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10 The Clarington Independent, Bowmanville, Saturday, January 7,1995 Handling It Bribery in modem parenting is out of fashion. Conventional wisdom holds that bribery is a corrupt and unethical way of gaining compliance and will probably transform children into con artists and encourage criminal behavior. behavior. Nevertheless, few of us could have survived to reasonable adulthood adulthood - or survived parenthood for that matter - without bribery in some form. Whether it's a promised "reward", "reward", and "incentive" or an "inducement", "inducement", bribery is helpful if used sparingly sparingly and carefully. Also, it's inevitable. Bribery is a disturbing idea because because it suggests that parents are buy ing kids off with money, new clothes or a toy they've been begging for. If it's a tactic that parents over-use for getting their kids to listen to them, or to comply with their requests, bribery quickly transforms children into extortionists, extortionists, wringing more stuff and things and special privileges out of their parents. Before long, children's extortions lead parents into offering more desperate desperate bribes. Bribery - gone too far - can set in motion a cycle that's hard to break. To gain compliance - or better still, cooperation - some incentives are more effective than bribery. We've all heard children say, from time to time, that they want their par ents' attention more than anything else, especially one-to-one. This seems to be a hard one for most parents parents to pick up on, strung out as many of them arc by overwork and over-crowded schedules. Yet, it's simple and could be the most natural thing - for parent and child to hang out together just for a few minutes a day, spontaneously connecting wherever and whenever they bump into each other, instead of hurrying past. In his book, Parenting by Heart (from which this column is adapted), Ron Taffel suggests "cross-gender" activities. For example, a father who's peripheral in his teenage Social Assistance Caseloads Up Slightly During December The social assistance caseloads for the month of December are up slightly slightly from November, Community and Social Services Minister Tony Silipo announced. General Welfare Assistance Assistance (GMA) increased by 0.9 percent, percent, while Family Benefits (FBA) increased by 0.2 percent. Mr. Silipo said he was pleased with the small amount by which the seasonal fluctuations increased caseloads caseloads for December. The total caseloads increased by 3,526. This refects the seasonal trends typical of social assistance at this time of the year, with fewer jobs to employ people and more people relying on social assistance. The increase increase for this December is, in fact, the lowest December over November increase since 1984. Between 1985 and 1993, December increases ranged from 5,400 to 20,000, compared compared to this December's 3,500 increase. increase. Mr. Silipo noted that, despite this slight increase over November, there are now 26,500 fewer households on social assistance since March, 1994. In the month of December, 1994, the number of households receiving social assistance was 665,519 representing representing 1,319,475 individuals including including heads of households, spouses and children. "While the numbers are up slight- WE'RE USER FRIENDLY... 0 So Use Us! Complete Desktop Publishing and Printing Services Phone: 623-3303 Fax: 623-6161 JAMES PUBLISHING LTD. 62 King Street West, Bowmanville, Ontario ly for the month of December, we continue to be very optimistic that an economic improvement and recovery are well underway in Ontario, said Mr. Silipo. "The overall dramatic decrease decrease experienced from March, 1994 forward indicates that our government's government's plan has been working." For the Family Benefits (FBA) program, serving people who require longer-term assistance, the number of households increased by 0.2 percent, or 526 cases, compared to November. During December, there were a total of 327,019 households representing 721,975 individuals receiving Family Benefits. For the shorter-term GWA, there was a slight increase in the number of people requiring assistance. When compared to ' November 1994, the •number of households rélying on general assistance increased by 0.9 Ethanol can be a Canadian success success story. It isn't - yet. But a new federal initiative, the National Biomass Biomass Ethanol Program, will help Canada's fledgling ethanol industry to expand and reach its full potential. Ethanol is an alcohol and can be made from com, wheat, barley, straw and even sawdust. It can be added to gasoline and, helps the environment. It can give Canadian farmers an important important new market for their crops. Yet despite these benefits, ethanol production hasn't experienced much growth lately. Ethanol is competing with the mature mature gasoline industry and needs support support until it becomes self-sufficient. However, the volumes of ethanol produced are so minor that expanding production will not harm the oil and gas industry. Just two new plants producing ,100 million litres of ethanol each would create a significant new market market for farm products. Besides increasing increasing Canadian farmers' incomes, any commodity price increases have the potential to save the government an estimated $40 million over five years. It is expected that a moderate increase increase in ethanol production could create 6,000 temporary construction jobs and 400 permanent jobs. Furthermore, Furthermore, there would be spin-off benefits to other sectors. Biomass-derived ethanol and other other alternative fuels arc now exempt from the federal 8.5 ccnts/litrc excise tax, and the government has committed committed to keeping this exemption for fuel ethanol during its current mandate. The National Biomass Ethanol Program Program introduces a future line of credit credit which provides ethanol producers with a means of rescheduling their long-term debt. This would be used if changing economic circumstances caused financial difficulties for the industry. percent, or 3,000. In total, there were 338,500 households or 597,500 individuals individuals receiving general assistance in Ontario. The Minister noted that social assistance assistance caseloads remain well below the March, 1994 levels, as a result of case -1 file investigations, better management management of thé province's social assistance assistance system, and the government's government's job creation efforts through programs such as jobsOntario Training. Training. As well, the new jobLink Ontario Ontario program, geared specifically to people on social assistance, will continue continue in this direction as part of the government's efforts to improve the social assistance system. "We are, more than ever, committed committed to proceeding with our programs to help people to get back into the workforce and off social- assistance," said Mr. Silipo. This line of credit is fully repayable repayable with interest, and there are no subsidies to industry or immediate costs to the taxpayer. The new program program will be administered by the Farm Credit Corporation on behalf of Agriculture and Agri-Food Canada. In addition to the National Biomass Biomass Ethanol Program, several federal federal government departments are supporting supporting research designed to lower costs of ethanol production. For example, example, Agriculture and Agri-Food Canada is spending $1.6 million on ethanol research this year and in each of next two years. At the present time, Canada produces produces approximately 26 million litres of ethanol, while we consume about 30 million litres. Most of it is produced produced in Western Canada. One of the potential benefits of the new program is that it may expand the industry to other regions of the country and further further increase the demand for the product. Come and Worship with us SUNDAY, JANUARY 8TH, 1995 at 11:00 a.m. MISSION SUNDAY Jim and Betty Geddes from Taiwan St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church 623-3432 Temperance and Church St., Bowmanville Rev. Ted O'Neill, Interim Moderator © New Federal Program Promotes Canada's Ethanol Fuel Industries daughter's life might try to persuade her to go shopping with him for her clothes, something mother usually does. If he succeeds, he gets a chance to find out about teen fashions, what clothes are in, which groups at school she favors, and so on. His interest in her, his knowledge of her, his understanding understanding of her - the ingredients missing missing in their relationship - get a jump- start. Guilt has a bad name in today's childrearing circles. And it should be avoided, but only if it's a deliberate strategy to gain the upper hand with kids. Parents who are strung out, exhausted, exhausted, out of patience, at the end of their rope, need their children's understanding, understanding, patience and just plain help, but don't know how to ask. Can sullen, self-centered teenagers leam cooperation with their parents? To that end, it's important to # share with children those emotions that convey something of parents' own humanity. "I feel hurt when you do (say) that." "I need your support and cooperation now." "I feel scared the way things arc going and 1 need you to understand that." Such statements of honest feelings - the desire to involve involve the children in parents' emotional emotional lives - can be a step toward- encouraging, encouraging, not bribing, kids to take more responsibility for their own behaviour behaviour when it causes suffering for others. Too much use of parenting strategies strategies based on guilt usually backfires. Repeated shows of parental martyrdom, martyrdom, aimed only at gaining emotional emotional advantage over kids, make them cynical, cold, unsympathetic and distant. distant. The best parenting goals with kids are always to encourage cooperation cooperation and strengthen connections, not merely to enforce rules and require compliance. Lloyd Scott is a marriage and family counsellor in private practice in Oshawa and in the Orono Medical Centre. He welcomes letters from readers. Write him in confidence at this newspaper, The Canadian Statesman, Statesman, P.O. Box 190, Bowmanville, Ont. L1C3K9. g MUNICIPALITY OF ( ^taring ton ONTARIO PUBLIC NOTICE TO ALL RESIDENTS OF THE MUNICIPALITY OF CLARINGTON Applications for the use of all ball fields, soccer fields and Orôno Park picnic areas are now being accepted by the Community Services Department. Deadline date for requests of ball field or soccer field use by both children and adult groups is: FRIDAY, JANUARY 20,1995 If you have questions about the use of any Municipally operated facility, please call 623-3379. #4876 © LIBERTY PENTECOSTAL CHURCH Corner of Martin Road and Highway #2, Bowmanville Rev. Richard T. Hilsden, Senior Pastor Sunday, January 8,1995 9:30 and 11:15 a.m. Communion and The Word Pastor Hilsden speaking 6:30 p.m. Speaker: Evangelist Steve Sparling "Prayer, the Key to the City" THIS PRAYER CRUSADE January 8 ,h - January 11 th , 1995 Sunday, January 8th, 6:30 p.m. Speaker - Evangelist Steve Sparling Topic - "Prayer, the key to the city" Monday, January 9th, 7:00 p.m. Speaker - Pastor Mark Scarr Topic - "Prayer that revives the city" TXiesday, January 10th, 7:00 p.m. Speaker - Pastor Greg Gill Topic - "Prayer, the wheel that turns the city" Wednesday, January 11th, 7:00 p.m. Speaker - Lynn Kohls, teacher at EPBC and former missionary from Africa Topic - "Prayer is the work of the ministry" Special Children's Program Provided Plus ... Games, Food, Crafts and Fun, Fun, Fun! (for ages 7-11) Twinkle the Clown (for ages 2 - 6) Plus Nursery Program © EVERYONE IS WELCOME! FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL 623-5100 <bv