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14 The Independent, Canadian Statesman Weekender, Bowmanville, Saturday, January 29,1994 Around the Town BLUE BOOK ON LOCAL INFORMATION - Information Oshawa has released its 1993/94 Blue Book directory of information services. The book contains information about more than 1,100 service agencies in the Oshawa area. It is a compilation of data on health services, professional associations, associations, family services, correctional and legal services, media, government, sports and recreation groups, service clubs, youth activities, community halls and much more. The Blue Book is available at Information Oshawa's office or by calling 434-4636. A fee will be charged. BLOOD DONOR CLINIC IN BOWMANVILLE -- Right now, there is a serious shortage of blood. But, you can help next Wednesday, February 2, when the Red Cross Blood Donor Clinic comes to Bowmanville. It will be held at the Lions Centre on Beech Ave., from noon to eight p.m. If you are a new or previous blood donor, please do your utmost to attend this event LOCAL FLIER FEATURED ON NBC PROGRAM -- The making of the half-hour film "C'mon Geese," produced in Scugog Township by Bill Lishman and Murray Cooper in 1988-89 will be featured on NBC's "I Witness Witness Video" Sunday, February 6, at seven p.m. The film traces Lishman's lifelong quest to fly with birds arid includes outstanding close-up footage of Canada geêse in flight. NBC conducted interviews last August with the Lishman family who participated in the making of the film. The film won five international awards, including the prestigious Grand Prize at the 1990 Festival of Film on Flight in Hillaire, France. CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUP -- A support group has been formed in co-operation with Trinity United Church for persons who are providing care for an older, chronically ill or disabled family member or friend. The group meets on the second Monday of each month at 1:30 p.m. in the Church Hall. For further details, call 623-4123. DOWN'S SYNDROME ASSOC MEETS - The Durham Down's Syndrome Association provides information and support for families of individuals with down's Syndrome. The February meeting is Tuesday, February 21st, at 7:30 p.m. in Whitby Baptist Church. The guest speaker will discuss "Wills and Trusts." For details, call 579-0187. CPR COURSES AVAILABLE -- Durham Save-A-Heart is offering numerous courses in Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation throughout February. These include the basic and rescuer CPR program as well as refresher courses for persons previously trained. You can also learn about infant/child CPR and participate in the Heart-Saver course. There will be a four-hour Heart-Saver CPR course in Bowmanville on February 19, from nine a.m. to one p.m. Advance registration is required. For further details, contact Durham Save-A-Heart at (905) 666-0995. LEADERSHIP TRAINING COURSE -- The First Oshawa ITC Club meets regularly for dinner, training and fellowship. On. February 1, at six p.m., there will be a meeting at the Hong Kong House Restaurant. For information, call 725-9179. WEIGHT MANAGEMENT AND BEGINNER FITNESS CLASS - Active Bodies Fitness Centre wants to help you become physically fit and develop healthy eating habits. Class times are Monday evenings from 6:15 p.m. to 7 p.m. and Tuesday afternoons from 1:45 p.m. to 2:30. Registrations take place Monday, January 31, from 6:15 to 7:00 and Tuesday, February 1, from 1:30 to 2:15. Courses will begin February 7 and 8. For details, call Active Bodies, 83 Meams Crt., 623-1299. Handling It .by Lloyd Scott GENEOLOGICAL SOCIETY MEETS - The Whitby-Oshawa branch of the Ontario Genealogical Society will meet on Tuesday, February 1, at the Henry St. High School cafeteria in Whitby. The meeting begins at 7:30 p.m. This will be a "beginners' night" and a night to discuss problems in genealogical research. Meetings are free and are open to the public. For information, call 683-2476 or 723-7460. LADIES'CAR CARE CLINIC - Cowan Pontiac Buick Ltd. will hold a Ladies Car Care Clinic on Tuesday, February 8. It's at the service department of Cowan Pontiac, from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Those in attendance will include an OPP officer, a GM representative, service manager, and technicians. To register, please call 623-3396. VISUAL ARTS CENTRE HOSTS "WINTER'S HARVEST" - The Visual Arts Centre's annual exhibition of crafts will open Sunday, March 6. The tenth annual Winter's Harvest event will include several special events including a video series and Jurors' Workshops. Entry forms are available upon -request, with the deadlines for entries being February 18. The show will run from March 6 to 31. LUPUS ASSOCIATION MEETS -- The Durham Region branch of the Ontario Lupus Association will hold a special meeting on Thursday February 3, from 7:30 p.m. at Faith Place, 44 William St. W. The guest speaker will be Mark Borutskie, a Bowmanville pharmacist. HEART AND STROKE MONTH -- February is Heart and Stroke month. The Heart and Stroke Association needs help from volunteers to canvass local communities. If you can help, please call 6234125 or 623-9177. COURSE IN HELPING SKILLS -- The COPE mental health program of Durham Region and Community Care are offering an eight-week training course in basic helping and communication skills. It is open to anyone interested in helping others cope with changes in their lives. To register or receive more information, contact Janice Kroft, Program Manager, at 6234123. COURTICE CARNIVAL COMMITTEE MEETS - The Courtice Area Community Association will hold a meeting of its carnival committee on Wednesday, February 2nd, at Courtice Secondary School. This will be a planning meeting for this year's carnival. The organizers are looking for new ideas and people to help with the event. The meeting begins at 7:30 p.m. and concludes at 7:30 p.m. For further information, call 436-7706. Wife-assault survivors continue to shock, dismay and anger us again and again with their personal, painful stories stories of being shot at, beaten, stalked and abused in every way by their violent violent husbands. Those who do escape and survive illustrate nothing less than wartime, frontline courage. Many people mistakenly believe that it's possible, even easy, for battered battered wives to leave their husbands. For most, it's virtually impossible to do so, given their husbands' threats, their husbands' financial control and their husbands' close surveillance. When a man follows his wife virtually virtually everywhere, seldom allowing her out of his sight, forcing her to give him a full account of everywhere everywhere she goes, everyone she speaks to, every penny she spends, every move she makes - that woman is a prisoner. Battered women are hostages hostages to their husbands' rages and unstable unstable temperments, to the fears of retaliation retaliation if they do leave, not to mention their fears of financial insecurity. Wife-batterers are deeply insecure, insecure, frightened bullies. They don't prey on men. They wouldn't dare. But with their wives, many are viciously viciously controlling, stopping at nothing nothing to keep their wives in line. Such men have also given a bad name to buying gifts for their wives. In their childish view of life, wife-batterers believe that an apology and some roses roses will make it all better. Therapists and the community at- large have worked conscientiously hard to help wife-batterers- encouraging them to take responsibility responsibility for their behaviour, to learn anger- control, to grow up. There's now widespread consensous that, generally generally speaking, we've failed. Twenty years of therapy groups for violent men have, unfortunately, not brough : about lasting changes. Many graduates graduates of men's groups continue to assault assault and stalk their wives. Dr. Carl Whitaker, now an octoge narian, a psychiatrist of great wis dom, answered the question years ago, "How do you deal with wife Cigarette Smugglers Burned by RCMP in Latest Rash of Arrests On January 5, 1994, members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Milton Customs and Excise Section, executed a search warrant on an industrial industrial unit at 775 The Queensway, Mississauga, Ontario. Four persons were arrested at the scene when it was discovered the warehouse and a truck at the location contained seventeen thousand, six hundred and forty (17,640) cartons of non-duty paid American brand cigarettes. cigarettes. The Excise Duties and taxes evaded on these cigarettes is two hundred seventy-nine thousand, five hundred ninety-seven dollars. The four males arrested at the scene were Jaroslaw Tamasiewicz- Heldut, 29, Bartlomiej Podgorski, 25, Adam Brozda, 36, and Artur Szwaj- kowski, 35, all of Chicago, Illinois. The four were charged in Brampton Provincial Court under section 240 (1) of the Excise Act; possession of improperly packaged and stamped cigarettes. Tamasiewicz-Heldut was released on a twenty thousand dollar cash bail and Podgorski was released on a ten thousand dollar cash bail. Brozda and Szwajkowski were also charged with obstructing a police officer and were held in custody. The men face a maximum fine of eight hundred thirty-eight thousand, seven hundred ninety-two dollars ($838,792.56) each or a maximum of five years in jail each or both. All arc to appear for a preliminary hearing at Brampton Provincial Court at a later date. The retail value of the cigarettes is seven hundred ninety-three thousand, thousand, eight hundred dollars ($793,800). For further information: Cst. David David Hublcy (905) 876-9521. batterers?" "With a brick over the head," he quipped, leaving the rest of us to ponder the metaphor. Wife-batterers can't place themselves themselves in the emotional positions of victims, can't understand their pain and fear. Such a concerted effort to comprehend another person's struggle struggle is the root of empathy, an emotion emotion which wife-abusers are apparently apparently incapable of. One familiar scenario is this: Husband Husband beats wife. Her cries of pain and anguish bring an apology from him, perhaps some tears as well. There follows a reconciliation of sorts. Later, this emotionally stuck couple may resume their peculiar dance of intimate pain, a dance which has numerous variations. Some particularly particularly toxic ones include the strong element of alcohol abuse. A wife- batterer continues to assault his wife - because he can, because a woman can't stop him. Therefore, since she can't stop and he can't stop himself, someone stronger than he is must stop him. These guys need to be stopped by a fist bigger than theirs. An acquaintance acquaintance of mine merely' threatened to thrash his sister's violent husband if he didn't immediately stop his abuse. It worked, and this couple then went on to a relatively peaceful separation. The courts have the only power to prevent, deter and punish this despi cable treatment of women. Some judges and some jurisdictions recognize recognize the crucial need and follow through. For others, a slap on the wrist, usually probation, is as far as they'll go. It's not enough. Assertiveness Assertiveness training for women, even martial-arts martial-arts training, aren't enough of an answer cither. Wife batterers are dangerous to their entire families. Long prison terms, loss of their families, loss of their places in the community (what happened to hard labor?) - these would represent a start. Government support for wife-assault victims and their children, government subsidies for women's shelters are a must. And, please, let's permanently drop the nonsense about, "She asked for it." Nobody should have to live in fear, except perhaps wife-batterers who might then begin to change. And until wife-batterers learn to take responsibility responsibility for their wives' fear of them, wives' trust can never be rebuilt, rebuilt, nor peace restored in their families, families, which remain secret torture chambers for many. Lloyd Scott is a marriage and family counsellor in private practice in Oshawa and in the Orono Medical Centre. He welcomes letters from readers. Write him in confidence at this newspaper, The Canadian Statesman, Statesman, P.O. Box 190, Bowmanville, Ontario, L1C 3K9. BLUE CHIP SEMINAR SERIES Mutual Fundfest The All-Star Investment Conference February 5,1994 - r- -- >-■■■■:-A AW Come join us and learn from some of the top money managers in the Mutual Fund industry on how to invest your money ,, ; ,; in today's investment climate. Topics discussed will include: Investing globally. Are Canadian stocks a good place to be? Do Canadian bonds make sense now? Is the U.S. market overvalued? How does proper asset allocation work? Investing in the Far East. " Investing in emerging markets. . Interest rates and the Canadian dollar. Discussing the new Government's possible tax changes and strategies to take now. Foreign investing both inside and outside your RRSP. Are mutual funds a good idea for foreign investing? Question and Answer period with every presentation. Guest Speaker Line-up Fidelity Investments Mackenzie Financial AGF Investments Templeton International Deloitte & Touche, Canada's largest accounting firm, will be discussing recent tax developments and tax implications of mutual fund investing. February 5,1994, 9:30 am - 2:00 pm Le Gala, 65 Sunray, Whitby R.S.V.P. and Directions phone Kathy at 905-576-1726 • 1 800 661-0243 midland walwyn BLUE CHIP THINKING" Hosted by: The Oshawa Branch, 1 Mary St. N., Oshawa ™ BLUE CHIP THINKING is a trademark of Midland Walwyn Capital Inc.