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i : I Top Students Selected at M.J. Hobbs Public School Section Two The Canadian Statesman, Bowmanville, December 12,1990 7 Handling It by Lloyd Scott Staff at M.J. Hobbs Senior Public School selected their students of the month for November. Those students students are pictured here. In the front, from the left, are: Bruno Stender, David Watt, Genny Ordog, Jennifer Jennifer MacKay, Erin Kelsey, Anthea Williams and Kelly Werry. In the middle, from the left, are: Brad Brockman, Brockman, Paul Punit, Amer Hussain, Danielle Stéfanis, Jacquie Mason, Amy Crawford, Leah Hughes, Brook Rowden and Ken Cross. In the back are: Dwayne Ar- nott, Colin Manuel, Tera Piney and Ken Walker. Open Letter to Councillor Larry Hannah Open Letter to Councillor Larry Hannah: Subject: The Mad Hatter's Tea Party. Surely, everyone, remembers remembers that favourite chapter from Alice in Wonderland, wherein all characters were seated at a very long table; and as I remember the story, story, once you had messed up your own place setting, you simply moved to a clean spot. This is only a fairy tale, but the remarkable thing is that we still behave as if we have the unlimited ability to move to a clean RED BARN LEATHER FASHIONS FENELON FALLS Quality Leather Apparel and Accessories for Ladies and Men HUGE SELECTION - FAMILY SPECIALS Come and Compare - Open All Year Including Sundays - We also carry a wide selection of ANTIQUES, COLLECTIBLES and MORE 12 FRANCIS ST. W., FENELON FALLS (705) 887-1700 PRE-HOLIDAY SALE!! HALF $1QQ00 PRICE from I vO "Travel a little! Save a lot!" place. The Fairy Tale lives on!! Subsequent to Kristin MacCrea's efforts at garbage weighing and reduction in the Kendal area, we have, for the past two weeks, been involved in a similar program program in the Village of Oro- no. Our results nave been quite rewarding. Week #1 saw 62 people participating with the result of 4 lb/ person/week. The second week, ending December 8, we showed 150 people actively actively involved in weighing their garbage and reduced total weight of 3.25 lb/ person. The point of this exercise exercise is that when one puts conscious effort into a project, project, one can become very creative in the re-use of materials, materials, and placing fewer bags at curbside becomes a matter of civic consciousness and pride. Concern about the plastic plastic wrapping around the Toronto Toronto Star prompted one of our number to phone the Star. She was told by the Star manager that they would welcome the opportunity opportunity to recycle, and for each person to contact their individual individual carrier to make arrangements arrangements for same. On a humorous note, another phoner tells me that she is wrapping her present this rear in - you guessed it, the In Orono, we're really involved involved in. trying to address options and not just leaving the problem to the Region. We have even devised a Clean Green Earth Emblem for anyone wishing to place in their front window, to show their interest in solutions. solutions. I still don't know what to do with plastics stored in our garage, but I'm working on it. I understand that Toronto Toronto plastics are trucked to Chicago and Philadelphia where they are recycled by a combined effort between Du- int and a company called 'aste Management Inc. Is there any chance of our tapping tapping into these people, Larry? Larry? Thanks for your time. Pat Irwin Lycett 983-9605 "Mental Hospitals are becoming becoming the jails of middle- class kids. It's the biggest child-welfare scandal of the last 50 years." The comment is from a Michigan-based social work researcher, quoted in a recent recent Newsweek article about the increasing number of teenagers being locked up in private mental hospitals and other detention centres. This is about scapegoating scapegoating in families, a process largely out of conscious awareness, a process as common common as it is ancient. Teenagers Teenagers (and wives and mothers, mothers, of course) have always been families' traditional scapegoats. Some adolescents are indeed indeed seriously troubled, for example by alcohol and drug problems. However, the majority majority of them who are' seen as disturbed are in more-or- less normal conflict with their parents over a wide range of differences, from their music to their boyfriends boyfriends and girlfriends. It's easy enough for exhausted, exhausted, confused and frustrated frustrated parents to ' think of their disruptive teens as "disturbed" and needing treatment. Until it's gradually gradually brought to their attention, attention, they're unaware that what's wrong isn't some misbehavior misbehavior emanating from inside inside the individual teenager. What's wrong in many cases is that parents have conveniently blamed the teenager for problems in the family itself - the way it's organized, the way its members members communicate, the way they work out their daily interactions. interactions. "Fixing^ hard-to-manage teenage behavior by sending teenagers "away"- to juvenile juvenile detention centres, to mental hospitals or to counsellors counsellors - too often simply means bringing them into line with parents' wishes, needs and expectations. In the Ola Testament ritual ritual of atonement, a goat was symbolically burdened with the sins of the Hebrew people, people, then either sent into the wilderness or thrown over a precipice, depending on which source you consult. Chosen to placate Azazel, a wilderness demon and perhaps perhaps the spirit of evil, the goat made possible the annual annual forgiveness of the nation's nation's sins. By extension, a scapegoat has come to mean any group or individual that innocently carries the . /blame,;-. the "sins"of others. Scapegoating Scapegoating has always been common common in families, in varying degrees of severity. Children who are hyperactive, hyperactive, have persistent sleep problems, are underachievers, underachievers, wet their beds repeatedly, repeatedly, refuse to go to school, have violent temper tantrums, tantrums, stutter, refuse to eat, etc. - many such kids may very well be suffering from the stresses of their parents' troubled marriages. Just as lightning rods pick up a charge of electricity electricity in the air and divert it from a building, so do children children pick up conflict and tension (whether covert or overt) in their parents' relationship relationship and act out their responses, responses, often in alarming ways. Scapegoating is illustrated illustrated also by parents attempting attempting to resolve or minimize a conflict between themselves by seeking and/or exaggerating exaggerating problems in a child. By this on-going process, par ents (essentially unaware of what they're doing) are able to conceal their own conflicts and achieve some marital stability in their shared "concern" for the behavioral problems of the child whom they see as "bad." One form of ultimate denial denial of marital and/or other family problems is reached when parents issue the ultimatum ultimatum to a teenage son or daughter, "This is our home and we make the rules. Obey them or get out." Some parent-support 9 s, formed around their en's perceived behavior behavior problems, run the risk of becoming clubs to endorse. the scapegoating of their kids, especially teenagers. To avoid that, teenagers could be invited to meetings to participate in parent- child dialog, instead of parents parents alone trying to understand understand their teens"behavior. Many such scapegoated children don't benefit much if at all, from traditional in dividual therapy. It doesn't work for them, in part because because family pressure soon after therapy restores them to their accustomed scapegoat scapegoat role and reinstitutes their disturbing behavior. Intervention at the family family level offers the best chance of changing the fundamentally fundamentally troubled interactions interactions among family members. members. These interactions are the primary cause and explanation explanation of the teenager's "misbehavior." This is the job of family therapy, when properly understood understood as therapy of the family-as-a-whole. It's a nofault nofault process. Lloyd Scott is a marriage and family counsellor in private private practice in Oshawa and in the Orono Medical Centre. Centre. He welcomes letters from readers. Write him in confidence at this newspaper, newspaper, The Canadian Statesman, Statesman, P.O. Box 190, Bowmanville, Bowmanville, Ont. LIC 3K9. Durham Agri-News by Barbara Weese, Rural Organization Specialist Congratulations are in order order for Cindy Ashton and Pat Dyck of the Village People People Junior Women's Institute. Institute. Cindy Aston, R.R.#1, Hampton, has been elected Provincial President and Pat Dyck, Hampton, has been elected first Vice- President. The Junior Women's institute institute is a social and educational educational organization open to young women over 14 years of age. It's purposes are: to assist and encourage women to become more knowledgeable knowledgeable and responsible citizens through the development of good family life skills, the development of leadership skills, the identification and resolution of community needs. PfiM TILE 20 King St. W. 623-3929 Bowmanville We wish you a Merry Christmas and fl Happy New Year 1C% CQ% ! 1VOFF VWOFF ! Reg. Price fill In-stock [ for Ceramic Tile Ceramic Tile ! Installation Lots to choose from ! Offer expires Jan. 31,1991 Offer expires Jan. 31,1991 ■ Have We Got a Deal for You... Look behind, our Statesman Curtains to find Great Christmas Surprises Curtain One I One for a Friend Buy a 2 Year Subscription to Œ&t Canadian Statesman!!! for $35 and. we'll give you a One Year Subscription for a Non-Subscribing Friend for FREE! 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