The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

EIGHT. E: DURHAM CHRONICLE. Training Her. Once little sister Was not very wen, and all day long she had been fractions and domineering. At last six-year-old Johnnie's patience came to an end. “Mother." he demanded. “don't you want sister to be a good wife like you. when she’s big?" ‘ ‘ ‘ “Of course. my son.” : “Well. then. why don’t you start her right? You insist on my giving her everything she wants just because she’s a girl and littler’n me. but you’re a great. deal littler'n daddy. and yet every night when he comes home you jump out of the easy chair and say: “Here’s your chair. John. dear: here’s the new magazine: iet me run and get your slippers!’ ” And before his sur- prised mother could frame a reply Johnnie swooped down and tore his cars from the hands of the screaming baby. 3 .1 A. “She’ll be a turrible wife if we don’t? begin to train her." he remarked calm; 1y as he strode from the room. his treasures under his arm. -â€" Ladies’ Home Journal. Retort of a Bonaparte. l The former king of Westphalia, a man of wit. was one day examining an inkstand upon the table of some one we know. The writer. at whose house Jerome Bonaparte was at that mo- ment, had brought back from a trip to the Alps. made in company with Charles Nodier. some years before. a bit of steatitic sermntine. carved and hollowed into an inkstand. which he had purchased of a chamois hunter of the mer de glace. Jerome Bonaparte was looking at this. “What. is it?" he asked. “My inkstand." replied the writer. Then he added: “it is stoatite. Ad- mire nature, who makes this charming green stone out of a little dirt and oxide.” “I admire much more the men." re- sponded Jerome Bonaparte “who make an inkstund out of this st..'one For a brother of Napoleon this was not a bad reply. and he should be credited with it. for the inkstand is so destroy the sword-‘v’ictor Hugo. A Foible of the Great Rachel. “Look at the presents Rachel. the {great actress, made to every one.” say the panegyrists. They forget to men- tion that an hour afterward she re- gretted her generosity. and from that moment she never left off scheming how to get the things back. Every one knew this. Beauvallet, to whom she gave a magnificent sword one day. in- stead of thanking her said: “I’ll have a chain put to it. mademoiselle. so as to fasten it to the wall of my dressing room. In that way I shall be sure that it will not disappear during my absence.” Alexandre Dumas the younger. to whom she made a present of a ring, bowed low and placed it ,back on her finger at once. “Allow me to present it to you in my turn, mademolselle, so as to prevent your asking for it." She did not say may. but carried the matter with one of her fascinating smiles.-â€"â€"“An Englishman In Paris.” I l Misanthupyâ€"or Caution? What could be more refreshing to a jaded sense of humor than this story. which the London Daily Mail tells of the greatest huttonholer in London? On his return from a winter holiday this gentleman was telling his ac- quaintances at his club in Pall Mall that he had been «)eonpyix a a house at Davos. not far from Mr. Labouchere. who. he added. was in a very melan- choly state. 33 A...‘ y-'V_J ~-vr_ “I am truly sorry for that." said one of his hearers. "What is the matter with him ?" '7 -v- “Well,” replied the bore, ”1 was out walking one day when I saw Labou- chere coming down the lane toward me. The moment he caught sight of me he darted into a fir wood which was close by and hid behind a tree till I had passed. Oh. very sad. indeed!” Naming the Bay. Old Jum, gardener and general fac- totum, was accompanied one day by a bright looking lad eight or ten years “Is this your boy ?” I asked. “Yassuh, be mine, de las’ one I got, sun. J unior, you wuflies nigger. mek you manners ter de white folks.” “Nawsuh,” the old man replied rather indignantly. “He ain’ name fuh me. My name Jumbo, whar my mammy git ont’n de Bible. Dis hyah chile name Junior cuz he wuz bawn in June.”-, Lippincott’s. i “Junior,” I commented “So be named after you.” Pleasant For Slithers. 6 “Well, Tommied‘ said the joyous Slithers, “you must congratulate me. I am going to marry your sister.” “Oh, thunder!” growled Tommie. . “Why, Tommie!” protested Slithers. “Don’t you like me?” “Oh. yes, I like you well enough,“ said Tommie. “but I bet Mabel a pound of candy you wouldn’t be £001 enough to ask her, and she bet you would.”â€"Haxper’s Weekly. Making a Monkey of Him. “I have hired a genealogist to look up my family tree.” 1 “He’d better be careful.” 4 “Why?” '~ i “Lest one or your ancestors soaks him with a nut."â€"-New York Tele- graph- 1 “The woman I man “must be able to blush." “0h.” she replied. “I can do that. I blush every time I am seen anywhere with you.”-Exchange. i Whether at home or abroad. the hap- piest are those who have helped 801110f one else to be happy. ‘ Eligible. - ” be said. ORCHARD. As we have not moticed any hap- penings of our -important little Burg, we jot down the following: 'MrS. “CT. Finder is spending the Easter holidays with her sister. Mrs. Bell. of Pine River. Miss Minnie Douglas arrived home from Toronto, to spend some. time with her ‘mother, Mrs. John Douglas. Mrs. Geo. Jones left last week for Dundurn. Sasha, where she will ioin her husband. Before her de- parture, her lady friend's met one evening at the home, of her father. Mr. Geo. Eddington, . and gave her a linen shower, SMA‘? SPRING AND SUMMER Miss Lulu E. Bladle‘v is spendmgi the Easter holiday uith Toronto; friends. i Miss Emily Eddington. of Toron-i to. is visiting her parents, Mr. and Mrs Geo. Eddington, of this place! Our efficient teacher, Mr. C. W5 McLellan, allowed the children to have a program on Thursday afâ€" ternoon, it being the last day of the term. Though not present, we feel safe in saying it was a suc- cess as some of our little folks possess splendid talent. Miss Jeanette H032. of Durham, visited the parental home here last Sunday. Mr. Robt. Moifat had the misfor- tune to be kicked by one of his‘ frisky colts a few days ago. D1 Gun of Durham, was summoned '. and pronounced three ribs broken, and ordered Bob to bed But Bob‘ didn t stay long in bed, and is outf and around again. You can’t keep :1 good man down. ; Miss Florence Mark spent Easter with Holstein friends. Our little town is ever changing, and real estate may be a good thing here yet. Mr. Adam Kellar. $12. has purchased the old hotel property; Mr. Joe Blyth, the Hoegi house, and Mr. James Hop- kins is now the owner of the Queen homestead. Mr. James Mark, we understand, made the two fornier' deals. He will soon have to have. an office and a stenographer to‘i help him if the boom keeps on. 1 Miss Minnie Ker, a young lady": who has been engaged in Mission5 work in New Ontario, spoke in Orchard church recently, and at the close organized a W. .31. Am:â€" illiary, with the following officers: ,Mrs. A. Tuck, Pres: Mrs. Jas. E Brown, Vice Pres; Miss Lulu Bradâ€" ley, Sec.â€"Treas. We trust our little society will add to its num- bers and be successful in aiding ’the good work of missions. 1 i l Dried'orange skin makes good kindling. Stove polish mixed With a tea- spoonful of glycerine will stick. Add cocoa or melted chocolate to vour plain cake for a change. ing. To remove the S vgame, ‘leave a qu it over night- When filling 3 cold water throufi clean it. U 5e baking 80‘ silver: apply as 3 any silver polish. into, the fire. 1.1156315: 59.... _.._., be spread by its use. Good wash cloths for the little made from the best Throw a black Come to our Millinery Parlors every day if 1 on 11i1l and each day vou come you will find \e11 Hats to admire. The collection 18 par- ticularl1 strong in flats for wear durino these earl1 Spiing days, and choice of some- thing 1 erv smart and becoming can be made at prices from $3 00 to $8. 00 The prices we ask for these dainty productions are remark- ahlv low, we doubt if “Hats anything like as pretty could be sold anywhere at priees so reasonable. The time to buy is LOW. They will soon he picked up by mothers who know by experience how difficult it usually is to find Hats that are really becoming and girlish. We have been in Toronto and made another large purchase of New Shapes in Black, White, and Tuscan. Misses “arid Children’s Hats MISS DICK the strong taste from a quartered onion in (1-3 for cleaning you would apply wet Ladies’ Suits, Skirts, and Ladies’ Wear to Our Stock of New Spring Goods has arrived and are now on our shelves for your inspection. Our stock comprises Men’s Tailored Suits, extra well made. Men's Pants all sizes. New Spring Goods 1 Have Arrived Our prices are the lowest in town, and we ask you to call and be convin- ced . Be sure apdtgive us a call. You will save money by dealing here. GARAFRAXA ST. Fully Butter and Eggs. Wool, Hides, Live Poultry, and all kinds of Farm Pro- duce taken as Cash. (First door south Burnett’s Bakery) M. GLASER A pril 11th, 1912. at DURHAM