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’T-H'E. DDRHAM-cfimmcLE a: What is celebrity? The advantage of, being known to people who don’t know mu.â€"Chamtort. But just as the silence was begin. ning to be felt Nye stepped blandly and quickly from behind the scenes,- lald his hand on his companion’s arm 5 and gazed thoughtfully 'over the house. 'Then, in a mild but distinct voice. he “asked: Even the fact that it was a near British audience could not hide the consummate wit of the remark. and the evening was saved and made a triumph instead of ignominous defeat for the speakersâ€"Strickland W. Gil- man in St. Louis Republic. confused beyo'nd récall. Nye and Burbank were being starred lthat year by Major Pond. They were {doing the Canadian provinces and on the night of the special episode were at Victoria. British Columbia. Bur- ’bank was doing heavy dramatic work :'as the best possible foil for Nye’s {subtle and side racking humor. But I in the audience were several men who [had that evening tasted too frequently of the flowing bowl. These would oc- casionally break forth with remarks that were models of untimeliness. Finally, when Burbank was in the midst of his most fascinating and trag- k: reading and the audience was hold- lng its breath. one whose breath was too strong to be held burst out into a mandlin snatch of song which utter- ly sidetracked and discouraged the lee- i But perhaps the best instance of per- feet adaptation on the spur of the mo- ment is found in an anecdote Bob Bur- dette vouched for as having been the experience of his illustrious contem- porary. Bill Nye. “Well,” said Day, the settledness of despair 11: his tone. “you’ll like me!” “Is 01'. Leslie R. Keeley in the .y.9’ “Did you hear her?” “Ever’body a-kiqkin’. Said she was poorer’n home talent.” ’ “I hope to goodness you’re better'n .the last number on our course was!” “Who was it?” asked Mr. Day. “Dr. Russell Conwell of Philadelfy.” “Didn’t you like him?” asked Day in a daze. “Rotten!” said the conimitteeman. “Who came before that?” “Leland '1‘. Powers of Boston.” “Well. you liked him, or course.” “Turrible rotten!” “And what did you have before that?” asked Day, now prepared for anything. “Schumann-Helm: and her comm- beards, etc., when a ‘committeemnn came baek to see him. After the usual greetings the committeeman said: Sometimes a town committee is can tankerous and takes on a degree of choiciness never dreamed of or aspir- ed to by a city committee. At one time Elias Day. a makeup artist, was behind the scenes laying out his wigs. “I am going to add a phrase to the litany. making it read as follows: ‘From our truducers and our intro- ducers good Lord deliver us!’ ” At. one time Dr. Thomas E. Green was submitted to the long introduction agony. He stood it as patiently as possible. and so did the audience. but when the introdur-er ceased and bowed out the paid speaker of the evening Dr. Green walked forward and said in his most ministerial tone : “The next number on this splendid course will be given two weeks from' tonight by Dr. Robert McIntyre. who‘ will deliver his celebrated lecture ‘Buttoned Up Penple.’ ” The audience shrieked. and to this day. through the tender hearted for- bearance of those people. that lecturer does not know why the announcement of his confrere’s beautiful word pier ture lecture created just that kind of enthusiasm. Once upon a time a lecturer reached his date at. 7:30. He had to get his sup per. shave and dress between then and the usual scheduled starting time. 8:15. Accordingly be dressed with more haste than he had intended. and twd top buttons of his trousers failed taf receive proper attention. This showed plainly in the glare of the footlia'hts; and a bit of his dress shirt protruded noticeably. The audience had a hard time being courteous and reconciling the ridiculousness of the speaker’s ap-_ pearance with the serious dignity and beauty of his lecture. Still. all would have been well but for the fact that at the close of the address and while the speaker still sat on the platform in his Unconscious dishabille the platform manager rose and announced impres4 lively: Same of the involuntary humor of the platform is worth remembering and repeating. For instance: €858 for the platform performer de- pends on his hoidiug the spot light 0? his audience's attention through 3 cru- cial strain caused by unexpected d1- version. I‘t Saved an Embarrassing Situation: and Turned a Painful Silence Into a Burst of Laughterâ€"A Simple Notice ' That Made an Audience Roar. . ‘The funniest humor is the uninten- tional kind. The best comedy is that which has never been rehearsed or premeditated. but springs to life in close straits when everything of suc- BILL NYE’S TACTFUL QUERY. Unexpected Diversions That Were Not on the Bills. PLATFORM HUMOR speaker stopped. lost and Hard to Attain. “I like optimistic people.” “So do I. ” “You do? Then why don’t you be Optimistic?” Hard Work. “\Vilson ls working awful hard this season." “That 80?” Nothing Doing. “I am dining out tonight.” “Are you '2" “Yes. and you?” “Oh. I am out of dining.” ‘What’ 8 he doing?” “Looking for a place that is my and no work.” “What?” “When you are vorced.” “I wish I knew when I am going to be married.” “You’d still have something to worry over." “W'ould I '2” “Well, what of it?” “You know the skeleton b sly -uV.) a» _ The wheels will never m Clicking ‘Wfi! like an apple can Picking M w to the busy M “D0 1?. “To succeed in life you must be al- ' If ‘5‘:wa 5' *5 “mimic immi- Ways on the tiring line.” "m 3‘9 ‘° 1°” W”V¢u ” “7" “Doesn’t work that way W1?!) me.” mfim 9" 335.2: 0““‘9‘W. “That is strange.” “It is true. though. Whenever work Please send your contribution to 1. Is slack the boss always sees me, and :08! Begum!» Chairman. or Q I am first on his firm line.” angina uvidson, Boom-M g ~ 000?, The Hospital for“ W Brufnl ‘ Cones-o at. Term“ Dangerous. “You always leave that closet door It Will never “Yes.” It Is pleasant to believe that people will miss us when we are gone. but wisest not to put them to the test. . Many a woman who knows nothing ;)f the art of canning and preserving lKeeps; her family in pickle all the'time. Going backward seems to be some people’s idea of progress. As we!) talk about dry rain cynic. as pure poiitics. Some men mix up with trouble as naturally as a boy does with jelly cake. One way to determine if a man is: lying is to note whether he acts as we do when we prevaricate. The verdant moss adheres not to the active pebble. One way to get along with a hus« band is to cook him good dinners. Some persons work so hard learning to live that it kills them. ['1‘ seems incongruous to have to pay a physician :1 big fee far presenting you with a death warrant. I see myself saw.” Reward. Yes. kissing goes by favor From inland town to coast. But still the biggest stealer He gets the most. 9’ The Thing to Do. in doubt what?” experience will not WIS}. Emmy. PERT PARAGRAPHS. purchue shag, Back Action. L9 Said the 1° ‘- -vvsallllboo Mr. and Mrs. \Vm. Ritchie visited friends at, Boothville and Swinmvn Park. Mr. \Vm. Kenny had the misfur- time last, week of losing a valuable five-year-uld horse. This loss is doubly severe (in Mr. Kenny, as 1L is only a few weeks since it‘s mate died Mr. and Mrs. Archie Ecbm' were vis- iting his sister. Mrs. John Little. near Dondalk. the beginning of the Week. ' The meeting of the Edge Hill Liter- ‘ ary Society was held on Friday even- ing, and a good crowd assembled. Af- ter a. short. program ' sumed the nature 0 - menu. \V. G. Firth ‘ H. Ritchie leader of the Oppnsition. The gnvemmenn broug ' ' iim-ndm-e Domestic S pumirr sceools. After much discussmn on both sides, when the vote was tak- en. the bill was defeated. The next meeting is to be boys’ lit. -v .‘IV' \ With friends in Grecnoch. M r. Edgar Ritchiv is engaged three months with Mr. John Sinc of Drmnoru. Mr. Samuel Legat‘e. of Grand lav, spent a few days last week aw vhf Edge families Mr. Willie Ev Lm with friends m Grea Miss Julia, W'eir. . "3 The {nifortune w 391, 105%;3.‘ ""' '1“ " “MW Prep-110. 501d many 2% [,3 36t8madwa? P3 2' Y3 «D011 0mm. [m D G. “v aliapdaomezy i1; culauon 01.21137 1* M” 2!: 53.6 9. ye “Rafi-'Eilca‘ers. Anyono sand? gummy assâ€"emu: gz‘lvem inn‘gs pn‘ ‘ ..\4 (ll. .lso.uu .acc “fibrxuuUf‘M 9335 .343... a . $ ,. u. - . .9 ¢’ muzuEmaxu L. ‘ .349. on thi A... l3'~ Pr_t.«3..x8 .tzwéâ€"t}. Emu 1962a ‘.w3:cc. Withotfi 8 nun! ton [07338. were hand has, COLLEGE STREET, TORONTO THE HOSPITAL FOR SICK CHILDREN ., “ HIE SWEETEST 0F Ill THE MARINES.” Will You Help It In 1 Its Hour of Need... a _ .vvv‘ vv at} “J. ,ny scienti ’c jomna! .9. year, postage prev. ____,.‘ “4.44;va . the series of Literary will he held in the Friday evening, Feb. conducted under the Jan.26.1911 wuovvnuuc; Magnét Cream Purchased them . ‘Thos: Ryan. of -r sex,taking thé be subject being. regulation li_quor 0 3.- I "mama! ma; 2-2;: tage Dmpaid. Sold by spent, a few days 497 .OA‘F'BCIII‘H g; urgent; Nan?! 6; '.~:ece1vc gigs. mthe abookuwéll uby‘ bfgfapd-oqh Is engaged for :-. John Sinclair, 5 LL. 1d 5303c: P9 or ROCky accom- fiftzr . as a fine amon fate: If. 89 Hogan was Mal twins on the 4 twins Wexe annq wanted ex'cmsivd solitary ki‘ten‘. 3-1 ing. A neigh‘wor gate. “Well, Hc “what would v01 uchildren of van“ in his cha'r “All . warrud couldn't it clued. “but. " be it”: give tin c2111 .‘llore like thim " "3.x ii; 5"ng18 returning *thh at Hanov ‘_ t, two of on horse became unn ran ZWQV. Upsefi damaging it cons farther on. anoth 395 rigs was re yr match a: w gway dashed fifi‘ging this on . -' ely, nobody. 3 cutters m ’3 ed up Monday. “'9 ha March yet aheal DrOSHects of pie er. It's a con to know that season in regula The Weather winter has Lee: though crmsic enough. 0n 5 was mi1d. on SA rained. and 6111 became quite .1 real stormy win Dornoch'. It is j to improve 1hei defective in 1114 Company's .99. they have deci tion of the lug miil, and sec-um the balance. rh this being :hat of their efecseriq will operate thc a motor, and r1 track at engine ha Palmersto The n:( was two 1 in lez‘.\‘i':: It is liké reports w Week. Tt getiing th to have 1? week, and them up. Send them um hold 1 the town nesday. I at 8 pm. body invi ot-uple. Miss Dick for the past spring miliin: ent who‘zesa-Ie days in the 1 ment, learnia styles Are you sat (Lion? Have * how many h Mt Forest the very p Begin your c Dr. Brown, England, eye will be at the 11mm 1 to 5 February 18 April 15th. Lost.-â€"Betw Durham, 21 I let, for right rewarded by Chronicle ofd In early 5} bought a s< Spring styles wholesale, 3! to take orde: Mt. Forest ltarted hund‘ and women c Will you not Mr. Jas. M daugh proud Bruce and La Glass brothe: Have you ‘ the epinster open at Gun Custom 83‘ at the Durh the time to t And don’t to Owen Sn Big reduc February or The N OW W Thursday, Hanover v Hockey td VOL. nar‘. th£ he