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1 We Asked and You Said 2 Page from the Past 3 Whaf s Happening 4 TION TWO WEDNESDAY, APRIL 21,1993 I *1 by Lorraine Manfredo A seven-line classified ad in The Canadian Statesman has brought a Bowmanvillc woman and her birth mother together after 40 years. When Donna Marie Goodwin, 42, of Liberty Street, first spotted the ad in the Personals last November, November, she said she nearly fell off her chair. She knew instantly that .the Yellowknife Yellowknife resident seeking her daughter in the Bowmanvillc area was her mother.. It was the unusual spelling of her birth name, "Sheryle Marie" that caught her eye. Reading on, she recognized her birthdate, December 30 1950, and hospital where she was born, The Grace Hospital in Toronto. Toronto. "I knew it was me," she said. "Ï was happy and scared at the same time." Donna sent off a letter to the Yellowknife Yellowknife address right away. Within weeks, her birth mother, Ann Johnson, telephoned in reply. Ann Johnson made the "sensible" choice in 1952 and gave her daughter daughter up. "My daughter was given a chance at a life I couldn't give her. That made me content. I knew she'd be with two people who really wanted wanted her." And when she spotted an adop tion notice in the local paper shortly afterwards, she had a good idea where her daughter ended up. "I always had an idea I would contact her," she said. "But I didn't want to do it when she was too young. I didn't want to disrupt her life. "I had to be careful. There are. VC-- by Lorraine Manfredo . The Grandview Rehabilitation & Treatment Centre of Durham Region Region has taken on a new, child- friendly look. The facility has adopted a brand new logo, opened a new Family Resource Resource Centre and unveiled a spectacular spectacular mural featuring cartoon characters. characters. The bright new look meets a goal set last year to make the facility more appealing to the children it serves and to perk up the "hospital" • atmosphere. ; ' Staff at Grandview are inviting ; - the public to tour the building and meet the staff at an Open House on April 28th from noon until 7:00 p.m. The Grandview Centre is located located at 600 Townline Rd., just west of the Town of Newcastle boundary. "We really do need to make an impact on our community because there are probably a lot of children out there who can benefit from our services," said executive director, Linda Watson. Grandview provides special in- _ struction for children and adolescents adolescents up to age 21 who have physical physical and/or communication impairments. There are more than 1,100 children currently receiving services from Grandview. The centre centre serves Durham Region and runs outreach programs in Uxbridge, Port Perry and Ajax. Students are provided with an educational educational assessment and an individualized individualized education program. Programs incorporate special education education and life skills training to promote physical independence, use of computer aids and adaptive attachments, attachments, and Red Cross Swim program. A number of parent training programs programs arc in place to help reinforce their children's lessons at home. Last Thursday, the finishing touches were being applied to the huge painting that covers hallway walls from floor to ceiling. The artwork artwork features familiar barnyard animals animals and exotic jungle creatures playing with children of all shapes and sizes. J Funding for the mural was provided provided by donations from the general public and area service clubs. Grandview receives the bulk of its funding from the Ministry of Health. Two Toronto artists, Leisa Temple Temple and Sean O'Neail, created the design. The artists customized portions of the mural to appeal specifically to the children at Grandview. There are plenty of details at toddler-level. Drawings include children in wheelchairs wheelchairs and a special skateboard-style device Grandview students use to strengthen their arms and upper bodies. bodies. Also painted on the wall is a Donor Donor Recognition Tree with the names of two founding groups, The Oshawa and District Cerebral Palsy Parent Council and The Simcoc Hall Women's League, written on the trunk. The. Family Resource Centre is set up near the main foyer. Materials about special needs children are targeted targeted to siblings, grandparents and parents. Items may be borrowed for a two-week period at no charge. "We feel the family needs as much support as the child in many cases," says Watson. The new logo shows a wide range of ages of children and gives a feeling of support and inclusion. The design is by Oshawa artist Ron Lambert who also designed the New Brunswick covered bridge on one of die special edition Canada-125 quarters. quarters. Everyone is invited to the Open House at Grandview Rehabilitation and Treatment Centre, Wednesday April 28th, from 12 noon - 7:00 p.m. Phone 728-1673 for more information. information. "I received her call at midnight," Donna recalls. "Don't ask me what we talked about because I don't know. But, we talked for two hours." •She says there was no resentment, resentment, no comparisons, and surprisingly surprisingly little distance despite the miles and the unfamiliarity. There was just an eagerness to learn more about each other. Cross-county phone calls, birthday birthday cards, and long letters with photos photos enclosed kept the pair in each other's thoughts all through the winter. winter. Up in Yellowknife, Johnson was fascinated with photos of her daughter. daughter. "Every time I looked, there was a different person I could see in her face," she said in a phone interview. She was reminded by turns of grandmothers, aunts, sisters and cousins just by gazing at her grown daughter's face. Ann Johnson and Donna Marie Goodwin finally met on March 22 at the Toronto airport. Donna was accompanied by her husband and Ann was with her nephew. "There wasn't a lot of tension be- • cause there were a lot of people around," said Donna. She has known since age seven that she was adopted. She has always always been curious about her background, background, but she has never launched a concerted search of her own out of loyalty to her adoptive parents, who have now passed away. "I knew it was me. I was happy and scared at the same time. " The lack of a complete personal history troubled her most around the time she started having children of her own. She regretted the lack of a medical history. "I used to describe myself as a giant jigsaw puzzle and I never had all the pieces. There was always' some missing," she said. Back in 1950, it was almost un- v P°™ a Goodwin holds a photo of her birth mother from heard of for a young woman to raise Yellowknife, Northwest Territories. The two were re-united after a child single-handedly. Society D 01 ™ saw her mother's classified ad in the Statesman. Goodwin of- asThe child d ° n ^ molhcr as wel1 ^"t rela'^ ^ " Personals " knowin g the ads are often used to con- some who might have used it as a crutch or they could end'up hating you or their adoptive parents." Donna feels that adopted children children seeking their natural parents should proceed with similar consideration consideration for others involved. That includes includes their own families as well as the families of their birth parents. Some women never tell their husbands husbands or children that they've had a baby. Neither do many men. A sudden revelation about unknown unknown offspring can cause a severe shock to the whole family, Donna says. The reactions of even the closest closest relatives are impossible to predict predict when faced with that kind of news. Some family members will imagine that existing relationships are threatened. Donna hopes to contact her natural natural father whom she believes lives in the Oshawa area. She will approach the task delicately. 7 always had an idea I would contact her. But, I didn't want to do it when she was too young. I didn't want to disrupt her life." She suggests seeking professional professional counselling on how to approach birth parents. Or a person can enlist a neutral third party to act as a go- between to spare those involved any possible rejection or embarrassment. Both Donna and Ann say that finally finally meeting one another has made them feel more complete. But, as Donna says: "My adoptive adoptive parents were always my parents. parents. It'll always be that way. I'll never change my mind on that." She describes her relationship with Ann: "The birth connection is Ihcre but there's not the years together. together. We're basically just friends now." Ann Johnson has returned to the Northwest Territories after spending time with her daughter and her family family in Bowmanville earlier this spring. Donna plans to visit Ann up north this August. Bartenders Receive Training in Server Intervention hv I.nrminp MnnfruHn whn am nnl hn cnM .Snrvnrc ami r i Nicholas Gnlktt, nge 11, approves of the new characters brightening brightening up the hallways at Grandview Rehabilitation and Treatment Centre. Centre. The nuirai is one of many projects undertaken at the centre over the last year. The public is invited to an Open House at Grandview on Wednesday, April 28th. by Lorraine Manfredo A sympathetic ear and a knack for mixing good martinis is no longer enough. Today's professional barkcep needs to know exactly how to cut off patrons who have had too much to drink. Increasingly, bar owners and their employees arc recognizing the merits of providing a more "responsible" service. It's for their own legal protection as well as for the safety of their customers customers and the community at large. For the past seven years the Addiction Research Foundation has sponsored a program teaching teaching liquor licence holders and servers how to protect themselves themselves against lawsuits. Tony McDermott, is a training director with the Server Intervention Intervention program. j.j c was al t | lc April 12th meeting of the Bowmanvillc Bowmanvillc Lions Club to preview a training session lie will conduct for club members in May. Mr. McDermott has been taking taking his training sessions on the road all through Ontario for five years. The program is beneficial to waiters and waitresses, door staff and other employees of licensed facilities. It is also extremely valuable valuable to management of licensed sports stadiums, hotel lounges, banquet halls, restaurants, and even service clubs, such as the Lions, whose volunteers tend bar at special events. ' Server Intervention Program is not an anti-drinking program," Mr. McDermott stresses. "It doesn't discourage drinking, or having a good lime, or making a fair profit." It has l>ccn develop'd to deal with drinking establishment staff, who arc vulnerable to prosecution prosecution if a drunk customer gets behind behind the wheel of Ills car and winds up killing or maiming an innocent victim. "Damages caused by drunk drivers far exceed the driver's ability to pay," said Mr. McDermott, McDermott, Wlille the average person Is responsible about their alcohol consumption, there are (lie lew who arc not, he said. "These arc die ones we have to become much more aggressive about controlling." Through the S.I.P. sessions, liquor license holders learn how to adapt their dispensing methods • to discourage overdrinking. This may entail "hand-stamping" at college pubs, setting limits on servings at stadiums, or establishing establishing a "no doubles after midnight" midnight" policy at restaurants. Licensees Licensees may also wish to encourage food consumption, or provide safe transportation strategies strategies as well. Servers and licensees „„ taught proven techniques in refusing refusing service to intoxicated patrons. patrons. As Mr. McDermott explains, explains, a person who is cut off may become angry at the waiter or waitress who makes the initial judgement but will usually be civil to the manager who arrives next to repeat the message. McDermott suggests offering alternative alternative non-alcoholic beverages at this point. The Server Intervention Program Program complements the on-going campaign against drinking and driving. It better ensures that licensees licensees and employees will con form to laws regarding the serving serving of alcohol. The Addiction Research Foundation offers two courses. 1. A four-and-a-half hour course for bartenders, servers, wait staff and others in the hospitality hospitality industry. Cost is $30 per participant plus G.S.T. 2. A six-hour course for owners owners and managers. This course includes includes discussion of house policy. policy. Cost is $75 per participant plus G.S.T. For more information about arranging a training session, call the Addiction Research Foundation Foundation at: 1-800-668-8228. un Monday, April 12th, the Bowmanville Lions Club welcomed guest sneaker Tonv McDermott (centra), ol Ntmance, who spoke about the Server Intervention Program run by the Addiction Re- fuirLMi im e n i ' i ' f* ? n . 8 !' lim to run the course in re,sensible alcohol service next month for mem- bus who set ve alcohol during special events held at the Lions Centre.