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by a farmer. should he called by its proper name. “stealing," and the per- petrator treated to the odiuni which ought to attach to such offences, and to the penalties which the law consid- stately provides for surh vrimes. +44- Snow-plough-- -\\'here was the town snow-plough last Monday morning? With a foot of loose snow on the. “Nets, and everylnxly waiting for wine one else tohreak the. roads. it was nearly noon before a lady could ivcnture out with safety. In many cases the school children had to plod ;nore than kneedeep through the soft gnaw to get to school. It is a down- right shame that such a state of affairs rt allowed to eontinue. \V hat are the "own Fathers doing? How much L[Voting up do they need? “'eek after week is passing, and the old to-Inorrow policy." which ap- to he in the ascendant at the il Board. prolongs a discmlitahle tion after every storm. whieh a push would prevent at. small ' \Vooil lnslu-etor , Speaking of wood. piling reminds me that. once before I spoke. of the need of a wood inspector in town to settle all disputes and to see that justice is done between man 3nd man. It should be known that a. cord of wood is 12.8 euhie feet, or half that for a. ”short cord." no more, no! less. and it should be as much a crim- inal offence for a farmer to give short measure in wood as for a merchant to give a light pound in sugar or a short yard in broadcloth. There are very loose notions abroad on these ques- tions, and the practice of giving short weight or measure by a dealer or merchant, and of piling wood badly 4- 4- 4- Vue or Yawnâ€"The other day Talk about playingr hide-and-seek or barking hoh-sleighs through the holes in that pile ! These phrases are weak, and fail to do justice to the occasion. If some happy editor could coin a new phrase to hit olf adequately the artis- tic instinct of this particular wood-pil- er, his fortune would he made. and his name enrolled among the clever ones of the age. 3rd one of our fashionable young Mes say she was very fond of vases antique pattern. Though a Canad- I. she pronounced the word Vawzes," and I wondered if she had flected " this truly unCanadian pro- .cintion from across the water or‘ the New England Hub. It re-‘ the of the remonstrance of the young lady with her country the clever reply. B. Y. L. , “ma,” Polly; the word ‘Vnml-piliugâ€"Jl‘lw best example of scientilit- wood-piling. which I have set-n this year. is on rxhibition in a. certain public squari- in this town. It is M'llllllfit.‘ inunmu l: as consummate art is shown in the precise adjustment of “)0 slid-ks SH 35 to svll the unfortun' atc- purrlmsrr as mm-h fresh air as possible at 32.1)“ a. curd. lt lnust have tab-n me time In learn the trade of wood-piling so as to fill nvarly half the space with air. but that it has been mastnul perfectly, no (me will duubt after swing tl‘u- pile referred to. Durham, Feb. 12, 1903. DUBHAM CHRONICLE Laxative Grip Tablets. THE MAN ON THE STREET. Pine} Balsam. Carr’s Cough Care. W. IRWIN. Editor and Proprietor. Dmrums'rs AND BOOKSELLERS. SPECIALTY made {63' the little Iolks 25c a bottle. Pleasunt to take. 'I‘ty it FOR recent colds. 25c 1 bottle 00338 01495. - 13?"! hot“ fully l was saying, 1 rooms lawn to 50: i bottl “Next to my own beloved country give me Scothnd (or residence and grave. The people are in such down- rightmt. Therein snchtrou-in I to look around for testimonials to certify to the ability of an ordinary Scott-binan to understand a joke. For myself, I confess that I feel that when one has to go and get a certificate to prove a vase of that kind, his case, as a rule, is as hopeless as would be that‘ of the man who had to get a certificate | to prove that he was living, but letting Ithat opinion of certificates stand for what it is worth. I shall give one of the testimonies the Canon adduces to prove his point. The writer he (1qu is Dr. Talmage. and this is part of what he has tosay :â€" Set in this light, it did seem as if ' Sydney Smith had, perhaps, been ' wrongly quoted, and that the bold surgical operation story was just a tale started by some one that had not brains enough to relish a joke when it was given. Since my conversation! with Mr. Moffat. however, I havecome across a book by the Rev. Canon Mc- Kenzie on " Scotland’s share in civiliz- ing the \Vorld," and find there the story of the “sm'gical operation " joke, and then following it is the story at the interview with Chambers in sub- stantially the same terms as Mr. Mof- fat tells it. to which Mr. McKenzie j adds "Now that joke was intended as i an amende honorable for what he. had said before. and it contains the admis- sion that the Scotcfiare. asI think they are. an immensely funny people.” “'hether my friend can forgive, Syd- ney'Smith or not I fear the evidence is pretty strong that he did rub Scotch- men a little in their want of humour. Even one so confident of Scottish excellence in the matter of humor as Canon McKenzie. may beforgiven if the thrust leads him not only to pro- test against the nnismpresentttion, but ”- V - ’ I ‘ figfirs “ Oh, by all means," replied Smitho “ you are an immensely funny people, but you need a little operating upon you to let the fun out, and I know of no instrument so effectual for that purpose as the corkscrew.” "\Voll," rvplied (lhamlmrs, “we do sonwtinws work pretty hard, but for all that we can relish our little pleas~ antrios as much as our nelghbors. You must have observed that the Scotch have a considerable fund of humour." “0h. lnlmro, [abut-e,” said Smith sententinusly. “how that word express- vs the elm “actt'l' of your country. vâ€" wwâ€" The question which most strongly {:3} the m and the; make 11;: agitates the great public mind Of the tempt u .uppmion of glee, 1])” community, and especially the femi- do not simper or snicker, or chuckle. nine part of it, just now is the necessi- Throw g joke into a Scotchman’s ear ty for smoke consumers at the cement and It ran. down to the centre of his , works. Monday is no longer washing diaphragm, and then spreads out both dSY- That (16991158 DOW 00 the direc- ways toward the foot and brow until tion of the wind. Last week a score the emotion becomes volcanic, and of washings had to be done over. One from the longest hair in the crown of [good lady was heard to remark she the head to the tip end of the nail on could not live here and be dirty all the big toe there is paroxysn) of each. the time. And there are others. Even i innation. No half and half about the the rain-water, upon which we relied l Scotch character. ‘Vhat he hates he to clean up once and a while, is now'. hates; what he likes he likes, and he itself in need of cleaning. It has taken lets you know it right away.” 0" a decidedly ebony bl"?- EVBPY day By way of offsetting Smith’s sally at ,it is becoming more apparent that the Scotchmen, McKenzie culls the follow- ? (‘enient (‘0. must be asked to put on ing from an Anleripan source :-â€"~ smoke (-(msmners at an early date, elsel H Shp_\vhat (10 they mean by the Lower Town may he put up at auc- centre of gravity? . tion. If it is so had now with only H(._T(,naj0kp to a party of Eng- Ifl'm" t“'0 t“ 1'0“!” rotaries working, lishmen and that’s precisely what you what will it be when all the furnaces would be.” :u e in full blast? Our happiness and Thanking you for your space. ! ronlfort must not be dependent on the! Yours, COR. 1 lieklent-ss of the Mind. The local din rector mm surely get his hand in here; and do something for his fellow (-iti-i ,, ' ’9 Zens. A quiet representation of the; HOW NOT TO DO 11" fan-ts to the cement, company will ' THE EDITDR (‘ngmxu'w’h prolmhly be sufficient to secure. the. On behalf of a number of long suf- muu-h needed abatement of the nuis-j fpping citizens, [ would like to ask l it'll.‘.. l t]“°l\ll(f‘\ fhll I\II‘\I;[. Ixrnlhun .‘ ...‘....L:--.. ~â€"â€"~ ‘ mhv- , â€"â€" lwuinfor arena. endwhen Igot their mirth like a tempeet'in the to the store my tune was as red as Tron-ache. Take a. Glugow audience fire. Do correct me when I any my- end a speaker must have his feet well thing countrifled, won’t you, Anut‘ ,plnnted on the platform or he will be unis? lovermuted by the sympathy of the 4. 4. 4. ’populnce. They are not uhnmed to cm with their broad palms wiping The question WhiCh "30“ “4‘0an? away the tears, and they make no at- agitates the great pUbliC mind 0‘ the tempt as suppression of glee, They community. and especially the femi- do not simper or snicker, or chuckle. IT NEEDS A CORKSCREW. oâ€"‘c.v-» my room. Toothbrush and comb, tooth- hush, toothbrush, toothbrush! Don’t forget what I want. boy, and hurry. too. Got to get my tram." “N-no, sir-r; y-yes. sir," chattered Willie. Winslow hung about impatiently, watching the clock like u hswk. Only nurture for Denver he was paying his bill, when he called Willie, hanging fascinatingly near. “I want you,” he said slowly, glaring Into the boy’s eyes, “to go upstairs and so. if I left my toothbrush and comb in 'A practical and early replv will much oblige. ' Another question. Gentlemen. Do you propose to wait until July 'next before you decide to invest in a snow- plough? To the average grown up ,' citizen of the male persuasion this I question means little: unlessit so hap- pens that he is the happy possessor of a family, in which case he will agree with me that there is no more pitiable sight than that of a little girl, six or i seven years of age, trudging along with a large bag of school books and [ up to her kneeinn snow. l I With a school population of over '400, it surely need only be pointed out to you what a great deal of comfort might be secured to the pupils, (not to speak of the. danger that they are sub- jected to by using the middle of the street as a foot path, or that of sitting in wet garments during school hours) should you see. fit in your wisdom to get the snow-plough out on the war ' path before the summer breezes do the i work for you. North, East, South and \Vestâ€"«- whielun'er way you travelâ€"in towns with half the population of Durham, . the councils have enterprise sufficient ito furnish good systems of electric f lighting for the public! andgthe writer ‘ must confess that when lately spend- ! ing an evening in a village not a hun- ldred miles from Durham, he was lashamed to admit, in answer to a ‘ question, that Durham was still so far behind the times, that when a citizen 'made a call upon a neighbor in the evening he was obliged to take his lantern with him : but he added with a hit of pardonahle pride, “We are this much ahead of our grandfathers, that we yse coal oil in our lanterns and not candles as they did.” I i I i I On the Surely Gentlemen, it is tiluefnr a (change in the pmspomus Town of Durham. i For years past thoqm-stion has (-onio i up again and again, only to he as oftvn shelved; tenders have been asked for with apparently no othvr object in vimv, than putting contractors to the trouble of making calculations and submitting estin‘iatvs to the solons of tho (founrii Board; whoaftor giving them their serious considt‘-ration, direct said estimates to ho ('arvfully piogeon- holed away, while the long suffering1 citizen spoken of continues in l)llSSflll' darkness to find his way home the best way he can. Is it your intention, Gentlmnen, to take any actin steps during your term of nfiice towards Securing vfiic- ivnt street lighting in the Tuwu of Durham? On behalf of a number of long suf- fering citizens, I would like to ask through the public press, a question or two of that (fimrumlocution Society, known as the Municipal Council of the Town of Durham, whiohnmy he of interest to the gene 'al publifi: lieâ€"Tell a joke to a party of Eng- lishmen and that’s precisely what you would be." Thanking you for your space. Yours, COR. Throw a joke into a Scotchman’s ear and lt'rolle down to the centre of his diaphragm, and then spreads out both ways toward the foot and brow until the emotion becomes volcanic, and from the longest hair in the crown of the head to the tip end of the nail on the big toe there is paroxysm of cach- innation. No half and half about the Be Left Them. A ('URHJUH RA'I‘EPA YER. Winslow’s (1e. Mr. John Lawrence, Jr, is making preparations for the building of an audition to his barn this ‘summer. do. Following are the officers for L. 0. 11:; L. No. 1192 for the current year. whirh ’ is in a progressive condition and de- in: tel-mined to retain the honor of being Ind the banner lodge of South Grey :-T.1 Mn J. \Vatoon, \V. M.: Wm. John 31er- “' den, D. M.: Win. Ritchie, Chop; T. m Ritchie, Rec. Seen; George Aljoe, Fin. 17, See.: Thos. McFadden. Treas.; Henry red Lawrence, Lect.; James Brown, Sr., John W'ilson, James Hapkins, George 1:, 4. Watson, W'm. McFadden, 0001.; 11y Wm. Jae. McFadden, D. of 0.: James 110 Brown, J r., and W'. F. Brown, Tilers. ‘11-. John Moore, we understand, " purchased his hr othel, \Vill s, \ aluahle team. and intends taking them with him to Manitoba. Mr. J ohu Lawrence, Stu, spent Sun- day in your town. Old, but true, is the proverb that a man’s heart should ever be open, his cars frequently, his mouth seldom. It’s not so with the man who is trying to get himself tangled up in other people’s businsss. A little son of \V. B. \Vatson’ s was under the doctor’ 8 care last week, but is now on the road to mom exy. Mr. James Brown is making prepar- ations for extensive improvements this summer, and ere. long will be able to vie with the rest of our up-toâ€"dnte fax-liners. Mr. Anthony Lawrence purchased a fine two-year-old Colt from Mr. R. Bell lately. . Mr. John Lawrence, Jr., is the possessor of a dashing team of two- year-old colts. which he recently pur- chased at a. high price. Mr. Grippe is again paying his un- welcome annual visit to this section. His visits so far have. been of a some- what wild type. Mr. Jas. Maine is recovering from an attack of pneumonia. Mrs. Joe thwl rencu left 01) Saturday to visit J [Inglewood friends. Miss Multmis, of ('lwlmygan, Mich, is spending the wintm' at D. Mclnnis'. Say, Mr. Editor, can 'l‘lm(1l)m)ni(:lu’s weather prophet accurately fm'etell all those rapid changes in tho wvatlhm' Otto Konold’s pateruhl euros haw just doubled lately. \Vv haven’t. lwzu'd whether it is a girl 0r .1, boy. The most, faithful rmul-ln'eaki-r (m the Durham road is the driver 0f the stage. In many parts he is the lst man along after a sun-m. “'0 have some residents who wvw newer yet, known to turn out of tlwirnwn free will and help hr *ak a road. After many years sci-Vic e as secre- tary~troasmvr of S. S. No. l. ('ilvnelg, Sandy Binnie has resigned his oflirv, and his brother. (ii-urge. has boon up- pnintvd in his plurc. Sandy B111] and Grant M1_:( 31111111 11111 having something of .11 rest since the Baptist 111111111111 opening. “ Sandy can sing better than the. graduate 11f the. (‘.1111s11.11'1.1'1to1) 111 )1115111,"s.111111n11 12111V 111111 “ \\ hut .11 strong 111155 (1111mt has! ’ 1.1111111 1i1111111 another. \\ 11 111111. of the opinion they 111111 1111111 model young 1111111 ifo1113 the\ ' 11111111 111111111t11 stav 111111111 at nights. Mr. and Miss \chechnie. of Ben- tinck were. \isiting at Md‘ormick’s f0 3. few days r-em ntly . Dan and Jack BIC-Arthur, of the Glen, have been busy latelygotvting lumber for a new barn. , They are for- tunate in having the logs to make the necessary twenty nr more thousand feet of lumber. There was a jolly gathering of young people at Dan McCurmick’s last; week. It’s a pity our young folk couldn’t get together more. Mrs. E. Hamilton. 1.. ’1 \, 5’ We never keep any Hats over, and in order to clear, we otter Great Baxgains for the rest of the Season. We have a Grand Assortment of Silk and Flannj Blouses we are selling at reaso able prices. Lar e Stock of Fancy Collars and andkerchiefs for Xmas. Call and See the Bargains are offering. 8186 a great numbei-v of vsvtâ€"y'fisvl; ‘Ready-to-wears, all styles. nun-"V. [1 Must be 801d It 3:31‘y 10‘ 11m We have over fifty beautiful trinmed Huh going at HALF PRICE. Some are made of the Vpry best Silk Velyet. We have VERYTHING in Millinery Must be Sold at a V6117 low Bargains . . . SPRING BANK. Brown is home again from BUN ESSAN . M ..' or“~Q-- r. LAMBTON ST RE ET Strictly Cash System. We will give you the best that close hunting can lind and will charge you less than any other house in Town. Men’s Felt Bears. laced or buckled, sells for $2.50 ...... our price now $1.75 Men’s Leather Top Laced Rubbers. sells for $2.50. ...... our price now $2.00 Woman’s Cardigans sells for $1.2: .................... our price now 51.0” Men’s Handmade Felt Laced B'rscalf Boxed, sell for $2.50 our price now $2.00 Women’s superior quality Feltfipats sell for 75 cts.‘. . . .our price now 50c. Child's best English Corduroy Leggins, for-$1.00 ....... our price now 50c. V8! V tempting to monm SM (‘18 comparisons 3011 will find that ~‘â€"In all Cases give it Sprinkled on cut Feed, Bran or Chopped Oats ' SOLD ONLY BY Give to Horses and Cattlv half :1 young :1muml."giw two large. T and Slwep give a. l Compounded from Concentrated Flesh Forming Foods and Ingredients. It will be found a Great Benefit in bringing Horses, Cat- tle, Sheep and Pigs into Prune Condition without the least A Condition Powder'of First-class Merit. A Good Tonic and Appetizer. Horse and cattle' Spice .PARKER, Order and Repairing Our Specialty. Do You (Ucar'tbe Peel Shoe? 6-LB. PACKAGE FOR 25 CENTS. irijury to the constltution. DIRECTIONS : PEEL. a (.‘upful to a small (‘upful twivv a day. To Tahlvsgounfuls twice a day. Tu Calves, Pigs . large .1 hlcsponnful twicv a day. In oflbring‘ worthicst qualities that prove irresistable. Our large range of bargains are avers. It you will onlymake always are we THE SHOE MAN. ' 1'!