pickles, squares etc. and a cup of tea, this being served by Ann Park and Margaret Smith. The lunch was supplied by the ladies of the club who donated this and their well known brand of hospitality. On Saturday, August 1st; two teams went to Port Hope to take part in the Jock Bennett Memorial Trophy Tournament. The eventual winner was A. Knibb of Whitby with a score of 59 "; 2nd H. Taylor, Cobourg, 37 -, 3rd N. Town, Port Hope 50 2 ; 4th R. Kirkconnell, Etobicoke, 49 '; 5th 0. Wollstein, Bowmanville, Bowmanville, 38 We understand that Ross Hall and Vi Coole were also there from - Bowmanville but unfortunately have no 1 record of their performance. performance. This coming Wed., Aug. 12 we are having the Les Langs Tournament which consists of three 14 end games played by men's pairs. We expect to have five teams from Bowmanville, among which will be a team of O. Wollstein and Les Langs. I have no intention of saying HAMILTONS INSURANCE SERVICE S/SBÊ Main St., Orono MMMBS 983-5115 SERVING YOUR INSURANCE NEEDS FOR 35 YEARS Susan Sawyer 983-5767 Nelda Dawson ' 623-4835 DURHAM NOTICE CLOSURE OF DARLINGTON LANDFILL SITE The Darlington Landfill Site August 15,1987. be permanently closed on For a three month trial period, bins will be provided on the grounds of the former Darlington Landfill Site for your convenience for the disposal of HOUSEHOLD GARBAGE ONLY. All other refuse is to be ta^en to the Metro Toronto (Brock West) Landfill Site in Pickering. See map below for directions. HOURS OF OPERATION Monday to Friday (Incl.) Saturday Metro Toronto 7:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. 7:00 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. (Brock West) Landfill Site d METRO TORONTO * »A g (BROCK WEST) / \ 8 TAUNTON RD. RCG.RD.4 3RD.CONCESSION RD. LANDFILL SITE s FLASHING LI0HT PICKERING HWY.2 HWY.40I W.A. Twelvetrees, P. Eng. Commissioner of Works. Teenagers & Divorce Discussed by Lloyd Scott _ ... e a it ■ • ■ . 1 • 1 • 1 1 a 1 ■ r-m L. . . M M m fi L ft ZN % I f C A TVS û VAl 1 TT CT HPOTl Y I In divorcing families, I often often see teenagers struggling to adapt to a whole new family structure. They're in the middle of that hard period period of freeing themselves from their parents. Divorce not only puts them behind schedule, so to speak, it also throws into confusion their typical pattern of development development Take a look at adolescent experience in the intact family. family. Over several years, they gradually separate from their parents in a forward and backward movement. Following a great surge toward toward maturity, they may lapse into pretty childish behaviour. behaviour. After a return to the nest return need to keep returning the nest declines as their confidence strengthens, until until they've reached the necessary necessary emotional maturity to risk being on their own. That's the way it's supposed to be. Parents go through a similar similar dance. They're gratified one minute and bewildered the next during this stage in their children's lives. They naturally encourage their kids in their preparations for leaving home. The next minute they may demonstrate demonstrate in lots of ways (sometimes belittling ways) that they think their chilren aren't competent enough to strike out on their own. They hang on as hard as they push. This is probably the way it's supposed to be too. I find that teenagers also fluctuate wildly in tneir perceptions perceptions of their parents. They see them as all- powerful, idealized, maybe frightening people. This is the child's view. In the next frame, they see them as impotent, impotent, fallen idols. This is the typical adolescent's view. Teens can shift quick ly from needing advice and help, to cocky dismissal of anything parents might say or do. These flucuations are a kind of alternating current that illuminates the tortuous path of normal adolescent development. As teenagers seesaw back and forth between the safety safety of the family home base and the exciting but risky world of their comtempo- raries, one of their big needs is for a stable home and family life. By returning to that base, they can replenish depleted emotional supplies. They can restore battered self-esteem, perhaps bv temporarily becoming children children again. The breakdown of family structure at this point can profoundly upset ddoles- cent development. Separating Separating parents are fully occupied occupied with the turmoil in their lives and are less available available to their children. Like their children, they may also be without a safe haven, haven, a stable centre in their lives. Teens are under terrific terrific pressure at this time to grow up fast. Furthermore, during the process of separation, some teenagers are shocked to discover that their parents are sexual people. In my experience, experience, adolescents tend to think of their parents as old and sexless. Besides, in most intact families, sexuality sexuality is relatively invisible anyway. anyway. This makes it natural for children to grow up thinking that their parents don't have sexual needs or desires. However, parents who are in the throes of breaking up may be dating new partners, hotly pursuing pursuing new sexual relationships. relationships. They may also be busy accusing each other of infidelity. For the kids, their parents r sexuality is suddenly suddenly everywhere in evidence. At a time when their own sexuality is burgeoning and their confusion about it is hard for them to talk about, teenagers may see their parents parents as just other hot, confused confused teenagers. Some teens' parents have lovers the kids' ages. Some relationships cross generational generational lines, or threaten to. For example, the mother of an adolescent girl has a 27 year-old boyfriend. The girl becomes upset when ner own boyfriend, upon hearing hearing about her mother's lover says teasingly, "Hey, maybe I snould date your mom. During divorce, when structured family life and discipline weaken, adolescents adolescents may not have the inner inner controls necessary to steer a safe course. Many flounder and grope for direction. direction. Surrounded by temptations of the adolescent adolescent world, they can quickly find themselves in trouble. On the other hand, I've known some young people who rise to the challenge of family breakdown with amazing strength. As their parents face divorce, teenagers teenagers temporarily take on the parenting role, advising and supporting the adults, while still keeping their own lives in good order. Adolescents are old enough to benefit from group discussions discussions with other teenagers teenagers who are having similar problems at home. However, However, discussions that can best benefit everyone during a divorce are those that take place between parents and their children. Lloyd Scott is a Marriage and Family Counsellor in private practice in the Orono Orono Medical Centre and in Oshawa. He welcomes letters letters from readers. Please feel free to write to him in confidence, c/o The Statesman, Statesman, Box 190, Bowmanville, Bowmanville, Ontario, LlC 3K9. how old they are but Les has been retired for more than 15 years as bank manager while Oscar is not far behind. behind. These two gentlemen won this trophy in 1985 which shows that experience experience can go a long way. Pigeon Racing By Pat Woolner . On Saturday, August 1st, the Bowmanville Invitational Invitational Pigeon Racing Club held its second set of races. The first race station was Huntsville, an air distance of 161 miles with 164 pi-, geons entered from 11 lofts. 1st, 2nd and 12th place went to Hans Verkruisen with a speed of 35 miles per hour; 3rd place Ray Nak- licki; 4th, 5th and 6th place, Ron March; 7th, 8th and 9th place, N. and J. Brown; 10th, 11th and 14th place, K. and P. Woolner and family; and 13th and 15th place Ted Brown. The second race station was North Bay, an air distance distance of 272 miles with 177 pigeons entered from 11 lofts. 1st, 5th and 16th place went to Hans Verkruisen with a speed of 38 miles per hour; 2nd, 3rd and 12th place, N. and J. Brown; 4th place, Ray Naklicki; 7th place, 10th and 13th place, Dave Woolner and sons; 8th and 15th place, Ted Brown; 9th and 11th place, Ron March and 14th place J. and P. Skinner. To Vote in the Ontario Provincial Election your name must be on the NEW LIST of VOTERS or on a CERTIFICATE to VOTE If \on haw not received this form 301 com name is not on the \I W MSI. Don't Wait! -- Phone Now! It's tip to von to obtain a C1.R1 II IC XII to VOIE. Eligible Rural Voters may still be Vouched for, but if you wish to obtain your Certificate to Vote -- Phone Now! - It's up to you to obtain a Certificate to Vote. If you live in BOWMANVILLE CALL: 985-9725 between 10 a.m. - 8 p.m. Monday to Saturday inclusive. O Elections Ontario Who is eligible to Vote? Those persons who on Election Day • Are 18 years of age. • Are Canadian Citizens. • Have resided in Ontario for the preceding 6 months. Are eligible to vote if their name is on the NEW LIST of VOTERS for the Electoral District in which they reside, or on a CERTIFICATE to VOTE as issued by their Returning Officer. EG/34R KEEPING YOU INFORMED Published by the Office of the Chief Election Officer of Ontario Warren R. Bailie, CHIEF ELECTION OFFICER